Originally Unoriginal

The following was written about me just a few days ago by someone who stumbled upon my blog. I must admit, it is a bit frightening how accurate it is! If you are interested, go and check out more of his writings -- allIhaveIstheseWords She loves God and she loves Jesus And she always tries to sport rosy glasses She’ll stand by for that guy, but why does it seem he won’t make it? They say good things come to those who wait But those good things don’t seem to wait for her She wonders late at night if the effort’s worth it Losing faith in man but not in the man above She wants what every girl wants and that’s just to be loved After disappointment from so many opportunities I’ll never forget one night what she said to me I want to feel alive I want a love that’s all mine I want vindication I want my sunrise Tomorrows are never ending Today is misery’s disguise I’m tired of waiting wondering why I’m leaving now to find my sunrise Unanswered calls and unanswered prayers Her world keeps spi...

I was looking for a scripture and came across this excellent version of Lamentations 3. It comes from The Message . I remember very well moments when I felt like I had hit rock bottom. What an excellent reminder to keep hope alive! I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like. I said to myself, "This is it. I'm finished. God is a lost cause." I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the wo...

It's been almost a year since I've written anything. Lately I've had a lot of people ask me about my blog, and even today I received an email from someone who had stumbled upon my blog. I started writing this as a creative outlet, and it turned into therapy for me. I never thought it would become anything anyone else would care about. Perhaps it was helpful to others. But despite it's original intentions, it was helpful to me, and it's been helpful to read all the CRAZINESS I've been through. Sometimes it's good to see how I've matured in the past 5 years, and then, how somethings never change. And so here I am, writing again. Sharing something that may help someone, but really just chronically another event in my life that I may want to remember in the years to come. I went on a cruise back in October, and I was determined to see a sunrise on the ocean horizon. So the last day of the cruise, I woke my mom up at 6:30, we threw on some clothes and wen...