Need Vs. Want
"I'm not going to tell you I can't live without you. I can live without you....I just don't want to." -- Jennifer Aniston from Rumor Has It
I've always had an issue with being wanted rather than being needed. I guess it stems from the fact that I'm such an independent person. I've always been raised with parents who were doers. That makes me a doer. It's very rare that I actually call on someone to help me with much of anything. On the flip side, because I'm such a take charge kind of person, people often rely on me. People need me all the time.
I do like being needed. I like the fact that people feel they can rely on me and that I'm a dependable person. However, the fact that I'm needed all the time does wear me out. There are times where I don't want to be needed. I just want to be wanted. I know of certain situations that I've walked away from because I felt that everyone needed me, but no one really wanted me.
There is a huge difference between the two aspects. You can need someone to help you and not really want them there. For example, you get in trouble and you really don't want your parents to find out. You would rather drop off the face of the earth than call on them to bail you out. Unfortunately, you need them to come to your rescue although you would rather want anyone else to be there. Then there is that special person. You know that you could suck it up and live without them but deep down you just don't want to. I've had the dishonor of losing a guy. I've lived 5-6 years without him. I can do it; I've proved that. However there have been times that I really just wanted him there.
I guess that's what I'm looking for in a relationship. I'm needed by a lot of people. My students need me. The youth at my church need me. Lots of people need me. But what I need is someone to want me. I don't need to be the one to have to push and pull to make the relationship work. I don't need to be the one that makes all the effort. I need a guy who is madly in love with me, a guy who doesn't need me to complete his life yet he wants me to.
Casting Crowns sings a song in which some of the lyrics say "How refreshing to know you don't need me. How amazing to find that you want me." I guess that's what I'm looking for....
I've always had an issue with being wanted rather than being needed. I guess it stems from the fact that I'm such an independent person. I've always been raised with parents who were doers. That makes me a doer. It's very rare that I actually call on someone to help me with much of anything. On the flip side, because I'm such a take charge kind of person, people often rely on me. People need me all the time.
I do like being needed. I like the fact that people feel they can rely on me and that I'm a dependable person. However, the fact that I'm needed all the time does wear me out. There are times where I don't want to be needed. I just want to be wanted. I know of certain situations that I've walked away from because I felt that everyone needed me, but no one really wanted me.
There is a huge difference between the two aspects. You can need someone to help you and not really want them there. For example, you get in trouble and you really don't want your parents to find out. You would rather drop off the face of the earth than call on them to bail you out. Unfortunately, you need them to come to your rescue although you would rather want anyone else to be there. Then there is that special person. You know that you could suck it up and live without them but deep down you just don't want to. I've had the dishonor of losing a guy. I've lived 5-6 years without him. I can do it; I've proved that. However there have been times that I really just wanted him there.
I guess that's what I'm looking for in a relationship. I'm needed by a lot of people. My students need me. The youth at my church need me. Lots of people need me. But what I need is someone to want me. I don't need to be the one to have to push and pull to make the relationship work. I don't need to be the one that makes all the effort. I need a guy who is madly in love with me, a guy who doesn't need me to complete his life yet he wants me to.
Casting Crowns sings a song in which some of the lyrics say "How refreshing to know you don't need me. How amazing to find that you want me." I guess that's what I'm looking for....
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