Originally Unoriginal

Going on strike is not going to be easy. It's hard for me to sit back and do basically nothing. I'm thinking of all these things I want to say, but I can't because I'm on strike. I knew it wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world, but I'm managing. Of course, it's only the first day. I've got a feeling it's only going to get harder for a while. I'm unemployed. I'm watching everyone else go on with life as usual, and I'm here holding my sign, which no one is really even bothering to notice. However, I'm hoping that after a few days someone will notice that I'm not there. Someone will notice my silence and ask me what my sign is all about. Hopefully...

I yelled at God today. It wasn't an, "I told God off thing." No, I'm definitely not stupid enough to think I could let God have it. It was more of a "You're God and You have to fix this, or I'm going to go crazy." God didn't audible answer back; He never does. However, I felt like God was saying, "It's about time you got fed up with this ' cuz I was beginning to wonder about you. I mean, I knew you were a pretty tolerant person, but come on now, only I got that much patience." I've been crazy for a while. I've been going at something the same exact way expecting a different result. I can honestly say that I've prayed about it, but I always reverted back to the same old ways, thinking that because I prayed, it was going to be different. Well I just cannot take it anymore. It's eating away at me until it consumes my thoughts, and I'm not dealing so well with it. So I've decided that I'm walking away fr

Guys are the most confusing creatures on earth. I'm sure they don't mean to be, but they are. I'm working out at the YMCA with my brother! Tonight is my first night, and I'm really excited. I hope I'm excited a few months from now! I left my camera in Hot Springs while visiting my friends for the weekend. I'll have pictures to add whenever I get it back! I got a speeding ticket while traveling home yesterday from Hot Springs. I have a radar detector. It didn't start beeping until I was already pulled over. I wanted to chunk it out the window. The coaches have talked me into doing the score book at the basketball games this season. I get paid $25 a game, so I said yes. I'll use the money to pay for my speeding ticket and use the rest for my rising car insurance cost! We had awesome church last night. Despite a vindictive situation that could have taken place, God honored the right attitude and showered down His Spirit anyway! Did you know that LSD can sta

Here's proof that I was a roaring NRA supporter for a few minutes....

Our church is on a 3 day fast. Today is day 2. We break the fast tomorrow after church with a soup supper. I'm hungry physically, but I'm getting fed spiritually. I've never been a huge fan of fasting. I'm not a glutton, but I like food. But I've never really met anyone who says, "Man I love to fast. It's my favorite thing." However, I'm finding some things out about fasting, and I'm finding that my spiritual man (woman, I guess) is really enjoying it. Here are some reasons why fasting is beneficial for me: I don't consciously think about food too often. If I'm hungry I eat, and even when I'm not hungry I eat. It's more of a habit. Eating is almost like breathing. I do it all the time, I just don't consciously think about it. However, when I don't eat I am so conscious of food. I wake up thinking about eating, I go to bed thinking about food. As I drive and pass every single restaurant, I think of my favorite food and ho

I shot a real gun for the first time in my life yesterday afternoon. I didn't like it at all. I hate guns now just as much as I did before. I didn't get any cool rush of adrenaline. I got a shaky feeling inside from the kick and loud noise. I felt like a scared, little girl. DS , I do appreciate your concern for my safety, but really...guns aren't for me. I guess there IS a girl in my somewhere! Our Remix Youth Band had our first paying gig yesterday morning! A new local church that we have fellowshipped with several times invited us over to do the worship set for their youth service. We were definitely not looking for money, but it kinda made us feel like a real band. We just had a great time worshiping with them; it was a really good experience for us.

Tonight was Homecoming, and being the hip, cool teacher that I am, I chaperoned the dance. I do believe the parents and I had more fun than the students did. We danced like it was 1999. ( Ok , I'm becoming one of those lame teachers now aren't I?) I danced with several of the students and shook my tail feathers! I just couldn't help but think how much fun high school was and how much I missed out on when I was younger because I had the typical teenage attitude. At the moment, you think you are too cool for that stuff, and sometimes you miss out on great memories. Six years later, you think, "Man, I wish I was back in high school..." So I guess tonight I relived a bit of my old high school days. Being a teacher gives me the opportunity to do that every once in a while. The only thing was that I kept thinking how I wished I had a real dance partner to share those fun moments with. I guess I'll just keep saving that last dance for someone special...

(A paraphrased version) Dr. Shepherd : I want to marry you. I want to raise a family with you. I want to live to be 110 and die in your arms. I don't want 48 hours of uninterrupted time. I want a lifetime. And I see as I say that you fighting the urge to run in the opposite direction. But that's OK. I learned something today. You are still an intern, you're not ready. Dr. Grey : But can't things stay like they are and I'll get ready? Dr. Shepherd : That's fine. We can keep doing what we're doing and you can get ready. I'll wait for you. But what if while I'm waiting for you to get ready, I find someone who's ready to do all the things you aren't ready for with me?

I absolutely hate being a girl at times. (That line should be enough to warn every guy to proceed with caution...) Sometimes, when it's that time of the month, I can get extraordinarily moody. I know when it's coming on, but it's not as if it's something you can announce to the world. If you are sick, then you can simply say I don't feel well. Then when someone asks you, what's wrong, you can say, my stomach hurts, my head hurts. But it's hard to explain to someone in a polite manner that you want to rip everyones head off or bust out crying just because your brain is telling you too. It doesn't help that I had an emotional conversation or that my pastor wrote me a really sweet encouraging letter. So I just had a bit of a breakdown, but I'm feeling better now. I just overwhelm myself. I try to be everything to everyone because I want people to be comfortable even if it wears me out. I don't know why I try to please everyone; I'm not s

I had a theological conversation with a friend, Guitar Man, today, and we both raised some very interesting points that I wish to share. A mutual friend of ours had expressed his anger with the Baptist church because they had never taught him the book of Acts. Guitar Man replied to him that he was mad at the Pentecostal church because they never taught him anything else. Think about it. If you are UPC or another A/P organization, most likely "standards" were preached hard and heavy along with the 3-step plan of salvation. I was raised to think there was a formula to live by and get to heaven. Follow the formula and you will be rewarded, miss any step and you will be doomed forever. I can't speak for any other denomination, but to hear them talk, it seems as they are taught to repent and say a prayer and they make it to heaven. The rest of their life doesn't really matter. Don't get me wrong, I believe in Jesus Name Baptism and the infilling of the Holy Ghost, but

It's been an uneventful week, Thank God! Therefore, I've had nothing really to blog about. Last week was 9 weeks test (mid-term), this week we had to have grades in the computers, and Monday is report card day! Also, next week is homecoming week, so that may prove to be interesting. I do apologize for not feeding you with wonderful stories about my life. I love the fact that you all read my musings, but I do now recognize the fact that many people I know personally read. That presents a problem b/c now I have to be careful what I say. I may hurt someone's feelings. That bothers me a little because my blog is my release, my therapy. But I'll find some way around it. Last night and today, I attended the Extraordinary Women's conference in Jackson. It was such a great time, and I heard several great speakers. I got to hear Michelle McKinney Hammond speak, and even meet her in person! If you've never read her books about empowering women, you must check them out.

Today marks the 1st Birthday of REMIX, our Wednesday night youth services. Not only have the youth changed, but my life has changed dramatically since its inception. Today was a prime example. I got home and received a phone call from one of my girls. She was having a special dress up and needed a ride to the store to get a shirt. What seemed like a short trip to the store ended up being a 2 hour shopping spree. We went to just about every store in town. I had just gotten home, eaten supper, and settled down to watch Grey's Anatomy when I got a text on my phone. One of the other girls got in a fight with her mom and shoved her mom. The girl was really upset, so I spent an hour texting her to calm her down. There are nights like tonight where I feel exhausted. However, overall, I know that this is the ministry God has for me. I love these kids as if they were my own. I cry with them when they are in pain, and I glory with them in their achievements. I feel like a mom even though I

Today will make a great chapter in the book of my life. I'm going to write it when I'm old, so that the I won't care if my secrets are out... I'm not going to go into a lot of details here, but there are some things that I learned today that I wish to share... Blogs will be read by those you don't think will read them. No matter how "unknown" you think you are, being online makes you suddenly famous. Therefore be 200% sure you want people to know what you write. Sometimes things shouldn't be told. Even if you think they really should. Trust me, some things are better left unknown. There is a reason lying is a sin. It's bad. You shouldn't do it. Good friends will throw themselves under a bus for you. A better friend will allow YOU to throw them under the bus. I almost became "that" girl, and even though some may think I am "that" girl, I'm not. God is so good at His job, working things out for our good, that when we screw

In the past few weeks I have admitted my willingness to begin dating and even confessed interest in a guy . As all of this has come to light, the discussion of successful women being intimidating has come to play. To all of this, here is my reply. I've always been hard line when it came to guys and relationships. No one was good enough to stop me from achieving my goals. I'm very careful on who I let pass my walls; I don't do close relationships well, even with just friends. I despise clingy, needy people. I cannot tolerate girls who totally lose their identities when dating a guy. I'm not a girly , mushy girl. I know what I want. I have my own opinions, and I'm not timid about sharing them, although I'll never force them on anyone. That's me....take me or leave me. I'm the guys' girl. The girl that doesn't really hang out with the girls. I spend my Saturday afternoons watching football and actually enjoying it. I'm the bridesmaid who is the