You Might Be a School Employee If...

  1. YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick. 
  2. YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off. 
  3. YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered. 
  4. YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it going to rain, snow hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside. 
  5. YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card. 
  6. YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.' 
  7. YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior. 
  8. YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August and June. 
  9. YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce. 
  10. YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce. 
  11. YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.' 
  12. YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district. 
  13. YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form. 
  14. YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public. 
  15. YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?' 
  16. YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference. 
  17. YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter! 
  18. YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for this?' has ever come out of your mouth. 
  19. YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year! 

Comments

Jewel said…
Oh my word! These are hilarious! My husband transports troubled students to an out-of-district program each day and believe me, he knows when they've not taken their medicine! AND meeting the parents does kind of answer alot of questions! Whew! Thanks for this great post!
6:53 AM
dad said…
you must be that school employee.Big difference from what you thought it would be like to what it really is.MAY GOD BLESS YOU,cause the school board won't
7:27 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Hurt and The Healer...Collide!

So the other day I simply prayed "God, if you aren't going to restore this relationship, help me move on.  I'm ready to be through with this."  A few hours later I had an email from him saying "I'm moving on.  If you want to discuss this, we can, but after that I can't speak to you anymore.  I need to make some decisions with a clear conscious."  And that was it.  Couldn't get more final than that!  Maybe if the email had come a few days or a week later.  But no, there was no mistaking this answer from God.  "You asked for it...poof!"  And there it was...the answer to what I had been praying for since September.  I'm not sure what made me pray that prayer that way on that day.  I'm not sure what made God answer the prayer with an email that quickly.  But whatever the reason, there was no denying that it was God. And of course, it wasn't the answer I wanted.  It was infuriating.  Why now God?  Why answer this prayer now? 
Read more

The Next Chapter

My pastor decided to resign this morning. Instead of forcing anyone to vote yes or no against the ministry, he resigned. Those of us in support of his ministry left the Greenville United Pentecostal Church and are starting a new work, Grace Apostolic Fellowship. Our first service this morning was held at a local funeral home. After all the jokes about raising the dead, etc, we ended up having a great service with 97 people in attendance. We are believing God for a permanent home in the next 30 days. I am sad to leave UPC. That church was a haven to me during a hard time in my life. I wouldn't be the person I am today without many of the people there. Numerous people invested in me, and I am grateful. I will never forget the love, friendships, and lessons I learned while a member there. I will not belittle my past with bitterness and act as if it means nothing to me. There will always be fond memories. My leadership began at that church, and I do not take it for granted. There are
Read more

No Greater Love

There is a biological clock that ticks.  Sometimes it's so faint, I don't even hear it.  Other times, its tick-tock is more like a sonic boom in my ears, reminding me that my "best years" are quickly slipping by. There have been times where I thought the clock's ticking was meaningless because my life was headed in the right direction.  The good guy in my life would lead to a proposal, house, family...to taking my rightful place in society.  Or, I was applying for jobs in big cities where I could live the single life seen in the movies...just fun and friends! With the guys never seeming to pan out, I figured it was time to spread my wings and fly.  To become Miss Independent, far away from the small country life I have lived for so long.  And many, many people encouraged it.  There is no future here in Greenville, no real single friends my age, no possibilities for someone like me.  Then there were those that questioned, what are you going to do about "so
Read more