All Before 10:30 AM
It's Saturday, and I woke up at 6:00 AM. I threw on some sweats and headed out the door. I was hoping to hit a few garage sales and pick up some cheap furniture for my new apartment (Yeah, I'm moving out! I'll give you the details on everything later in the post.) However, being as it's not the first of the month, there were only a few sales, and they didn't offer anything I needed. So by 7:00 I was back at the house.
I thought about going back to bed, but I honestly wasn't sleepy. So, I headed to the computer and wrote some emails. My pastor sent a very cool Youtube video that he wants me to try and do, so I listened to it and copied down all the words. Then I sat on my bed and went through a short bible study about Love and read a chapter in a book my pastor gave me. I also burned a letter. (I said, I'll explain it all later.) After that, I headed to the Y and went 3.75 miles on the elliptical machine and did 100 crunches on the ab machine. And last but not least, I headed to the Grind to pick up a frappe'. Now here I am at exactly 10:30 AM blogging. I am impressed with myself!
So now for further explanation of things...
Yes I am moving out. My brother and I decided to rent an apartment together to help subsidize the costs. It was a really spur of the moment thing, and while things were wiping around so fast, I whispered out a "God let me know if this won't work...quickly because it's happening now." Everything has kinda fallen into place in less than a week! So on April 26th, I will be the resident of Apt. J-176.
To be honest, I can get pretty freaked out at any given moment thinking about all the things I need. I mean, what if I get sick in the middle of the night and I need some Pepto-Bismol? If I don't have any, then I'll have to ride over to mom's or to the store to get some. Then what if on my way, I throw up in my car? Then I need cleaner! So I'll need paper towels, and I'll need a garbage can that will need trash bags! Things add up! (As if my parents doesn't live 5 minutes across town!)
Along with the move, I'm on this new spiritual/emotional journey. Now that I've discovered my problem with performance-base relationships, I've got to correct it. I'm meeting with my pastor once a week, and we talk about my feelings and thoughts. He gives me certain assignments to do. For example, last week, He asked me to write a letter forgiving people that hurt me in my past. There were some things that I was subconsciously holding on to. So this morning I got a pot and some matches. I went outside and burned the letter, forever releasing the pain of the past. There is something very satisfying in watching the past being burned out of your life. One of my friends did the same thing and got some excellent pictures (shown below). I highly recommend it!
Also (this is especially for SNB), my pastor gave me a book. It's entitled The Secret Things of God. It's by a christian psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud. The book is the Christian alternative to Rhonda Byrne's The Secret. I've never read The Secret, but Dr. Cloud's book is really eye opening to some things in my life. One of the things I realized today is that you attract people that mesh well with your "sickness" (or your health if you don't have flaws like me). For example, if you are a rescuer, you tend to attract or be attracted to those who are dependent or need rescuing. I have a fear of rejection, so I tend to be attracted to those who are non-committal. That way I don't have to really be rejected because they never commit. Or because of my fear of rejection, I tend to attract those that are not as successful or that aren't quite together. Although I say I want someone who's got his act together, being in a guy's presence who knows what he wants and possibly even has it would probably scare me to death because I would be inferior.
That's all I've got for now....I'm gonna go see what else I can accomplish this morning.
I thought about going back to bed, but I honestly wasn't sleepy. So, I headed to the computer and wrote some emails. My pastor sent a very cool Youtube video that he wants me to try and do, so I listened to it and copied down all the words. Then I sat on my bed and went through a short bible study about Love and read a chapter in a book my pastor gave me. I also burned a letter. (I said, I'll explain it all later.) After that, I headed to the Y and went 3.75 miles on the elliptical machine and did 100 crunches on the ab machine. And last but not least, I headed to the Grind to pick up a frappe'. Now here I am at exactly 10:30 AM blogging. I am impressed with myself!
So now for further explanation of things...
Yes I am moving out. My brother and I decided to rent an apartment together to help subsidize the costs. It was a really spur of the moment thing, and while things were wiping around so fast, I whispered out a "God let me know if this won't work...quickly because it's happening now." Everything has kinda fallen into place in less than a week! So on April 26th, I will be the resident of Apt. J-176.
To be honest, I can get pretty freaked out at any given moment thinking about all the things I need. I mean, what if I get sick in the middle of the night and I need some Pepto-Bismol? If I don't have any, then I'll have to ride over to mom's or to the store to get some. Then what if on my way, I throw up in my car? Then I need cleaner! So I'll need paper towels, and I'll need a garbage can that will need trash bags! Things add up! (As if my parents doesn't live 5 minutes across town!)
Along with the move, I'm on this new spiritual/emotional journey. Now that I've discovered my problem with performance-base relationships, I've got to correct it. I'm meeting with my pastor once a week, and we talk about my feelings and thoughts. He gives me certain assignments to do. For example, last week, He asked me to write a letter forgiving people that hurt me in my past. There were some things that I was subconsciously holding on to. So this morning I got a pot and some matches. I went outside and burned the letter, forever releasing the pain of the past. There is something very satisfying in watching the past being burned out of your life. One of my friends did the same thing and got some excellent pictures (shown below). I highly recommend it!
Also (this is especially for SNB), my pastor gave me a book. It's entitled The Secret Things of God. It's by a christian psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud. The book is the Christian alternative to Rhonda Byrne's The Secret. I've never read The Secret, but Dr. Cloud's book is really eye opening to some things in my life. One of the things I realized today is that you attract people that mesh well with your "sickness" (or your health if you don't have flaws like me). For example, if you are a rescuer, you tend to attract or be attracted to those who are dependent or need rescuing. I have a fear of rejection, so I tend to be attracted to those who are non-committal. That way I don't have to really be rejected because they never commit. Or because of my fear of rejection, I tend to attract those that are not as successful or that aren't quite together. Although I say I want someone who's got his act together, being in a guy's presence who knows what he wants and possibly even has it would probably scare me to death because I would be inferior.
That's all I've got for now....I'm gonna go see what else I can accomplish this morning.
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