Originally Unoriginal

A friend of mine commented how much I've changed over the past year. He said besides the emotional peace I seem to have lately, there has been an outward change. He stated that I was taking time out for me, and it seemed to show. He's right. I have been having a ton of "me" time lately. Some of it has been fun: new clothes, new hair, new tan, even the new work-outs. But all the inward, emotional stuff has been down right difficult at times. It's not so easy to look at yourself and say, "You've got to change." It hurts to dig deep and expose light to the dark places of your soul. My recently discovered issue is that I don't trust myself, therefore, I don't trust others. As a result I keep my guard up with people as not to be disappointed when they don't live up to my expectations. My expectations of others are high because I expect too much out of myself. I'm hard on myself because I don't trust myself to just relax. I do...

It's been a very emotional week for me to say the least. Some things you just don't let out on to the blogosphere . This would be one of those times. Sorry. But you know that I have to at least beat around the bush to get it out of my system. I'm dealing with some issues, that I suppose I've kept suppressed for so long, I didn't even know they were issues until this week. But I'm a firm believer that you can deal with things now, or you can deal with them later. Regardless, you will have to deal with them. I'm choosing now. I've also realized that there are some things that just aren't going to happen. It doesn't matter how bad you want them to happen, and it doesn't matter how right you think it is. When you are operating on God's plan, your thoughts and opinions don't always amount to much. I threw in the towel this week, and even though I want to go pick it up so badly, I know it's not worth it. So, I'm starting o...