Originally Unoriginal

You should know by now that if I've avoided the blogosphere for too long, it means 1 or 2 things: My life is so busy that I don't have time to write. I am dealing with so many thoughts that I refuse to sit down and write because I don't want to deal with them. This time, its a mixture of the two. I'm taking a night class this semester to prepare for a 3 part test.  I have to take this test to be certified to teach a computer class next semester.  The kicker is, our district won't know if we'll even be able to offer the class until April, but I have to take all this training just in case it all works out.  Of course, when you ask for details, no one seems to know anything.  I've gotten so many different answers that it's left me a bit stressed.  I like to know what is expected of me, and everything is so up in the air that it's driving me crazy. I've also applied to Graduate School.  I planned on starting this summer, but the fellowship I'm ap...

There have been times where I've sat down at my computer, blogged my heart out, and walked away feeling 100% better.  Many times my problems have been solved staring at this blogger screen.  However, I've found that sometimes, no matter how much I dissect and discuss, the situation doesn't make sense and doesn't get better.  So I come back time and time again to write it all out and see if the therapy works.   Tonight, I find it doesn't. Life is hard....and it only gets harder.  Just when you think you have it all figured out, and you know your purpose, things get cloudy.  I guess in my naive youth I thought after college I would have it all figured out, and for a while, I suppose I did.  Then suddenly, here I am out of college, with a career, and still as clueless as ever as to what I want out of life. I guess what scares me is will I ever be satisfied? Will I ever finally get it all figured out and be happy with it?  Will I feel the need to change, to move, to rei...

I am full.  I am complete.  I'm not sure I've felt that way in a long time.  Something has always been missing.  Oh, I've been happy and peaceful, but never this complete because I've never understood the magnitude of love. I have friends and family.  I have people in my life that I know love me and would do anything and everything they could for me.  I have people that care about me spiritually and physically.  I have people that aren't worried about me making mistakes.  They are there to pull me up if it happens though.  I have friends that love me for me, not for what I can do for them.  There is a guy out there who likes me.  He may not be perfect, but neither am I.  The situation may not be completely ideal, but is it ever?  And he may not end up being "the one", but it sure is fun spending time with him!  He thinks I'm cute, and he texts me goodnight every night, no matter how late it is.  I also have a God who loves me unconditionally.  He has n...

School started back today. I'm exhausted from having to wake up early and from sitting in meaningless meetings all day. I tried to grab a power nap but text messages and phone calls ended that. I gave up hope because I didn't have too much time left. A friend from High School was in town so he took me to dinner and a movie. We had a great time and actually ran into 2 other friends from High School. One guy we saw took one look at me and called out " Kimbo !" my nickname from school. He kept going on about how it had been so long since we'd seen each other. We are both still living in town, and it's a small town, but we never have run into one another. The night was fun, catching up with old friends. For those of you interested, I have in fact talked to Mr. Amazing via phone or text messaging every day. He's always very sweet and still says he's trying to come visit before school starts back for him in a few weeks. I'm trying to take eve...