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I cooked my first meal in my apartment. Yes, I've been there a month and it was the first time I turned the stove on! It was a Green Giant Chicken Teriyaki meal , but it was good! Today, I'm making stew in a crock-pot b/c I want be home until much later. I've turned into a culinary genius! :) Other than that, my time off has been busy so far. My friend has a monogramming business, so I've been working for her the past few days. I'll finish this order up this afternoon, then I'll be running errands, going to work out, and watching my brother play softball. My parents are on vacation in Asheville , NC. We got my mom tickets to the Biltmore Plantation and so they finally got a chance to go this week. Mom called to tell me all about it. I'm a bit jealous, but I'm glad they got to go. She's always wanted to see it. I'm going Saturday to help my friend look for bridesmaid's dresses. She's getting married September 27 th . I'm

School is out for the summer! However, I've still got a ton of work to do, just of a different kind. There are somethings that I've got to work on this summer. I'm still working on improving me. I want to start cooking. I want to work out even more. I want to work on keeping my apartment clean. I also want to work on my Bible Studies. I want to get to know God even more. I want to draw even closer to Him than I am now. But right now, I want to stop making this guy such a priority in my life when obviously I'm just an option for him. I want to stop hanging on to his good intentions. I want to wipe away all the "could be's" and deal with reality. It doesn't matter how much he loves God and how much good he wants to do. He can think I'm the greatest person in the world, but if he doesn't want me, then none of that matters. It's time to suck it all up and put it all on the line. We can be friends, but we can't go out on date

I'm still working on some things....like lowering my expectations of others. You said you wanted to hang out and see where it progressed. I was cool with that. I didn't even mind being the one to initiate the hanging out. I thought things were improving, drastically. You were the one that "missed me." You were the one that "was trying." I realize that you are a great person, but you suck at relationships. And I realize that this isn't a steady relationship but whatever it is...it sucks. I'm trying to be patient because love is patient, and I know that you have issues. But "Made of Honor" is a movie! I'm not waiting around for you for 10 years to get your act together. So why did I expect any more from you? Why did I get my hopes up?

...in the world, in your school, in your workplace. You fill in the blank That's my new motto! I'm ready to see some positive things happen, and that's only going to happen one person at a tie What better person to start with than myself? I've decided to put myself out there, and do whatever I need to do to make things happen. I can sit by idly and wish things were better or I can make a conscious effort to change them. So if I don't succeed, at least I tried. And I don't plan to go out without a fight. My new motto was strengthened today at school when I heard of a recent student getting saved. She was a known lesbian, but in math class, she proceeded to preach to the rest of the class about how she's been changed. As the bell was ringing, she asked the kids to hold tight while she said a prayer. She ended it "God let something I said today touch someone." WOW! I was floored. Her boldness to get in front of the entire class and put all

A friend of mine commented how much I've changed over the past year. He said besides the emotional peace I seem to have lately, there has been an outward change. He stated that I was taking time out for me, and it seemed to show. He's right. I have been having a ton of "me" time lately. Some of it has been fun: new clothes, new hair, new tan, even the new work-outs. But all the inward, emotional stuff has been down right difficult at times. It's not so easy to look at yourself and say, "You've got to change." It hurts to dig deep and expose light to the dark places of your soul. My recently discovered issue is that I don't trust myself, therefore, I don't trust others. As a result I keep my guard up with people as not to be disappointed when they don't live up to my expectations. My expectations of others are high because I expect too much out of myself. I'm hard on myself because I don't trust myself to just relax. I do

I chaperoned prom Friday night. I couldn't help but smile when I looked at all the kids laughing and dancing. Although it was just a few years that I was at my high school prom, still the day seems so far away. I remember being just like those students thinking that I had reached the pinnacle of my life for the moment. And now looking back, it's nothing more than a vague memory. I left the prom and headed to a friend's house. Her children attend the school where I teach, so I helped her and other parents prepare breakfast for all the kids. About 3:00 AM, 50 plus students arrived. Some were drunk, some were fighting with their boyfriends, one was even sobbing, but overall they seemed to have fun. And they all made it home safely! I got to bed about 5:30 Saturday morning. I still have yet to recover from the lack of sleep. I saw a guy I graduated high school with Saturday afternoon. We briefly caught up with the latest on who's gotten married and who moved whe

If this is the real world, I'll take a fake! I got a speeding ticket today. It was in a school zone. They say the price will double as a result. I don't have the money to pay for a speeding ticket. I had to pay rent and utility bills and car insurance. So this is what being broke feels like? I don't want to get use to it. Besides being broke, I like living on my own. I know it's going to get better. It has to get better. It was a step I had to take sooner or later. I can't live with my parents forever, and I can't wait around thinking that Mr. Right is just around the corner. Maybe he is, but then again, maybe he's not. The thing with trusting God is that things don't work on your time, they work on His. That's kinda hard to get use to, but I'm trying. And knowing that He loves me more than anything helps out a lot!

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