Open mouth....insert both feet!

Have you ever had a moment where you said something, and later wished you would have kept your big, stupid mouth shut. So goes my day. I have a big problem with sometimes spitting off junk to friends before really thinking about what I'm saying. I've been raised around a bunch of bashers...It's how we show we love each other...We are mean. I know it sounds weird and like a bad excuse. I guess it doesn't go over well to people that don't really know me in that manner.

Really though, I have no excuse. I said something that really hurt my friend's feelings, and now I wish I wouldn't have said it. What I said wasn't true at all, I just said it in a joking manner. However, now that I look back on it, it was really mean considering the circumstances, and I understand why that person took it the wrong way. That friend seems to think that I was right, even though what I said hurt that person's feelings.

So now we are going back and forth like this...

Me: I'm sorry.
Friend: No, it's ok, you were right.
Me: No, I wasn't right.
Friend: Yes, you were, quit apologizing.
Me: But I feel terrible; I never want to hurt your feelings.
Friend: It's ok now. I'm over it, and it's really made me think.

Things are suppose to be resolved. Hopefully they are, but I still feel lousy. I seriously felt lower than dirt when I realized that what I said had hurt my friend's feelings. And if that friend is reading this, please know that I am sorry from the bottom of my heart, and I want to make things up to you anyway that I can.

I'm thinking up taking a vow of silence, but somehow I don't think that will work...

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