Originally Unoriginal

As promised...here is the handbag meme that Chantell tagged me to do! First, these are the latest purses that I received.  I got both of these for Christmas.  The silver one I got from my parents.  I've used it once, but I really like it.  The problem is it's not quite as big as I like for everyday use.  The maroon MSU bag was given to me by some friends.  I'll use it when I'm at the game! Secondly, the purses I'm currently using.  I use both the black and the brown purse daily, just depending on what color I'm wearing.  The black purse was purchased last November in LA at one of my favorite stores Forever 21 .  It's really big put I LOVE it.  The brown purse I got for $20 or so at a little store in Jackson, MS called The Silver Gallery . Next is one of my favorite purses.  I used it almost all summer because it's big, white, durable, but really cute.  I bought this last Spring Break in Little Rock, AR at Forever 21.  I probably paid about $30 for it, ...

This week has been busy, and it looks like I'm about to get much busier.  I started a night class this morning, but I'll give you all the details this weekend.  I promise.  And a purse meme, compliments of Chantell's tag....all coming soon!

I was at a concert tonight, Bucky Covington .  But that's not the story.  I saw a guy walk in with several of his friends, and he was...Edward Cullen like.  (For those not in the know, that's the guy from Twilight .) I know, I'm sick, but it's true.  He was very good looking, but it was more than that.  He seemed to give off some type of energy.  I tried not to stare, but I don't think I was so good at following through.  He was dressed nicely in a grey turtleneck, jeans, and a black leather jacket. He just seemed so perfect.  He nor his friends stayed very long.  I saw them as they all walked out, my Edward strolling confidently and beautifully down the aisle.  Maybe they didn't like the music or maybe they had to go hunt?  I looked for him after the show was over, but I didn't see him. If he shows up in my dreams, then maybe I'll be on to something?  I did dream about hanging out with Tim Tebow a couple of nights ago though! :)

**Disclaimer**  I'll probably be giving away a little bit of the plot to the books, so if you are still reading the Series...proceed with caution! So I finally decided to read the Twilight books and figure out what was so great that it had all of my students (7 th graders to seniors) actually sticking their heads in a book!  It didn't take too long to realize that the story is plain mesmerizing.  I started the saga last Sunday and finished it today.  I even read the 3rd book in one night.  I started at 6:30 and couldn't stop reading until I finished it at 2:30 that morning. A guy friend and aspiring author said that he wanted to read the series and try to figure out what it was that women wanted in a good novel, since Twilight seemed to be the only thing teenage girls could talk about lately.  My first response was, "A girl wants out of a novel what she wants in reality but knows she isn't going to get...perfection!"  After finishing the last book, Breaking D...

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? All This Love -- Boys II Men WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Who Knew -- Pink WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Only Grace -- Matthew West HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? There's No Place That Far -- Sarah Evans WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Again I Say Rejoice -- Israel & New Breed WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Indescribable -- Chris Tomlin WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Dreaming With a Broken Heart -- John Mayer WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Pop Bottles -- Baby Featuring Lil' Wayne WHAT IS 2+2? Do the Rock Man -- Montana Da Mac WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Love Song -- Sara Bareilles WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Battle -- Colbie Caillat (Ain't that the truth!) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Stay Beautiful -- Taylor Swift WHAT DO YOU ...

I have been preoccupied all week with reading the Twilight series. I realize that I'm a tad behind times, but I finally gave in to the peer-pressure of Junior High and High School students. I promise a more detailed post over the weekend. But I just finished book 2 and will not have book 3 in my hand until tomorrow, so I need to take advantage of the time I have to clean my apartment and do all the things I've been neglecting since I started this series!

My first week back to school turned out to be a great week.  The students behaved for the most part, and I got several things knocked off of my "to-do" list.   I went to the dentist and got my teeth cleaned.  I love having my teeth cleaned, especially now since they are pretty and straight!  I also went to the doctor and had my blood checked again.  I am extremely anemic.  I was put on iron pills about a year ago, but when I went back for a check up, my iron levels were still low.  The doctor doubled my dosage of iron, and this time my levels were up.  I'm glad about that because taking iron pills is so much better than a shot!  I still need to visit the eye doctor and the dermatologist , but they'll have to wait until I pay for the blood work up. This week I have to begin applying for Grad School.  I need to call and get my transcripts and fill out the application, etc.  The process shouldn't be too hard, but I have to get a start on it in order to make the deadl...

Mr. Amazing bought me a balloon (among other things) when he was here for my birthday this past August.  It was this huge balloon in the shape of a cupcake that said "Happy B-day" on it.  Surprisingly, the balloon has been sitting in the corner of my room since August still perfectly afloat.  It had a lost a little of it's air, but it was still perfectly upright.  I even made a comment about it to him via text yesterday saying that it was still up and had seemed to stick around longer than he did.  (For those of you wondering, he replied back "whatever." and I told him I was just kidding, although there was a lot of truth to the statement.) When I left today for church, I assume it was still afloat.  Being that it's been here so long, I've actually never paid it too much attention.  However, this afternoon when I came home from church, the balloon was half way to the floor.  It immediately caught my eye.  I walked over to it and pleaded with it.  "P...

I had an uneventful New Year's Eve.  It wasn't at all what I had anticipated, but by the time 12 AM arrived, I was just glad to be spending it with anyone at all. I ended up hanging out with my parents and going to one of their friend's house to ring in the new year.  We were all sitting around playing Deal or No Deal  and I looked down at my phone.  15 minutes until the new year.  10 minutes to the new year.  7 minutes to the new year.  I looked to an old friend next to me and said... "Why am I counting down?  Like in 7 minutes my life is going to radically change for the better?" She laughed and agreed..."Not like your knight in shining armor is going to arrive right at that moment, huh?"   "Nope...he'd probably be riding a mule and wearing tin foil anyway!" We were just joking around but they reality is true.  A new year isn't going to miraculously change anything.  No matter whether 2008 was the best year ever or the worst year ever...

I praise sing at my church every Sunday if I'm there.  This Sunday it was just me, Mr. Guitarman and Mr. Drummer, as the other musicians and praise singers were out of town.  Well, we were doing our thing this morning, just an acoustic guitar, a little drum for rhythm and our voices.  We got to the last song, "When I Speak Your Name."  I didn't even make it through the first verse, and I began to cry. My mind went to the only other time I had sung that song in an actual service.  It was a Wednesday night youth service.  Before that particular youth service, I had a tiny melt down that no one really knew about.  There have been tough times in my life, but I never remember feeling what I had felt that afternoon.  I was lying on my mom's couch after dinner and before church.  It had been a bad day at school, I was facing some financial difficulties, and I was having my first issues with Mr. Amazing.  I can only describe it as the worst spirit of fear that I'v...

I'm a pretty cynical person. It's not necessarily something I'm proud of, but it's who I am. I work on not being too cynical, but it's a defense mechanism. Sometimes in life, I've found, it's better to expect the worst, that way you don't get your hopes up. I'm not the biggest Christmas fan around. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love getting and receiving presents as much as the next girl. However, I get a bit tired of all the things we are expected to do just because it's Christmas. You have Christmas parties, Christmas programs, and all the other Christmas activities that aren't done because you want to but because you are obligated to do them. It makes my cynicism hit the roof if not kept in check. But last night, I was reminded what Christmas is about. I know a young boy with autism who is mesmerized by me. (I know...as if the boy didn't have enough on his plate!) Anyways, he just thinks I am the greatest thing in the worl...

Tomorrow I will travel down a road I haven't been down in 4 months...literally.  I've wanted to go down it on several occasions.  Then for a little while, I wished the road would blow up offering no way to ever get to that point again.  But tomorrow, it will be the path for my journey. I'm very hesitant about traveling down this road.  The last time I traveled on it, I was excited.  I knew where I was going and positive about the future.  I had it pretty much figured out.  But then plans changed....or just flat out disappeared.  I've wondered if plans changed because it wasn't meant to be or if God was trying to make me trust Him instead of my plans. Now, I'm contemplating what the road will lead to this time.  Part of me hopes that nothing becomes of it because then I'll know it's all over and done with and possibly not experience anymore hurt.  But the other part of me desperately clings to the hope that, if even just for a few days, I find excitement...

There has been an enormous amount of rainfall in the past few hours, and I'm very glad about it. The rain canceled a basketball game at school. So instead of staying to the school until 9 PM, I was able to leave at 3:30. That means for the first time in a while, I have a weeknight to do nothing! So far I've laid on the couch and watched TV. Now I'm at my parents house, going to eat dinner with them, and probably watch The Dark Knight . (Even though I saw it 3 or 4 times in theater.) Besides the rain on the outside, it's getting pretty stormy inside my head. With the resurrection of Mr. Amazing, my brain is going 90 to nothing. There is a possibility I'll be seeing him soon, and I know exactly how I'm going to handle the situation. It's not what I would tell other people to do. No, I'm sure I'll do the direct opposite...if I actually see him. And if I don't end up seeing him, I'll be mad for wasting all this time fretting over it. ...

...so I'm sorry that I haven't posted anything lately.  I've had something to do every day after school.  I've helped my friend with her monogramming business, kept score at the school basketball games, taken pictures at the school choir concert, and helped a local business with inventory after hours.  On top of that I'm doing church stuff, going to the grocery store, and trying to do some Christmas shopping.   Whoever said this is the "most wonderful time of the year" was CRAZY.   As if that wasn't enough, Mr. Amazing texted me out of the blue today....I won't even comment on all of that.  I was really hoping to avoid a roller coaster; I just wish I had enough strength to walk away and not get on the ride.

Well consider Mr. Amazing deleted from my phone and my life.  In the words of Taylor Swift, "He's just another picture to burn!" So I texted to tell him Happy Thanksgiving and that I understood that things didn't work out, although I wish he could have just said so.  I did say regardless of the situation, I was here if he ever needed anything and that I was thankful he was part of my life that year, if even for a short time. Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything.  Perhaps I should have just said "Happy Thanksgiving" and left it at that.  But I wanted closure, needed closure.  I didn't want to pine away at home, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he might remember I existed.  And I wanted to be nice.  I have no real reason to be rude, and I wanted to treat him the way I wanted to be treated. But just because you treat someone the way you want to be treated, doesn't mean they will actually come through with it.  Matter of fact, Mr. Amazing didn...

It may not last too long, so I'm gonna celebrate it while I can.  Today was a great day.  If only for this weekend, things were fun and light and nice.  I'm not letting what could have been and should have been bother me.  Nope, I'm enjoying the present and be thankful for what I have.  It may not be what I imagined, but it's been fun nonetheless.

To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again…even though every time you’ ve tried before, you’ ve lost.  It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away.  I think lovin...

I don't understand it.  And I know that I'm not meant to understand everything.  I know that I am incapable of seeing the big picture.  I'm desperately trying to trust you completely.  I want to believe, but please help my unbelief. I know that I don't deserve anything.  Everything I have, everything I am, is only because you are a gracious father who wishes to bestow good upon me.   Forgive me for being selfish and bratty.  I know that things could be worse and that there are many, many others who's plight is 100 times more devastating than anything I could imagine. It doesn't stop my heart from aching but it lessens the pain.   You ultimately are the only one I need, the only one that can make me better.  I stand in awe of Your grace and love.  I'm amazed by You. The only thing I have to offer You today are my tears and my life.  It's not much, especially compared to Your greatness, but I give it anyway.  But the most amazing thing is that You find my...

For the past 5-6 years I've slept on 2 mattresses. I wanted my bed to be soft and cushy so that I just sunk into it. That was all good, but now, my back hurts. Guess my age is catching up with me. Anyways, I asked for a box springs mattress for Christmas. For unimportant reasons, I got the box springs today. I laid on the bed, and it was hard and well, felt like a regular bed. Guess that's how I've been living my life for a while. I wanted everything to be soft and cushy and fun and youthful. But life is catching up with me, and grown up life is plain and hard at times. I'm realizing that it doesn't matter that I still feel like I'm 16; I'm not. I'm an adult, and I have to play by adult rules. I don't get a free pass from bills or dumb bosses or stupid guys because I don't look my age. This isn't a fuss or a pity party. I'm not crying about the situation. I'm just waking up to reality and pulling up my big girl pantie...