Who Let the Air out of My Balloon??

Mr. Amazing bought me a balloon (among other things) when he was here for my birthday this past August.  It was this huge balloon in the shape of a cupcake that said "Happy B-day" on it.  Surprisingly, the balloon has been sitting in the corner of my room since August still perfectly afloat.  It had a lost a little of it's air, but it was still perfectly upright.  I even made a comment about it to him via text yesterday saying that it was still up and had seemed to stick around longer than he did.  (For those of you wondering, he replied back "whatever." and I told him I was just kidding, although there was a lot of truth to the statement.)

When I left today for church, I assume it was still afloat.  Being that it's been here so long, I've actually never paid it too much attention.  However, this afternoon when I came home from church, the balloon was half way to the floor.  It immediately caught my eye.  I walked over to it and pleaded with it.  "Please don't die.  Float back up!"  I tried to force it back into the air but it fell right back to it's new lowly state.

Had I had the proper time, I think I would have sat down and cried.  I almost did shed a tear, but I quickly dismissed the thought because I had things to do.  But now, that I'm sitting here trying to prepare myself for an early bed time, I'm getting a bit nostalgic.  

I know that the balloon really has nothing to do with the length or brevity of mine and Mr. Amazing's relationship or whatever it was.  But it seems a bit symbolic...like the balloon was my sign to keep hanging on and maybe ole boy would come back around.  But now that the balloon has given up, I might as well too.  

I did see Mr. Amazing while I was in Hot Springs.  He was extremely nice and apologized several times for not keeping in touch.  But an apology is just an apology.  I'm sure he really is sorry.  But the key is he didn't and can't promise that it won't happen again.  He made no agreement that he would work on his lack of communication.  And I'm glad he didn't because I know it's a promise he can't keep.  He's just not at a place in his life where he can give me what I need.  It's not his fault, and it doesn't make him a bad person.  It just means it's the wrong time, and that's no one's fault.  It's just life.

So I'm gonna let the rest of the air leak out of the balloon, and I'm going to move on.  No more talk of Mr. Amazing unless he decides to give the balloon CPR.

Comments

chantell said…
I swear we have the same life sometimes. He's not a bad guy, but you just have to move on for you.
10:02 PM
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