The conversations went something like this...

Boy: Ms. Rigney, have you ever felt like you had to prove yourself to people?
Me: Sure. It's not such a great feeling, but sometimes you have to.
Boy: Well I'm having to do that, and I just don't know if I'm up for it.
Me: Well it's tough to have to prove yourself when people are waiting for you to fail. But it's always great when you can actually do it...prove yourself to them.
Boy: A lot of teachers here at school know that I use to act up and get in trouble. Now they all still give me a hard time and won't allow me to change.
Me: Well you've got to keep at it. Stay on the straight and narrow. Make good grades, stay out of trouble. Prove you are responsible.
Boy: I've started saving for college, but I know the only way I can afford it is to get a football scholarship. The coach won't give me a chance. I failed 9th grade last year, and I wasn't able to play ball. Now the coach is always on my case about other people are going to be playing ball and I'll never make it.
Me: I know it's hard not to give in to people like that. You can't mess up because then they'll say, "See I was right. He's not any good." You have to ignore those comments and push even harder to prove that you're different. You've grown up. If it makes any difference, I think you're a great guy and I believe in you. I think you can keep it up, and you can make it.
Boy: Thanks Ms. Rigney. I'm listening to you even though I can't look you in the eye right now. It's just too much.
Me: You know if you ever need me, I'm here.
Boy: Thanks.

Later in the day...

Me: God, you know I'll do whatever it is you want me to do.
God: Right, you say that. But you hardly ever talk to me or worship me anymore because you can't get over how some people in your life are acting and treating you.
Me: Wow, you're right. Sorry. I'm really going to do better this time. Of course, that's what I say every time.
God: It's ok. I believe in you. Just like you believe in boy. Remember, you just told him that a few hours ago. How much more should I believe and trust you to make the right choices.
Me: It's just hard. I'm not sure if I can handle it at times. I don't know if I have the strength to prove myself to everyone else.
God: Just stay on the straight and narrow. Prove to everyone you are responsible.
Me: Thanks, God. I am listening. It's just too much to take in right now.
God: That's ok. You know if you ever need me, I'm here.
Me: Thanks.

Comments

Jewel said…
Very good and thoughtful post, Kim. I read often.
3:27 PM
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