When it rains...

....better build an Ark!  It's been raining here literally and figuratively for the past, say, 3 weeks.  Today was the first Saturday of sun since I can remember.  Maybe this means that the downpour of all the thoughts in my head will have a little break too.  

Why is that everything can be going fine, and then all of a sudden, it all falls on top of you?  It's like everyone waits to drop their emotional trash all at the same time.  It's like I don't know which way is up sometimes.  The thing is no matter how much I analyze and run things over in my mind, I'm not going to be able to change anything.  What is suppose to happen will happen, right?  

I don't even know where to begin with it all.  I don't want to process any of it.  I want it all to go away, but I'm afraid if it all goes away, I'll be left with nothing.  So perhaps it's all my fault for not just saying "I can't take the drama."  But to tell everyone to leave me alone, well that just seems weak.  I'm not dying.  I'm not staring cancer in the face like many.  I'm blessed.  I'm healthy.  I have a good family and a job.  So I feel guilty for feeling this way.  I feel guilty for complaining.  But in my own little world, the rain has brought on a flash flood and I can barely keep my head above water!

Comments

dad said…
Get your life preserver, it's in the box marked JESUS.Put it on and hold tight.
7:35 AM
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