Have it Your way!

Tomorrow I will travel down a road I haven't been down in 4 months...literally.  I've wanted to go down it on several occasions.  Then for a little while, I wished the road would blow up offering no way to ever get to that point again.  But tomorrow, it will be the path for my journey.

I'm very hesitant about traveling down this road.  The last time I traveled on it, I was excited.  I knew where I was going and positive about the future.  I had it pretty much figured out.  But then plans changed....or just flat out disappeared.  I've wondered if plans changed because it wasn't meant to be or if God was trying to make me trust Him instead of my plans.

Now, I'm contemplating what the road will lead to this time.  Part of me hopes that nothing becomes of it because then I'll know it's all over and done with and possibly not experience anymore hurt.  But the other part of me desperately clings to the hope that, if even just for a few days, I find excitement and happiness despite the looming possibility of more hurt.  

I prayed today and simply said..."God this is what I want to happen, but if it's not what You want, then don't let me get my way because I know I'll be disappointed in the end."  I felt a bit like Jesus...."God I don't want to die; please let me live.  But if Your will is truly different, then have it your way."

I just don't want to always be alone....

Comments

chantell said…
omg, I'd be a millionaire if I could have a dime for every time I've prayed that prayer! lol. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little.

I'm TOTALLY feeling you on this. When I've been hurt, my brain starts thinking of the impossible scenario that "if I would have know that ___________, I would have never ___________." It's somewhat comforting for a while, but the fact of the matter is you can never know until after the fact.

Here's hoping! :-)
11:05 AM
snb-the glamourista said…
fingers crossed!!
5:38 PM
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