Originally Unoriginal

A tiny light has busted through the cracks of my financial cave. I made an offer to a friend today, not expecting anything in return.  I was simply just trying to do a good deed and help her out.  She offered to pay me a little for my efforts.  So not only is she getting helped out but she'll be helping me out by giving me a little cash once a week.  It's not a fortune but every little bit helps! It's not that I don't think God will come through, I just stress on how long it takes him to get there. Although His time is perfect, He can still make a girl sweat.

I'm broke.  Really, really broke.  Like I only have $7.00 left of October's paycheck.  Yep, I've already paid bills and have just a little more than a dollar a week to last me to November.  Then in November I have to pay my car insurance.  I don't have any money to pay the car insurance. Thank God I have my parents who can loan me the money until I can come up with it.  I need a part-time job.  I need a couple of more hours a day in which to have this part-time job.  I've got to do something... As if being poor wasn't enough worry, I'm beginning to think I'll never see Mr. Amazing again.  He's swamped with school and I'm swamped with all the things I do.  The weekends I have free, he has to study.  The weeks he has free, I have school stuff or weddings or whatever.  :(  Plus neither of us have a lot of money in which to travel with and spend on dates.  Text messages and phone calls are just not enough at times. So I'm money-less and boy-less ...

Many times I wonder, if we could see through God's eyes, how amazed we would be at the stupidity of our "Christian" efforts.  I think we would laugh at our attempts to do right and be who we think we are suppose to be.   At times we might even be embarrassed of how far off we are from the mark. Not that being Christ like is unattainable or too lofty a goal.  No, I think we would find that we make it much more complicated than it was intended to be.   Please don't think I'm making light of a relationship with the Lord or saying that it's the easiest thing in the world to do.  It takes dedication and commitment of course.  But it's so simple to have a relationship with God that anyone can do it.  It has to be because everyone is entitled to it. Everyone is capable of it, yet many just choose not to accept it. Perhaps we are partly to blame for them not accepting God's love.  Perhaps we make it seem too hard.  Perhaps we make them think they are not worth...

I am full.  I am complete.  I'm not sure I've felt that way in a long time.  Something has always been missing.  Oh, I've been happy and peaceful, but never this complete because I've never understood the magnitude of love. I have friends and family.  I have people in my life that I know love me and would do anything and everything they could for me.  I have people that care about me spiritually and physically.  I have people that aren't worried about me making mistakes.  They are there to pull me up if it happens though.  I have friends that love me for me, not for what I can do for them.  There is a guy out there who likes me.  He may not be perfect, but neither am I.  The situation may not be completely ideal, but is it ever?  And he may not end up being "the one", but it sure is fun spending time with him!  He thinks I'm cute, and he texts me goodnight every night, no matter how late it is.  I also have a God who loves me unconditionally.  He has n...

This sign was hanging outside the local coffee shop. I want it to be the theme of my heart.

I'm not sure where this post is going. I have several things floating around my head. Maybe it will become several posts, or maybe it will be just one long one. Most of this stuff will be excerpts from The Shack and my thoughts about the quotes. Some things will just be my rants... A brief background of The Shack: This man named Mack gets a letter from God to visit him at The Shack. The Shack is a very emotional scarring place for Mack and here he meets the Trinity. God (Papa) reveals himself as a black woman, Jesus is a Hebrew carpenter, and the Holy Spirit is an Asian woman. (Don't freak out or judge unless you read the book.) "How can you really know how I feel?" Mack asked, looking back into her eyes. Papa didn't answer, only looked down at their hands. his gaze followed hers and for the first time Mack noticed the scars in her wrists, like those he now assumed Jesus also had on his. She allowed him to tenderly touch the scars, outlines of a deep piercing, an...

He tickled her and tossed her back towards the bed.  They began to playfully wrestle, and next thing she knew, she was hanging off the edge of the bed. "Don't push me off."  She seemed to plead in between laughs. "Why?  You scared?"  He teased, pushing her again towards the ledge. "Matthew!"  she screamed his name out a little loudly, this time startling even him. "Woe...you really are afraid of falling, huh?"  he grabbed her firmly saving her from any tumble towards the ground. The words resounded in her ears.  She was terrified of falling....both physically and figuratively. What if there was no one to catch her?  What if it hurt?  What if she was scarred beyond recognition from the fall?  What if nothing was able to put her back together? Yes, she really was afraid of falling, not so much from the bed, but from this high place that she had set her heart, away from the reach of any guy....well almost any guy. It seemed like her mind had be...

It seems it's been forever since I've posted.  I hope you few faithful readers haven't given up on me yet.  In some aspects nothing new has been going on, but then again, my life has been radically changing. Mr. Amazing is still amazing!  I went to visit him this past weekend and I met a lot of his friends and his family.  He was so attentive and sweet.  Always there with his arm around me or holding my hand even in front of his best guy buddies.  He makes me feel pretty and wanted.  We still aren't "official" but I'm OK with that.  Right now we don't even know when we are going to get to see each other again.  Between his school schedule and my work schedule, it's going to be a little more difficult for us to see each other, but we both promise to try and make it work.  I do talk to him everyday if only via text.  But again, all of this is good enough for me.  I'm cool with taking things really slow because I would probably freak out if it we...