The things I currently hate...
I hate that I love you. I hate that talking to you makes me feel better. I hate that the fire of hope won't die. I hate that I can't stop wishing. I hate that the idea of talking to you makes me feel better but thinking it may be the last time makes me sick to my stomach. I hate that I don't want to be your friend because I can't be more. But I can't imagine not being your friend even if I can't be more. I hate that I can't move on and terrified you will. I hate that I want to move, but I don't want to move for you because I'm scared it won't be enough for you. I hate that you can't see what I see. I hate that you can't be certain. I hate having faith in you and not in "us." I hate crying and being confused, especially when I think one day it may not even matter. I hate caring. I hate feeling. I hate remembering. Most of all, I hate being me without you.