Ready, Willing, and Able

I'm ready now, and it's not here, and I'm going to get impatient soon. I don't like to be impatient; I don't like to lose control. I have no choice but to wait, and I definitely have no control.

I haven't dated anyone in almost 6 years, and it hasn't been a big deal at all. I've had a few minor crushes, but nothing that was too time consuming. It was ok. I've been too busy going to college, getting a job, and planing my life that a guy in the picture was the least of my thoughts.

Now here I am 6 years later, out of college with a good job. I've just purchased a new car; I'll be getting my braces off in December (God willing). With that, everything going on in my life will come to a screeching halt. I'm loving my job and I'm working in my church. There's not much more I can do to make my life settled.

And now that I'm settled...I'm ready. I'm ready to date. I'm ready for a guy to occupy my time. And now that I'm ready, there is no one. At least there is no one of high enough standards, and trust me, I don't mean that in a picky way. There has only been 2 offers from guys that are of legal age: one is 45 and a mystical massage therapist. He doesn't even believe in God. Then there is the guy who's divorce just became final and has 2 kids.

This afternoon I was sitting on the couch watching a TV show, and the feeling of being in love came over me. I had butterflies in my stomach and everything. Then tonight out of nowhere I had the biggest urge to be held. I don't know what to do with these feelings because I've had them suppressed for so long. I haven't had the time to think of them, and lately it's all I can seem to think about.

It's frustrating to have these feelings and know there is no outlet for them. It's really not fair, and I realize that I'm not the only one going through this exact things, but it's still not fair for any of us. What's worse is I'm not the kind of girl to impose myself on a guy. It's not like I can just walk up to a guy and have my needs meet. I also realize that one day I'll meet the man of my dreams and say that he was worth waiting on. But why can't he come right now, so I don't have to wait??

Comments

Anonymous said…
Take two aleves and it will alleviate the situation. Calm down don't get out of control.Mr. right is on the way, he is broke and had to take a slow boat from China.Please send me my $20.00 for this consolation.
6:48 AM
snb-the glamourista said…
oh my. you do realize by having all your ducks in a row you are COMPLETELY intimidating to guys? they like to be needed, but look at you, miss thang, with everything in order!! funny how bettering yourself actually makes the dating pool smaller. i feel your pain.
8:20 AM
chantell said…
Being there. Doing that. ;-)
7:24 PM
Kim said…
Ok this "intimidation" word has been coming up a lot lately?

I understand the concept, and why guys are touchy about that, but if they would take the time, they would realize that just because I have some things in order doesn't mean there aren't things I need....

BUH!
8:19 PM
'b' said…
you ARE intimidating, miss future trophy wife.

you listed all the things that you have "in order", and that's exactly what lots o' guys find so danged intimidating.

'course, its exactly what the right guy will see as every reason why he shouldn't run away.
9:11 PM
Kim said…
I guess that's one more of the differences between men and women. I am looking for someone who is in order or at least attempting to get in order. That's a huge plus to me.

**sigh**

Ok, I'm a messs, I don't know what I want to do with my life, I hate my job, and I'm fixing to sell my car? Is that better??
8:42 AM
'b' said…
put that up on a billboard, and you'll have fellas poundin' down the door.
8:08 AM
chantell said…
I'm loving the back and forth banter, kim and b.

People have said that "intimidation" thing about me too. And although at first the thought is a little disheartening, in the end, I see the supposed "intimidation" factor as an aid to help weed out those who aren't worth it.

I like what b said. The right guy will see those "intimidating" things as every reason to stick it out.
2:35 PM
snb-the glamourista said…
kim, i'm getting that saying put on a shirt. and i'm adding "i'm emotionally unstable, needy and i need to be rescued". i should be engaged by christmas, wouldn't you say??
4:40 PM
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