I'm not discussing it...

I don't want to discuss it because I'm tired of discussing it. I don't want to be bothered by the fact that he called me. He hasn't bothered to call in well over a week. It's only because he saw me. I want him to think about me with out having to see me. I don't want him to call and complain to me about his bad luck with the boss after he's already called and complained to other people. I want him to come to me first or not at all.

But I can't be selfish and rude to someone who hasn't really been rude to me. So he can't give me what I want. That doesn't mean he's not trying to be the best he can. It's just not enough for me, but that doesn't make him a bad person. I want to be humble enough to be excited for his triumphs and pray for God's will in his life, even if it clashes with my personal plans.

In my defense, I told him a while back I was looking for something more than "just hanging out." I'm sure he doesn't remember that conversation, but it was said nonetheless. So I don't have to feel guilty for not wanting to be an option for him. I'm not going to pretend that we are such great friends when really we aren't that close.

But I don't want to discuss it...

Comments

snb-the glamourista said…
i'm not discussing it either! i'm also not advocating that you feel no guilt for griping about his passing up a good thing ;) stupid boys.
5:15 AM
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