Originally Unoriginal

So the other day I simply prayed "God, if you aren't going to restore this relationship, help me move on.  I'm ready to be through with this."  A few hours later I had an email from him saying "I'm moving on.  If you want to discuss this, we can, but after that I can't speak to you anymore.  I need to make some decisions with a clear conscious."  And that was it.  Couldn't get more final than that!  Maybe if the email had come a few days or a week later.  But no, there was no mistaking this answer from God.  "You asked for it...poof!"  And there it was...the answer to what I had been praying for since September.  I'm not sure what made me pray that prayer that way on that day.  I'm not sure what made God answer the prayer with an email that quickly.  But whatever the reason, there was no denying that it was God. And of course, it wasn't the answer I wanted.  It was infuriating.  Why now God?  Why answer ...

I think I have a twisted view of God.  But I'm not sure I can help it because it's the view I have of Him.  And our view of others is due to experiences and perspectives, and how can you change those? So the backstory....I've always been ok with Greenville.  I mean, I love to travel, and I know this town is kind of a dump, but I've always been satisfied here.  I've been content with being near my family, being involved in church, and having a good job.  But over the past few years, especially this year, I have become distant from the town and the things that use to make me feel content.  Now the thought of being here another year makes me want to curl up and cry. My job is frustrating, and the fulfillment I once had is quickly dying out. I won't lie, a big part of all this frustration is my dating life.  I've never had a lot of boyfriends, but I've always been so busy and had so many guy friends, that I was ok.  But then the past 2 years I've ...

I was afraid to give you my heart, Afraid you would break it in two. But I just couldn't help myself; I fell in love with you. And now you say it's over, That it's just not where you should be. But sitting on the ground Nothing but tears and ashes all around That's where you left me... I watched your things burn. Breathed in the smoke of the remains. The shirt from the trip to the beach, The letter you sent that one week, I watched it all just slip away. Now there's nothing left but a charred mess, Nothing in which to cling. I may have burned these things -- But I can't burn away the memories.