Venting Session

Please pardon my venting, but writing helps me clear my mind...

Joyce Meyer says that sometimes the present thing is the greatest enemy to what God has for your future. The problem with this...Is how do you know that the present thing is the enemy. Sometimes you know, but sometimes you don't. There's a certain situation in my life that keeps me confused as all get out. I've prayed so many times that God's will be done. The next day the situation will get better, then a few days later it's down the drain again. I'm constantly going back and forth in my mind trying to figure out if I should even waste my time with the whole ordeal.

I'm an over analyzer (if I haven't said that before), and it gets me in a lot of trouble. I was having some prayer time today while driving down the road in my car. I have a few scriptures on a note card on my dash board. They are all about trusting in God, waiting on him, and such. One says..."Lean not to thine own understanding..." There's my trouble right there. I'm trying to understand it, and I can't. So tonight I finally said, "Ok God, I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. I want to give up!" And I thought, "Is that what you want? Me to realize that I'm never going to understand the situation?? Is my need to understand hindering me from something?" I was waiting for God to come down in an audible voice and say "Yes, Kimmy (cuz sometimes God calls me that), You need to chill out and let me handle this. The more you try to figure it out, the worse I'm going to make it, just to see you squirm." Unfortunately, He didn't do that.

So I'm still sitting here, confused and a bit frustrated. But in all the mess, I'm believing that God is going to send me an answer, a definite one! God's not the author of confusion, I am. God has this all worked out, and in His perfect timing, He will reveal His plan. Now if He'll just tell me if I should go home for the weekend or not, I'd be doing ok.

**Sigh**Sometimes I think I'm hopeless...Thankfully, God doesn't feel that way...I hope....

Comments

chantell said…
Kim, girl, believe me, I totally feel that frustration right now. It's SO hard for me to not waste my brain cells trying to figure things out on my own all the while knowing in the back of my mind that it's futile because God has it all figured out. My favorite scripture of all time is Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for the good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." My paraphrase: It's all good.
12:48 AM
Anonymous said…
Kim you are going through alot of what I have been going through lately especially since losing Momma. It is not up to us to ask "Why?" but to say "What next?". Just do the best you can and remember no one is hopeless! As long as you can sleep at night and live with yourself and your actions then you know that God is guiding you and you are ok. Just Chill Girl. If you ever need me I am only a phone call or a computer key click away. Love Ya bunches!
-Your Favoritest Aunt in the Whole Wide World.
12:38 PM
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