To go or not to go...That is the question!
I think I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather not have options than have options. Of course, I only say that because I have options. If the situation was reversed, I'm sure I would rather have options.
What am I babbling about?? What to do next semester. I've written of the offer to go back to school next semester. Sounds great and wonderful. But let's not be fooled. It's going to be very hard work. Graduate school is much more time consuming than Undergraduate school, much tougher, more reading/writing, more thinking.
Plus Side of going back to Delta State--
I'll be going to graduate school with endless opportunities to meet new people, further my education, make major connections that could help later in life.
Everything will be paid for.
I don't have any other option for next semester as of yet except to go to Delta State.
I'll get paid more money in the long run for having a master degree.
I may decide that I like community development far better than teaching.
Negative side of going back to Delta State--
I'll probably be working my tail off doing school work, etc.
I'll probably be living on campus, and therefore only coming home on the weekends. That means only going to church on Sundays and not being able to be an active member of my church. That means goodbye leading drama team, helping with the youth group, etc.
I'll be committing myself back to school for 2 years, postponing teaching and a possible job offer.
Getting my life "settled" will also be postponed.
I may possibly miss out on a job offer in August to teach at my preferred school.
The thing about all of this is...I don't want to go back to Delta State right now; I want to teach. However, I feel like I can't possibly pass over an offer of this magnitude, especially considering the fact that I haven't gotten a job offer to teach yet. People tell me that I'm young, and I should go for it. However, I don't really know what I'm suppose to do.
Let's face it, my spiritual life has struggled (that's probably an understatement) in the past few months. However, despite the fact that I've questioned just about everything that could be questioned, doesn't mean that I still don't honor that fact that God has a special will for my life. And I guarantee you that I have NO idea what that will is. The biggest problem lies in the fact that I have to give Delta State an answer next week. My professor already emailed me yesterday asking me if I've made a decision.
Never in my life have I wanted to avoid making a decision as much as I do now. I refuse to even discuss it with anyone. It's off limits. Just reading the email from my professor made me sick to my stomach. So I had to write about it to officially get it out of my system, and hopefully one of you may hear from God and tell me what to do.......
What am I babbling about?? What to do next semester. I've written of the offer to go back to school next semester. Sounds great and wonderful. But let's not be fooled. It's going to be very hard work. Graduate school is much more time consuming than Undergraduate school, much tougher, more reading/writing, more thinking.
Plus Side of going back to Delta State--
I'll be going to graduate school with endless opportunities to meet new people, further my education, make major connections that could help later in life.
Everything will be paid for.
I don't have any other option for next semester as of yet except to go to Delta State.
I'll get paid more money in the long run for having a master degree.
I may decide that I like community development far better than teaching.
Negative side of going back to Delta State--
I'll probably be working my tail off doing school work, etc.
I'll probably be living on campus, and therefore only coming home on the weekends. That means only going to church on Sundays and not being able to be an active member of my church. That means goodbye leading drama team, helping with the youth group, etc.
I'll be committing myself back to school for 2 years, postponing teaching and a possible job offer.
Getting my life "settled" will also be postponed.
I may possibly miss out on a job offer in August to teach at my preferred school.
The thing about all of this is...I don't want to go back to Delta State right now; I want to teach. However, I feel like I can't possibly pass over an offer of this magnitude, especially considering the fact that I haven't gotten a job offer to teach yet. People tell me that I'm young, and I should go for it. However, I don't really know what I'm suppose to do.
Let's face it, my spiritual life has struggled (that's probably an understatement) in the past few months. However, despite the fact that I've questioned just about everything that could be questioned, doesn't mean that I still don't honor that fact that God has a special will for my life. And I guarantee you that I have NO idea what that will is. The biggest problem lies in the fact that I have to give Delta State an answer next week. My professor already emailed me yesterday asking me if I've made a decision.
Never in my life have I wanted to avoid making a decision as much as I do now. I refuse to even discuss it with anyone. It's off limits. Just reading the email from my professor made me sick to my stomach. So I had to write about it to officially get it out of my system, and hopefully one of you may hear from God and tell me what to do.......
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