One Week Down...
...the rest of my life to go!
I'm patting myself and God on the back for a job well done. I've made it a week on my diet, and I've endured some hard decisions but made it out alive thanks to the good Lord's guidance.
I had a very important conversation with "The Ex" that should keep things going well. He admitted that due to circumstances he isn't interested in a relationship, and I'm glad to hear that he's realized that. We both agreed that we wanted to stay connected and friends and that if in the future, if things changed, we would be upfront. Neither of us are looking to play around with each other's emotions; we are both to old for that.
I was so relieved to hear him say that. I was on my guard because I knew with so much history it would be easy to fall back into something just because of emotions. However, I knew that wasn't what I really wanted. If I am ever to be with him, I want it to be because of who we are as people now, not what we were 8 years ago. If I'm honest, I don't know that I want who he is now as anything but a friend. But I definitely want him as a friend.
Then there was a situation about my going out of town over the weekend. I told God that the decision was His to make and that I would go along with whatever, but He had to let me know what to do. Well everything seemed to be a go, until Thursday night. Things got a bit complicated. I felt really uneasy about my decision to go, and so when I couldn't sleep at 4 AM, I decided I should just say no. I told God, "This is what I'm going to say. If I don't get this specific response, then I know you want me to stay home." Well, needless to say, I didn't get the response, I stayed home, and I felt like I made the right decision.
It didn't make the decision any easier to make. I still wanted to go out of town. I still wanted what I couldn't have. However, I know that deep down, what God wants is best for me. It's just hard to look at something that seems so good and know that you can't have it, and no other option is waiting for you. But regardless, I had a great weekend that was much more healthier for me than what was out of town.
Now comes the hard test....making it through the last week of school without stressing because of students' failures or the looming Yearbook deadline!
I'm patting myself and God on the back for a job well done. I've made it a week on my diet, and I've endured some hard decisions but made it out alive thanks to the good Lord's guidance.
I had a very important conversation with "The Ex" that should keep things going well. He admitted that due to circumstances he isn't interested in a relationship, and I'm glad to hear that he's realized that. We both agreed that we wanted to stay connected and friends and that if in the future, if things changed, we would be upfront. Neither of us are looking to play around with each other's emotions; we are both to old for that.
I was so relieved to hear him say that. I was on my guard because I knew with so much history it would be easy to fall back into something just because of emotions. However, I knew that wasn't what I really wanted. If I am ever to be with him, I want it to be because of who we are as people now, not what we were 8 years ago. If I'm honest, I don't know that I want who he is now as anything but a friend. But I definitely want him as a friend.
Then there was a situation about my going out of town over the weekend. I told God that the decision was His to make and that I would go along with whatever, but He had to let me know what to do. Well everything seemed to be a go, until Thursday night. Things got a bit complicated. I felt really uneasy about my decision to go, and so when I couldn't sleep at 4 AM, I decided I should just say no. I told God, "This is what I'm going to say. If I don't get this specific response, then I know you want me to stay home." Well, needless to say, I didn't get the response, I stayed home, and I felt like I made the right decision.
It didn't make the decision any easier to make. I still wanted to go out of town. I still wanted what I couldn't have. However, I know that deep down, what God wants is best for me. It's just hard to look at something that seems so good and know that you can't have it, and no other option is waiting for you. But regardless, I had a great weekend that was much more healthier for me than what was out of town.
Now comes the hard test....making it through the last week of school without stressing because of students' failures or the looming Yearbook deadline!
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