What's Your Greatest Fear?
That's the question I asked my students at the beginning of class one day last week. Answers varied throughout my 7th grade classes. Most popular was snakes, spiders, and report card day. A few students admitted they were afraid of the dark or even clowns. Some boys proudly proclaimed that they were not afraid of anyone or anything.
It's amazing how quickly new epiphanies come to me, especially when I'm teaching. But as I began to hear the student's responses to my fear question, this thought came to mind. Many students kept asking, "What's your greatest fear, Ms. Rigney?" My reply is this...
No, I don't like snakes, spiders, and other creepy, crawly insects or rodents. If there were one in the room, I may freak out and be very frightful. However, they are not my greatest fears. I don't live every day terrified that a bug or rat may be lurking around a dark corner awaiting me. I hardly ever think of them at all, as a matter of fact. So even though I'm fearful of them when they are present, they are not my greatest fear.
A great fear, to me, is something that haunts you almost daily. A fear that resides in your subconscious, ready to emerge at any moment. That fear in my life is the fear of failure, the fear of making the wrong decision and wasting my time, my energy, my life. Such a fear exists that I question myself on numerous occasions. I'm always searching for God's will, praying for God's will, and then praying again to make sure I heard right when God answered.
Where does this fear come from? It stems as far back as I can remember. Throughout my life I've seen numerous people give up and throw away talent. I know people who could have been someone, who could have done something prosperous with their lives, just walk away to nothingness. I've seen people chase what they thought was a bigger, better dream, to find out it was the worst nightmare. I've loved people who had the potential to do great things, to reach countless people, to really make a difference in other's life, possibly the world. Sadly, I've seen them walk away from it all for a little "sin for a season."
Maybe my fear is the reason why I push myself and others so hard. It's the reason that I expect so much out of people. Unfortunately, it leads to many disappointments. Yet, on rare occasions, I get to enjoy the immense happiness that comes when one succeeds.
Lions, Tigers, and Bears?? ...oh my! But Failure, Regret, and Wastefulness....That's the scary stuff!
It's amazing how quickly new epiphanies come to me, especially when I'm teaching. But as I began to hear the student's responses to my fear question, this thought came to mind. Many students kept asking, "What's your greatest fear, Ms. Rigney?" My reply is this...
No, I don't like snakes, spiders, and other creepy, crawly insects or rodents. If there were one in the room, I may freak out and be very frightful. However, they are not my greatest fears. I don't live every day terrified that a bug or rat may be lurking around a dark corner awaiting me. I hardly ever think of them at all, as a matter of fact. So even though I'm fearful of them when they are present, they are not my greatest fear.
A great fear, to me, is something that haunts you almost daily. A fear that resides in your subconscious, ready to emerge at any moment. That fear in my life is the fear of failure, the fear of making the wrong decision and wasting my time, my energy, my life. Such a fear exists that I question myself on numerous occasions. I'm always searching for God's will, praying for God's will, and then praying again to make sure I heard right when God answered.
Where does this fear come from? It stems as far back as I can remember. Throughout my life I've seen numerous people give up and throw away talent. I know people who could have been someone, who could have done something prosperous with their lives, just walk away to nothingness. I've seen people chase what they thought was a bigger, better dream, to find out it was the worst nightmare. I've loved people who had the potential to do great things, to reach countless people, to really make a difference in other's life, possibly the world. Sadly, I've seen them walk away from it all for a little "sin for a season."
Maybe my fear is the reason why I push myself and others so hard. It's the reason that I expect so much out of people. Unfortunately, it leads to many disappointments. Yet, on rare occasions, I get to enjoy the immense happiness that comes when one succeeds.
Lions, Tigers, and Bears?? ...oh my! But Failure, Regret, and Wastefulness....That's the scary stuff!
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