Sheer aggravation

Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try, life just kicks ya in the butt. You try to do what's right, you make mistakes, you apologize, you move on, then you kicked down so hard you think...what's the sense in even getting back up.

It's really hard to be that good person all the time to everyone, especially at times like this. It'd be super easy to walk up to someone and tell them how unworthy they are of you and your friendship. How their actions and lack of respect for your feelings speaks so much louder than any words they ever spoke to you.

I don't know who I'm more angry with, the person for being so rude and inconsiderate, or myself for allowing myself to trust them. I guess what really makes me sad is that I have no one to blame but myself really. I'm an intelligent person, I should have known better. I should have changed the situation months ago, but for some dumb reason I let it linger. Now I'm aggravated beyond belief.

Oh yeah, and my cell phone has suffered one more change...one more name deleted off the list....should have stayed deleted a long time ago....

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Hurt and The Healer...Collide!

So the other day I simply prayed "God, if you aren't going to restore this relationship, help me move on.  I'm ready to be through with this."  A few hours later I had an email from him saying "I'm moving on.  If you want to discuss this, we can, but after that I can't speak to you anymore.  I need to make some decisions with a clear conscious."  And that was it.  Couldn't get more final than that!  Maybe if the email had come a few days or a week later.  But no, there was no mistaking this answer from God.  "You asked for it...poof!"  And there it was...the answer to what I had been praying for since September.  I'm not sure what made me pray that prayer that way on that day.  I'm not sure what made God answer the prayer with an email that quickly.  But whatever the reason, there was no denying that it was God. And of course, it wasn't the answer I wanted.  It was infuriating.  Why now God?  Why answer this prayer now? 
Read more

The Next Chapter

My pastor decided to resign this morning. Instead of forcing anyone to vote yes or no against the ministry, he resigned. Those of us in support of his ministry left the Greenville United Pentecostal Church and are starting a new work, Grace Apostolic Fellowship. Our first service this morning was held at a local funeral home. After all the jokes about raising the dead, etc, we ended up having a great service with 97 people in attendance. We are believing God for a permanent home in the next 30 days. I am sad to leave UPC. That church was a haven to me during a hard time in my life. I wouldn't be the person I am today without many of the people there. Numerous people invested in me, and I am grateful. I will never forget the love, friendships, and lessons I learned while a member there. I will not belittle my past with bitterness and act as if it means nothing to me. There will always be fond memories. My leadership began at that church, and I do not take it for granted. There are
Read more

No Greater Love

There is a biological clock that ticks.  Sometimes it's so faint, I don't even hear it.  Other times, its tick-tock is more like a sonic boom in my ears, reminding me that my "best years" are quickly slipping by. There have been times where I thought the clock's ticking was meaningless because my life was headed in the right direction.  The good guy in my life would lead to a proposal, house, family...to taking my rightful place in society.  Or, I was applying for jobs in big cities where I could live the single life seen in the movies...just fun and friends! With the guys never seeming to pan out, I figured it was time to spread my wings and fly.  To become Miss Independent, far away from the small country life I have lived for so long.  And many, many people encouraged it.  There is no future here in Greenville, no real single friends my age, no possibilities for someone like me.  Then there were those that questioned, what are you going to do about "so
Read more