Honesty from the Old Maid

In this week's installment of my leadership class, my pastor talked about seeing ourselves in honest light. Sometimes we see reflections of ourselves that aren't true because we are looking through mirrors that are distorted, reflecting an unhonest light. However when we look through a regular mirror, we see our true reflection. It is the same in life. People tell us who we are because they are seeing us through unhonest light. However, when God looks at us--He is the truth! We are seeing our true ourselves when we look through the eyes of Jesus.

Really, really good stuff there! That's why we should pray to have the mind of Christ and see people as Jesus sees them. So with all this honesty going around, I thought it would be best to just get real with God, myself, and why not the blogosphere! So to be completely predictable, I'm going to go with the topic that everyone assumes I'm "fronting" about anywayz, guys!

I dated a guy, who I thought was the love of my life. He tore my heart into a million pieces. He was everything I thought I could ever want in a guy. Even now, looking back, he has a lot of the qualities I want in a husband, except the fact that his spiritual life was non-existent.

As a result of that bad break up, I have a very guarded heart. I refuse to date anyone just to date them. When I start dating someone it will be because I could see myself possibly marrying that person. I refuse to let myself get hurt to that extent again.

So this all leads to my "I don't need a man" theology. I do not want some run of the mill guy. I don't need just any guy to date just for the sake of dating. I do not need a guy in my life to feel complete as a girl. I am just fine on my own.

Now, this does not mean that I wouldn't love to have a guy in my life. Sure, even Miss Independent would like to have someone call on a regular basis, take care of me, etc. But again, I'm not taking just anyone. I know that it has to be a special guy. If I'm comfortable with being by myself for the time being, then it doesn't matter if I'm being picky. It's my life, and I can be as darn pick about who I date as I want to be.

I know that God sanctified marriage and called it good, but there are several BIG people in the Bible that didn't get married: Jesus and Paul just to name a few. Wow, you can't get bigger ministries than that, and they didn't have less of a life because they weren't married. Now, I'm not saying that I'm never going to get married because I hope one day that I will. However, I do not plan on spending every waking minute of my life miserable because I'm not married. I have a career and a ministry that can last a lot longer than any human would.

I pray that God sends me a mate, someone just right for me because yes, I'll admit I do get lonely. Some days more than others. I have complete confidence that I'll know the right one when it happens. Until that time comes, I'm going to be happy and content living my single life. I'm sorry if that offends you or worries you that I'm becoming an old maid. If you have a problem with it, please take your complaint to Jesus.

To all those well meaning people out there who would love to see this "wild heart" broken, I really don't want to hear your questions or your prodding. I'm doing exactly what the Bible tells me to do, be content in whatever state I'm in. I'm seeking HIS kingdom first. I'm finding my delight in HIM!

"Love: the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" I have to agree with ole, Mark Twain. I want to be desired, I want to love. But I'm not giving that to or taking it from just anyone.