Boxspring Mattress Lessons

For the past 5-6 years I've slept on 2 mattresses. I wanted my bed to be soft and cushy so that I just sunk into it. That was all good, but now, my back hurts. Guess my age is catching up with me. Anyways, I asked for a box springs mattress for Christmas. For unimportant reasons, I got the box springs today. I laid on the bed, and it was hard and well, felt like a regular bed.

Guess that's how I've been living my life for a while. I wanted everything to be soft and cushy and fun and youthful. But life is catching up with me, and grown up life is plain and hard at times. I'm realizing that it doesn't matter that I still feel like I'm 16; I'm not. I'm an adult, and I have to play by adult rules. I don't get a free pass from bills or dumb bosses or stupid guys because I don't look my age.

This isn't a fuss or a pity party. I'm not crying about the situation. I'm just waking up to reality and pulling up my big girl panties and getting into the game. It's not as fun as I imagined it would be, but most things aren't.

I assume things with Mr. Amazing are over. This is one of the other many lessons I'm learning. Ok, I've never been in a relationship or "talked" to a normal guy. By normal guy, I mean a guy who wasn't a "Church Guy". And technically, I haven't dated anyone in about 7 years. So I don't really know what all "talking" to a guy entails nor do I know how to really deal with long distance, non-official relationships. I'm having to assume a lot of things. Like I assume the reason he is not texting me or replying to the few texts I've sent is because he is fading out of the picture and has moved on to someone else. It is very weird to me that I've gone from talking to someone everyday to talking to them once in a 2 week period. It's also weird that a couple of weeks ago he says he misses me and wants to see me and swears that he's sorry he can't make the trip, and then the next week I hear nothing from him. It bothers me a little that, about a month ago, I straight up told him to tell me when it all got too much for him to handle and that he promised he would do so but hasn't.

Now, I may be a bit clueless, but I am no body's fool. I'm not going to keep texting, hoping he replies. If he can't make time for me, I'm not going to chase after him. He was the one that initiated everything at first, and I've given him lenience because of his busy school schedule, but I'm not going to believe that he couldn't make time for me if he really wanted to. I'm not saying he's a bad person, but I'm not excusing him for not being up front and honest with me either. Perhaps this is just how things work out there in the dating world.

What I will do is be thankful for the amazing times I did have with him, however short lived they were. He kept me from being depressed on my 25th birthday, and perhaps this was just one of God's little temporary gifts to me. Whatever the answer, I'm going to learn my lesson, be thankful for the experience, and lay in the less cushier bed I've made.