Originally Unoriginal

It seems like a lifetime ago when church drama was ruling my life, and yet it seems like only yesterday we gave birth to Grace Fellowship.  Regardless what it feels like, in less than 2 years we have moved into our new church building and had Easter Service right there in between the sheet rocked walls! Things have definitely not been easy.  There has been heartaches, tears, frustration, and doubts. But they seem so minor compared to the joys, happiness, love, and deep down change that has occurred in my church families' lives.   For those of you who don't know, we were able to purchase an old furniture store that was going out of business.  (A huge 100' x 100' metal building, or something like that!)  In about a month, we ripped up carpet, tore down walls, put up rafters, and sheet rocked the inside of our sanctuary.  This morning we had over 100 people gathered to celebrate the resurrection of Christ and the birth of our salvation.   Despite the fact that I've...

I praise sing at my church every Sunday if I'm there.  This Sunday it was just me, Mr. Guitarman and Mr. Drummer, as the other musicians and praise singers were out of town.  Well, we were doing our thing this morning, just an acoustic guitar, a little drum for rhythm and our voices.  We got to the last song, "When I Speak Your Name."  I didn't even make it through the first verse, and I began to cry. My mind went to the only other time I had sung that song in an actual service.  It was a Wednesday night youth service.  Before that particular youth service, I had a tiny melt down that no one really knew about.  There have been tough times in my life, but I never remember feeling what I had felt that afternoon.  I was lying on my mom's couch after dinner and before church.  It had been a bad day at school, I was facing some financial difficulties, and I was having my first issues with Mr. Amazing.  I can only describe it as the worst spirit of fear that I'v...

Many times I wonder, if we could see through God's eyes, how amazed we would be at the stupidity of our "Christian" efforts.  I think we would laugh at our attempts to do right and be who we think we are suppose to be.   At times we might even be embarrassed of how far off we are from the mark. Not that being Christ like is unattainable or too lofty a goal.  No, I think we would find that we make it much more complicated than it was intended to be.   Please don't think I'm making light of a relationship with the Lord or saying that it's the easiest thing in the world to do.  It takes dedication and commitment of course.  But it's so simple to have a relationship with God that anyone can do it.  It has to be because everyone is entitled to it. Everyone is capable of it, yet many just choose not to accept it. Perhaps we are partly to blame for them not accepting God's love.  Perhaps we make it seem too hard.  Perhaps we make them think they are not worth...

I don't really have anything I wish to share. Even though I enjoy talking about Mr. Amazing, I find that I don't want to share it to the whole blogosphere . I'd rather keep all his sweet, wonderful gestures more intimate than the world wide web. So if I'm not talking about him, I find that I don't have much else to share with you right now. School is going well, church is going well, and for the most part, life in general is going well. Maybe something interesting will lead me to blog soon.

Tonight was the beginning of an extremely awesome combination of churches that I believe is going to rock the youth of the Delta! My church, along with 3-4 other churches, met up and had a huge youth service. Our youth band did the worship service and it was so great to help lead all the youth there in worship to our King. I know many hearts were moved and lives were changed. Friday night we are meeting at another church for another youth service. I can't wait to see how God moves again! It doesn't matter what our theological difference is. We are able to come together as ONE CHURCH and do what we were meant to do, worship God and share the gospel of Jesus! That's what it's all about!

Where did the church (as a whole) go wrong? When did we start to think that God blesses us to store it all up? Why did we think it is ok to hold on to what God gave us? Why aren't we giving out of our abundance ? Why aren't we helping the unfortunate at every turn? Instead we are praying "God bless me. God send this to me. God I need." Then when He provides we hold on to it for dear life as if He is not the owner of the cattle on a thousand hills, as if He doesn't have more where that came from. I've found that God is big enough to supply us with lots. Then when we've given to everyone we can find, we still have tons left over. I've found that God can take 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread and feed 5000 with plenty to spare. Why does the church think they are the final say on salvation? When did we think we could take salvation into our own hands? Why do we think that works save us. Why do we try to put God in a formula. Why do we lay out certain standa...

I'm super stoked about an upcoming camping trip! We are taking the youth group camping in Tishimingo State Park Thursday - Saturday. The guys have gone on 2 camping trips prior to this, but the girls have never gone. I've never been period. So I can't wait. I've been informed that tents, heat, and mosquitoes aren't going to be too much fun, but I'm ready for the experience! I may hate myself come Saturday , but right now I'm too excited! I think that possibly the youth leaders are more excited about going camping than the kids are! I'm sure I'll have tons of stories to tell when I get back and plenty of pictures to post. So please forgive me while I'm out of touch for a few days. I plan on turning my cell phone off when we reach camp Thursday and not turning it back on until Saturday when we pull out!

Here's some music to tide you over while I try to talk myself into not avoiding the same thing I've been avoiding for weeks! :)

I'm house sitting (we'll call it that) for friends this week. I really enjoy being alone. Now I have to contemplate if I like it more than shopping on a regular basis.... Easter was amazing! I've made a few contacts with some people from church, and they were really touched. God is doing really great things at Grace Fellowship and in my town. More info on that later. Guys are dumb, but so am I. I realize I'm a big scaredy cat that has a gigantic fear of rejection that paralyzes me. I've come to grips with that. Why can't everyone else? Also, I possibly have a huge sense of pride standing in my way. And yes, I realize that pride goes before the fall and all that other scriptural stuff that will end up biting me on the tail. :) But if it was meant to be, wouldn't it just work out? Again, all I can say is... BUH !

Over Spring Break, I read the book Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell . Although I know some of my readers despise the book, I really, really enjoyed it. His whole premise for the book is to show us that Christianity is a living breathing organism, growing everyday. We have to take everything in life and be able to strech and move and bend. No, that doesn't mean compromise. Obviously there are things going on now that wasn't included in the Bible. We have to able to take the word of God and apply it to our lives in today's society. We have to find an interpretation that after prayer and consideration feels right for us. I've been finding lately some ideas I always believed were solid, are not so solid anymore. As Bell explains, My religion was a brick wall. Everything fit neatly together and it wouldn't bend or adjust for anyone or anything. As a result of life and situations, bricks were broken and pushed out of the wall, and my wall got really shakey and was almost...

Every work of God begins with an altar. My pastor said that this morning in his message. Now I'm left wondering how many altars have I built in my life. How many of those altars were for God or for my own personal ageneda? I've been wondering why I'm not getting what I want in life. Perhaps it's because I'm not sacrificing my desires to God like I should? I do know that God is the only source of my life. He is the only one that can give me what I need. So why do I worry? Perhaps it's time for me to rebuild some altars. I need to go back and clear off the past landmarks as a reminder of God's provisions.

**This post is not written to offend anyone. It is strictly my thoughts on a very sensitive subject in Pentecostal/Apostolic/Holiness Movements today. You may or may not know anything pertaining to "Dress Standards" in these churches, but if not, maybe it will help you understand why things are the way they are.** I have been raised to uphold certain standards in my dress and appearance. Women are to have long hair and to only wear skirts, not rising above the knee. We are not to wear make-up or jewelry, except for a wedding ring. All of this is to be done in order to be an example to the world and be pleasing in the sight of God. I have upheld these rules, for the most part, for the past 24 years of my life. I have questioned them often. I even did a study with my college and career group a few years back. The principles behind them made since, to a degree, and there were a few scriptures to back them up, so I accepted the status-quo. As certain events began to arise in my l...

First I have to say that the Cowboys choked and lost the playoff game again! I'll be cheering for the Packers next week, which is ok. Brett is a Mississippi Boy! I prayed and asked God to let them win. But I had a bad attitude this weekend, and despite my not-so-sincere apology, I think God was making me suffer. I do apologize to all the fans out there. But hey, we can always blame Jessica Simpson! In all seriousness though, I've been a bit haughty and high minded. I know I am on a regular basis, but most of the time I'm just joking. This time, well, maybe I overstepped my boundaries. I guess the reason why I'm sharing this is because a good friend told me that he basically didn't believe I struggled with sin. And honestly I don't struggle with the "big sins" as far as humans categorize sin. I don't ever have the urge to drink, smoke, or dip. I don't struggle with fornication because I don't usually get that close to guys. However I do stru...

So I've recovered extremely well from the drama of last year. My pastor preached a sermon (unfortuantely, I missed it last week) about saying goodbye to the storm and I'm so ready to say ADIOS!! I am so glad that God makes us new creatures and that His mercies are new every morning! It is only through Him that I've come out sane this year! It's just amazing that something that seemed so huge a month ago seems to barely exist today, but I thank God for his leading hand. So as not to be beating around the bush, I am declaring that from this point on, we will no longer discuss past church issues or stupid boys from 2007 unless God needs me to testify of His grace! Agreed? Ok! We'll consider it our new year's pact!

Our Church is beginning it's own weekly TV show. Pastor asked me to do a tiny segment on issues facing teenagers. This is one of the shots taken today at Delta Grind!

Dear Anonymous Commenter : Please forgive me for obviously bringing up a sensitive subject for you. As if the death of my friend wasn't enough sadness, you must have bitterness towards my pastor and my church. I really am sorry you feel this way. It seems that my pastor, my church, and I have all moved on from past drama, but some must still dwell in it. I think if you took a step back from this, you would realize how horrible it is to use the tragic death of a man as ammunition against innocent people. No one pulled the trigger but TIM, and as much as I would like to say there was something else any of us could have done, the truth is there wasn't. Tim was a very troubled man, but he was troubled long before he got to us. We all did the best that we knew how. Most importantly we loved him. Tim knew the truth, was taught the gospel, but most importantly was shown the love of Christ rather than judgment. If that makes any of us wrong or liars or mis -leaders, then so be it. Agai...

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes. The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed at the head of that stony coffin. Early Sunday morning while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb and I don't know where they have put him!' Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in. Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side. In order to unders...

Guys are the most confusing creatures on earth. I'm sure they don't mean to be, but they are. I'm working out at the YMCA with my brother! Tonight is my first night, and I'm really excited. I hope I'm excited a few months from now! I left my camera in Hot Springs while visiting my friends for the weekend. I'll have pictures to add whenever I get it back! I got a speeding ticket while traveling home yesterday from Hot Springs. I have a radar detector. It didn't start beeping until I was already pulled over. I wanted to chunk it out the window. The coaches have talked me into doing the score book at the basketball games this season. I get paid $25 a game, so I said yes. I'll use the money to pay for my speeding ticket and use the rest for my rising car insurance cost! We had awesome church last night. Despite a vindictive situation that could have taken place, God honored the right attitude and showered down His Spirit anyway! Did you know that LSD can sta...

Our church is on a 3 day fast. Today is day 2. We break the fast tomorrow after church with a soup supper. I'm hungry physically, but I'm getting fed spiritually. I've never been a huge fan of fasting. I'm not a glutton, but I like food. But I've never really met anyone who says, "Man I love to fast. It's my favorite thing." However, I'm finding some things out about fasting, and I'm finding that my spiritual man (woman, I guess) is really enjoying it. Here are some reasons why fasting is beneficial for me: I don't consciously think about food too often. If I'm hungry I eat, and even when I'm not hungry I eat. It's more of a habit. Eating is almost like breathing. I do it all the time, I just don't consciously think about it. However, when I don't eat I am so conscious of food. I wake up thinking about eating, I go to bed thinking about food. As I drive and pass every single restaurant, I think of my favorite food and ho...

I shot a real gun for the first time in my life yesterday afternoon. I didn't like it at all. I hate guns now just as much as I did before. I didn't get any cool rush of adrenaline. I got a shaky feeling inside from the kick and loud noise. I felt like a scared, little girl. DS , I do appreciate your concern for my safety, but really...guns aren't for me. I guess there IS a girl in my somewhere! Our Remix Youth Band had our first paying gig yesterday morning! A new local church that we have fellowshipped with several times invited us over to do the worship set for their youth service. We were definitely not looking for money, but it kinda made us feel like a real band. We just had a great time worshiping with them; it was a really good experience for us.