Originally Unoriginal

One day I opened up my inbox to an interesting email. A woman named Kaycee Jane (I love that name by the way) had written a book and asked if I would ready it and do a review on my blog. Well being the reader that I am, and seeing as the book's topic is definitely an interest of mine, I happily agreed. I am a bit sorry that it has taken me so long to actually do what I promised, but as all of you readers have already realized, I'm also better late than never with my work! Frog or Prince? The Smart Girl's Guide to Boyfriends by Kaycee Jane! This book presents a very systematic way of analyzing the current guy you are with to see if he's a Frog or a Prince. Simple as that! There are charts, check lists, and quizzes to help you discover whether the "issues" you are having with your significant other are things you can compromise on or whether they are deal breakers. Obviously, many things discussed in this book are no brainers . Girls, we know that if...

That's the question I've been asking myself the past 2 days. My conclusion...pretty jacked up! So last week I met a guy at my cousin's wedding. I know his family, was introduced to him, and had a great time chatting it up and dancing the night away. We're talking about a good looking guy that's really got his act together. He owns his own business plus has another job, building his own house, never been married, no kids. A stand up guy here. He doesn't drink, goes to church every Sunday, and educated. He sounds like everything I've been looking for. Did I mention that he lives here so it wouldn't be a long distance thing? I could go on and on...opens the door for me, orders for me, gets me a drink just because I look thirsty, throws away my trash. So my question is, why in the world am I looking for something to be wrong ?? I am nit-picking everything to death. Most of the things that I am not a fan of are such small things like...he's got...

My pastor bought me a cute, abridged version of "He's Just Not That Into You" while he and his wife were on vacation. It took me perhaps 20 minutes to go through it. I laughed, I cringed, and I sadly nodded my head in agreement on several occasions. I read a few excepts out loud at lunch and my father said, "Why are you reading that? You already know all of it. You could write your own version." To which I had to reply, "I know that's what's sad. I know it, all women know it, and somebody made millions and even had it turned into a movie!" What is it about us that we can know it for everyone else, but when it comes to ourselves, we can't see it? But not to put all the blame on us, although girls should probably take most of the responsibility , why can't guys just say it? One excerpt read "A man would rather be trampled by elephants that are on fire than tell you he's just not that into you." Why can't they ju...

How do you find balance in relationships?  How do you know when to invest your time and emotions and when you need to step back and guard your heart?  I realize that nothing is certain and there are always risks, but when do you know it's ok to let go and take a risk? Obviously I can't go through life unwilling to invest in others, unwilling to give too much, at the risk of being hurt.  However, I can't go around throwing my emotions, time, and energy to any and everyone. I suppose I'm waiting for an official "wanna go steady with me?" question, but that's a question that may never come.  (And yeah I know no one says that anymore, but it sure would make things easier.) What I have to realize is this is what I got...nothing more, but fortunately, nothing less.  Is it ok for me to start investing in this regardless of an official commitment ? It's not like I'm missing out on something great by waiting around.  There is nothing else.  I can't s...

For the past 5-6 years I've slept on 2 mattresses. I wanted my bed to be soft and cushy so that I just sunk into it. That was all good, but now, my back hurts. Guess my age is catching up with me. Anyways, I asked for a box springs mattress for Christmas. For unimportant reasons, I got the box springs today. I laid on the bed, and it was hard and well, felt like a regular bed. Guess that's how I've been living my life for a while. I wanted everything to be soft and cushy and fun and youthful. But life is catching up with me, and grown up life is plain and hard at times. I'm realizing that it doesn't matter that I still feel like I'm 16; I'm not. I'm an adult, and I have to play by adult rules. I don't get a free pass from bills or dumb bosses or stupid guys because I don't look my age. This isn't a fuss or a pity party. I'm not crying about the situation. I'm just waking up to reality and pulling up my big girl pantie...

My brother invited a few people over last night to watch the Kimbo Slice fight .  I'm not a follower of UFC or MMA , but when I catch it on or see it live, I do find it interesting.  There has been huge publicity about Kimbo especially because of his YouTube fights, and so I decided to stay up and catch the fight with everyone else.   Kimbo's fight was the main event so we had to watch the other 2 hours of non-important people fight first.  My eyes were getting heavy but I had made it this long.  I had to see the action.   2 hours for 14 seconds!  Yep, Kimbo got his tail kicked in 14 seconds.  Might I add that it was by some no name guy who was smaller than Kimbo and was picked last minute to fight him when his original opponent Shamrock was ineligible because of a cut over his eye. Like I said, I don't know a lot about MMA fighting, but because Kimbo didn't even FIGHT BACK...the match was called and some Steve guy won by TKO.  Couldn't believe it.   Kimbo ...

Here's the truth. Straight from my heart, and I may regret spilling it all out on the blogosphere tomorrow, but tonight it's driving me crazy. When it comes to relationships, good things don't happen to me. I have hilarious, one-of-a-kind stories about all the bad things that can happen. I can tell you of stalkers from every walk of life. I can tell you about Gerber daises and tulips being delivered from unwanted suitors. I can tell you about random conversations that would make you die from laughter. I can make you gag from the thought of certain guys throwing me a line. That's my life. For the past 6-7 years, my life has been unstable in the relationship category. The only thing I knew for a fact was there was no certainty. Each time I found myself possibly interested, it didn't work out. Sometimes I figured that out quickly, and other times it took me years of hanging on to much of nothing. I've come to accept it. I walked away from trying to f...

I apologize for the lack of posts. I was out of town visiting friends and didn't have time to write anything. I'm leaving later today or Monday morning for a few days on the beach, so this week will be slim with stories as well. I am sorry. But...I have a great excuse! I met the cutest, most wonderful guy in the whole entire world a few days ago. It was like a movie or country song the way it all happened. I'm not exactly sure what's going to become of it. I'm trying my hardest to stay grounded and not just float all the way to cloud 9. Pray I won't become a total sap!

Today I had a huge ego boost. I had an all too brief encounter with someone today who afterwards had very nice things to say about me. It was said that I was "beautiful, talented, and way out of his league." I don't know if anyone has ever said that about me, and it made me feel very honored and girly . (I'm sure I'm not way out of his league though.) This guy also went on to say that when he is ready to settle down and have a serious relationship, he wanted a woman who wanted to be pursued and who doesn't need him for her own identity. He felt like I was the type of girl he would be interested in. He also added that the act of developing a relationship was lost on our generation. I was sure this type of guy was extinct. I thought maybe he was a myth like Santa Claus or the talking M&M guys, but I did shake hands this morning with a real live one! (I must interject also ladies that the guy was attractive, working on his master's, and loved the...

so apparently I sent the text message to the wrong number and not to the right person. Now I'm thinking if I didn't do it right maybe it was not meant to be sent??

I avoided him for 5 whole days. Then I went out to eat with friends and he was there. Then I said yes when he asked if I wanted to go get yogurt afterwards. I should have said no. Two hours later, I'm getting back in my car wondering what that whole conversation was about. Was he trying to show me what he needed out of me or was he informing me that I could never give him what he needed. Then he texted . I shouldn't have replied but I did. Then he showed up at the softball game. Then he was at my friend's house. I should have stayed home. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't the way I wanted to have the conversation but I couldn't avoid it any longer. I apologized for being snippy towards him earlier today but that nothing he did made sense to me and I used it as a defense mechanism. I also told him that he needed to decide what exactly it was he wanted from me and until then we didn't need to hang out. Of course, I texted all this b...

I've been extremely misleading to my readers about the guy I've been avoiding. He's not a jerk. He's probably one of the best guys I know. He simply is terrified of commitment or perhaps he just doesn't want commitment with me. I get frustrated with him for no reason usually. It's not as if I am as up front with him as I should be. Yes, he's said we should "hang out" and see where it goes. Yes he has given indications that perhaps he'd like to be more than friends, but I've never pressured him to give me a straight up answer. Anytime I do bring it up in the most remote way, he avoids the conversation. Then he acts as if nothing was ever said. That annoys me, but again, I don't really say anything about it. Why? Because I'd rather have him to complain about than to pressure him, he admit he never wants anything besides a friendship with me, and I lose him altogether. So technically I'm probably more messed up than he ...

So I've gone from avoiding to just throwing in the towel. I deleted his number from my cell. Of course I recognize it when he texts, but I don't remember it well enough to dial it in. That keeps me from texting him and asking him to go catch a movie. It means that any contact will have to be initiated by him. I just hope that this time I have enough will power not to add his number back in when he gives me that "I'm trying" line. I pray this time I'll be able to lay it all down on the line if need be. I just get so frustrated. If he's not the person God wants me to be with, then fine. I'm cool with that. I believe that God has a perfect will for my life and that includes a specific person. I could be with anyone and be in God's permissive will. But I want it to be perfect. And if he's not it, then fine! But why can't he go away??

School is out for the summer! However, I've still got a ton of work to do, just of a different kind. There are somethings that I've got to work on this summer. I'm still working on improving me. I want to start cooking. I want to work out even more. I want to work on keeping my apartment clean. I also want to work on my Bible Studies. I want to get to know God even more. I want to draw even closer to Him than I am now. But right now, I want to stop making this guy such a priority in my life when obviously I'm just an option for him. I want to stop hanging on to his good intentions. I want to wipe away all the "could be's" and deal with reality. It doesn't matter how much he loves God and how much good he wants to do. He can think I'm the greatest person in the world, but if he doesn't want me, then none of that matters. It's time to suck it all up and put it all on the line. We can be friends, but we can't go out on date...

I'm still working on some things....like lowering my expectations of others. You said you wanted to hang out and see where it progressed. I was cool with that. I didn't even mind being the one to initiate the hanging out. I thought things were improving, drastically. You were the one that "missed me." You were the one that "was trying." I realize that you are a great person, but you suck at relationships. And I realize that this isn't a steady relationship but whatever it is...it sucks. I'm trying to be patient because love is patient, and I know that you have issues. But "Made of Honor" is a movie! I'm not waiting around for you for 10 years to get your act together. So why did I expect any more from you? Why did I get my hopes up?

I chaperoned prom Friday night. I couldn't help but smile when I looked at all the kids laughing and dancing. Although it was just a few years that I was at my high school prom, still the day seems so far away. I remember being just like those students thinking that I had reached the pinnacle of my life for the moment. And now looking back, it's nothing more than a vague memory. I left the prom and headed to a friend's house. Her children attend the school where I teach, so I helped her and other parents prepare breakfast for all the kids. About 3:00 AM, 50 plus students arrived. Some were drunk, some were fighting with their boyfriends, one was even sobbing, but overall they seemed to have fun. And they all made it home safely! I got to bed about 5:30 Saturday morning. I still have yet to recover from the lack of sleep. I saw a guy I graduated high school with Saturday afternoon. We briefly caught up with the latest on who's gotten married and who moved whe...

So I finally texted messaged the guy to thank him for the flowers . I had "forgotten" his note at school yesterday in which he had left me his number, so I couldn't contact him until today. Seeing as that I don't know this guy's last name (sounds like a country song, huh?) and I've only talked to him 2 times in my life and wouldn't be able to even accurately call him out of a line-up, I figured texting was a safe bet. I mean, I wanted to be nice, but I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. My text was simple "Hey this is Kim. Just wanted to say thanks for the flowers, that was really nice." 3 hours later he replies. "A Text? Well, Anyway, You're welcome." WHAT!?? Did you just act as if I owed you more than a text?? I didn't ask for the flowers! Heck, I don't even know you! You should be glad I even bothered to send your half-gay self a text! But actually, it kinda worked out nicely because his rudene...

So maybe avoiding you for a few weeks made you realize that you miss me. I expected that. What I didn't expect you to say "I ain't playing no more. I'm trying to be serious now. You know how I am, but I'm trying." I don't know how to take that. I mean, I'm glad. I've wanted you to say that for a while now, but what does that mean exactly? Does that mean you want to take it slow, does that mean you want us to be together? Or is that something you just said and will forget about next week. And if I knew at the end of the night you were going to say that, then I would have been more honest instead of aloof. I couldn't open up thinking this is going to be the same as last time: me saying a bunch of stuff and you acting as if I never said anything. And now this other guy is wanting my number, and I'm not really interested in him, but I figure I could give him a chance if there is no chance for us. Because I can't sit around and wai...

God I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I totally see what you were keeping me from. I am so glad that didn't work out with him. Yeah, yeah...I know....You're always right. Also, I set myself up for this new development, didn't I. I was just trying to be friendly and nice, and I was feeling a bit vulnerable when I said yes. I mean, he's a nice guy. But I don't want him to want to kiss me. I don't want someone to like me if I don't reciprocate that. I know the feeling, and it's not one I'm fond of. I should definitely follow the golden rule and do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? Ok, got it! And really, God, haven't you and Gabriel had enough laughs on account of my love life? Isn't it getting old? Yes, sir, I realize that time is irrelevant to you. Yes sir, I realize that nothing grows old in heaven. Ok then, laugh all you wish.... Seriously, I realize that ole boy needs my encouragement, but couldn't I swing him ov...

This is not a pity-party. This is simple a statement of where I am and why I feel the way I feel. I am not depressed, but I am not really satisfied, and that's perfectly ok. I'm a 24 year old single female. I still live at home with my parents. I don't have a husband or kids. I don't have a boyfriend. I have myself. I have my car. I have my iPhone. I realize that paying rent for an apartment would be ridiculous considering that I don't spend that much time at home. Yet sometimes I just wish I had my own place. I love my job, but sometimes I wonder if it's really what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to be the 40 year old teacher that's still single and still in the same place because she was too afraid to strike out on her own. I am great friends with one of the best guys around. But for whatever reasons, we aren't anything more than friends. That really bothers me at times, and then at other times I don't feel like...