Confession is Good for the Diet!
I've never been on a diet. (Thank you mom, dad, and God for my high metabolism.) But I would assume that when on a diet, like an AA member, it would be good to confess the "slips" you almost have. It seems healthy to get it out there. So here's the real truth about the ex boyfriend.
The Ex, as he will now be affectionately referred to, was the only guy I ever loved. Despite enough drama to make us the lead characters in a CW hit teenage show, I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. When it all ended, I spent the next 8 years convincing myself I was better off and becoming a total independent woman.
Then one morning I woke up to a generic friend request email from Facebook. The Ex has added me as a friend! WHAT? I haven't spoken to him in 7 years? How did he find me? Why? We exchanged a few pleasantries and that was all. Even though at the onset I freaked, I was able to go back to life as normal. He didn't want anything but another friend on his list apparently.
I was a bit relieved. I needed to go back to silence because I didn't want to drag up all the old feelings that were ready to pop up. But then out of the blue, a week and a half ago, he makes contact, and it lasts. He's calling and texting everyday, and whoops...there went that lid on those feelings!
People had asked before, "What would you do if Ex comes back?" I always replied, "That's not gonna happen. God knows I couldn't handle it. I'm not sure I could resist no matter how long it's been." And that wasn't a comment I made once. I made it numerous, numerous times. And here I was, right where I knew God would never put me. What in the world was happening?
Now, the Ex isn't perfect. I haven't forgotten the heartbreak I endured, and he's made some choices in life that I don't completely agree with. So don't think I've just thrown caution and common sense out the window. I've tried to stay level headed. I've promised myself that I would make no contact unless he initiated first, and if he wanted to see me again in person, it would be him making the trip. But I'm being honest here, and I was really liking the fact that he did call, text, or chat via Facebook every day. I felt like he was trying to make a connection, even though things were only hinted at and never actually stated. Regardless, my brain was going a million directions at once, and I needed serious peace over the situation. There was way too much going in my life to be dealing with something that was only going to bring me more trouble.
So I got serious with God and myself. I decided it was time to give it all to God. It was time for my diet. And since that moment, I haven't heard a word from the Ex. And I must admit, I'm a bit miffed. Is God really putting a stop to it. Because, well I've prayed for guys to go away before and that never really happened. So is this it God? Is it really never gonna work with me and the Ex? If not, why did he even have to make contact in the first place? I know that what God has planned is best, but part of me was really hoping all the searching was over. I was rooting for the Ex.
But as I've come to learn (especially this season on American Idol) the guy I root for isn't always the winner. So I'm taking each day at a time and stifling the urge to take it all back in my hands!
The Ex, as he will now be affectionately referred to, was the only guy I ever loved. Despite enough drama to make us the lead characters in a CW hit teenage show, I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. When it all ended, I spent the next 8 years convincing myself I was better off and becoming a total independent woman.
Then one morning I woke up to a generic friend request email from Facebook. The Ex has added me as a friend! WHAT? I haven't spoken to him in 7 years? How did he find me? Why? We exchanged a few pleasantries and that was all. Even though at the onset I freaked, I was able to go back to life as normal. He didn't want anything but another friend on his list apparently.
I was a bit relieved. I needed to go back to silence because I didn't want to drag up all the old feelings that were ready to pop up. But then out of the blue, a week and a half ago, he makes contact, and it lasts. He's calling and texting everyday, and whoops...there went that lid on those feelings!
People had asked before, "What would you do if Ex comes back?" I always replied, "That's not gonna happen. God knows I couldn't handle it. I'm not sure I could resist no matter how long it's been." And that wasn't a comment I made once. I made it numerous, numerous times. And here I was, right where I knew God would never put me. What in the world was happening?
Now, the Ex isn't perfect. I haven't forgotten the heartbreak I endured, and he's made some choices in life that I don't completely agree with. So don't think I've just thrown caution and common sense out the window. I've tried to stay level headed. I've promised myself that I would make no contact unless he initiated first, and if he wanted to see me again in person, it would be him making the trip. But I'm being honest here, and I was really liking the fact that he did call, text, or chat via Facebook every day. I felt like he was trying to make a connection, even though things were only hinted at and never actually stated. Regardless, my brain was going a million directions at once, and I needed serious peace over the situation. There was way too much going in my life to be dealing with something that was only going to bring me more trouble.
So I got serious with God and myself. I decided it was time to give it all to God. It was time for my diet. And since that moment, I haven't heard a word from the Ex. And I must admit, I'm a bit miffed. Is God really putting a stop to it. Because, well I've prayed for guys to go away before and that never really happened. So is this it God? Is it really never gonna work with me and the Ex? If not, why did he even have to make contact in the first place? I know that what God has planned is best, but part of me was really hoping all the searching was over. I was rooting for the Ex.
But as I've come to learn (especially this season on American Idol) the guy I root for isn't always the winner. So I'm taking each day at a time and stifling the urge to take it all back in my hands!
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