On it's way...

Forgiveness is a funny thing. Sometimes it's so easy, while other times, it seems impossible. I know women that forgive men that hurt them or abuse them, but will hold a grudge against a girl-friend for years. Why do we do that? How do we hold on to certain things, and let other things go? There was once a guy who did tons of stupid things to me, yet I always seemed to find a way to forgive him. Perhaps it was just plain ole stupidity. Maybe, we easily forgive those that we are scared to lose. Perhaps we easily forgive those because we are scared not to forgive them. Either way, it seems pretty messed up.

I'm in a current situation, where I know I have to forgive, and for the most part, feel like I have. However, this forgiveness doesn't feel the same as usual. I can't seem to easily pass it off and embrace the ones I forgave. Quite the opposite, I want to stay far, far away from the entire situation.

Some may say it isn't true forgiveness; some may say I amjust being protective. But even though I said I have forgiven, I still felt nauseated just thinking about the situation. But today, as I was sitting in church, I looked at my phone and saw a post on Facebook. "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." Proverbs 17:9

If I want to walk in true love, then I have to truly forgive and no longer dwell on it. It's gonna take some time for the "dwelling" part to go away. It is going to take some willpower, but I feel confident that I can. I know that with God's help, I can do what seems impossible. I know that complete forgiveness is on the way.

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