Today's Marriage Counseling Session!

Recently, I posted a list of 4 agreements that lead to a good marriage. One of the items was "In-Laws", so I wanted to share a little knowledge I gained from my College/Career Class that is previously centered around marriage and relationships.

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Sometimes what is NOT said is just as important as what IS said. So what does this scripture NOT say?? It doesn't say that a WOMAN must leave her mother and father! Very, very interesting. (This scripture is repeated 2 other times in the Bible, Matthew 19:5 & Mark 10:7, and it always says he not she.)

So 2 main problems exist in many marriages.
  • First, the husband does not LEAVE his father and mother and CLEAVE to his wife. I've seen many "mamma's Boys" who couldn't bear the thought of telling their Mother to butt out of their marriage. It always turns really, really ugly from what I've seen.
  • Second, the husband expects his wife to LEAVE her father and mother. Now, I don't believe that this scripture means physically leave so much as emotionally leave. Husbands often feel inadequate because wives will call and talk to their mothers everyday. Now of course there is a line that must be drawn with the wife also. The wife's mother can't run the marriage either; however, there is a special bond that shouldn't be broken between a mother and a daughter. A messy situation arises when the husband resents the wife for continuing this relationship with her mother. It's not Biblical to stop that relationship.

Now, as you should all know by now, I'm not married, nor have I ever been. However, I am a keen observer of other's lives and am also a confidante to some married couples. When in-laws are factored into a marriage, it can often times turn UGLY. I've seen parents from both sides, completely ruin marriages, and sadly most have ended in divorce or a bad rift in the family. So, I guess I would offer advice to all singles, including myself. The person you marry may not have the perfect family, and you may not even really like your in-laws. However, if that is the case, really examine your future spouse and make sure that he will be able to cut the ties and cleave to you. Men, don't expect to cut a woman off from her family, and don't become upset that your phone bill is a bit too high each month. God knows more than we do, and I'm sure that He knew exactly what He was doing when He had Moses write this scripture.

I would be ignorant to think that every person's situation is the same, but in most cases, the above scenario rings true. As I gain more knowledge about the area of marriage, I'll be sure to pass it on to all of you!

I'm Out!

Comments

Anonymous said…
You don't know me, but I ran across your blog, and you are SO RIGHT!!! I am now 27 and divorced because of this very problem. If I ever have a son, I want to raise him to understand that I will always love him, but he must put his wife and his family before me. Besides, I'm a firm believer that children are not ours to keep. God gives them to us for a little while to raise in His Will...then we all have to let go. Anyay, I'm rambling. But I just wanted to pop in and say, "Amen, Sister!"
2:17 PM
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