Here's the Sitch...
This is not a pity-party. This is simple a statement of where I am and why I feel the way I feel. I am not depressed, but I am not really satisfied, and that's perfectly ok.
I'm a 24 year old single female. I still live at home with my parents. I don't have a husband or kids. I don't have a boyfriend. I have myself. I have my car. I have my iPhone. I realize that paying rent for an apartment would be ridiculous considering that I don't spend that much time at home. Yet sometimes I just wish I had my own place.
I love my job, but sometimes I wonder if it's really what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to be the 40 year old teacher that's still single and still in the same place because she was too afraid to strike out on her own.
I am great friends with one of the best guys around. But for whatever reasons, we aren't anything more than friends. That really bothers me at times, and then at other times I don't feel like even dealing with the complications. What bothers me the worst about the situation is that everyone I work with, even the students, remind me everyday about this guy. No one understands why we aren't dating. Well join the club, neither do I! A lot of people say I should make the first move, but I don't know if I want to be with someone who doesn't really want me back.
Everyone seems to think that I'm such a great catch, but all of these people are old, unattractive, or married. I realize that's harsh, but the guys knocking on my door are not for me, and anyone that paid attention could realize that. Then people give me that, "oh you're young, you have plenty of time" speech. Excuse me, how old were you when you got married? 19?? Thanks but your opinion doesn't matter anymore.
And it's not as if I'm asking for marriage right now. I'm not really ready for that. I just want something new. Something different. Someone but not just anyone!
I love my church. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love being a youth leader, although at times it is way more time consuming than I want it to be. Yet with this new church, my whole belief system is being shaken. I'm ready to learn more, but the process is frightening.
And you know what, if I want to wear pants or makeup or cut my hair, I shouldn't be condemned for it. Please show me the scripture that says I'll go to hell for it. And are my clothes so important that it will cause others to fall?? Do I really have the potential to be a stumbling block to every person I've ever encountered? I am not afraid to say, "Hey, I feel like I was living under man-made traditions for the past 24 years. I was wrong, and I'm going to change." If that frightens you, then that is your problem, not mine.
I fully understand the concept that God knows what's best for me. But even the most spiritual among us would get a bit disheartened when they see the bad get what they want and the good get nothing. I had the opportunity to do the wrong thing and get revenge, but I chose the high road. So yeah, it stings a bit to see the person that I went out of my way to be nice to, even if that person didn't deserve it, get what I want.
You know what, it sure is easy for people to make comments about other people and what they need to do, when they aren't standing in that particular person's shoes. No one has my answer, except for God, and He hasn't answered yet. It doesn't mean I'm not in His will or that I'm doing something wrong. It just simply means it's not time yet.
So if I decide that I want to make changes to myself, I feel like I'm entitled. I need something, and I'm going to search until I find it. Contrary to what anyone may belief, I talk things over with God, and he'll let me know my boundaries.
I'm a 24 year old single female. I still live at home with my parents. I don't have a husband or kids. I don't have a boyfriend. I have myself. I have my car. I have my iPhone. I realize that paying rent for an apartment would be ridiculous considering that I don't spend that much time at home. Yet sometimes I just wish I had my own place.
I love my job, but sometimes I wonder if it's really what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to be the 40 year old teacher that's still single and still in the same place because she was too afraid to strike out on her own.
I am great friends with one of the best guys around. But for whatever reasons, we aren't anything more than friends. That really bothers me at times, and then at other times I don't feel like even dealing with the complications. What bothers me the worst about the situation is that everyone I work with, even the students, remind me everyday about this guy. No one understands why we aren't dating. Well join the club, neither do I! A lot of people say I should make the first move, but I don't know if I want to be with someone who doesn't really want me back.
Everyone seems to think that I'm such a great catch, but all of these people are old, unattractive, or married. I realize that's harsh, but the guys knocking on my door are not for me, and anyone that paid attention could realize that. Then people give me that, "oh you're young, you have plenty of time" speech. Excuse me, how old were you when you got married? 19?? Thanks but your opinion doesn't matter anymore.
And it's not as if I'm asking for marriage right now. I'm not really ready for that. I just want something new. Something different. Someone but not just anyone!
I love my church. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love being a youth leader, although at times it is way more time consuming than I want it to be. Yet with this new church, my whole belief system is being shaken. I'm ready to learn more, but the process is frightening.
And you know what, if I want to wear pants or makeup or cut my hair, I shouldn't be condemned for it. Please show me the scripture that says I'll go to hell for it. And are my clothes so important that it will cause others to fall?? Do I really have the potential to be a stumbling block to every person I've ever encountered? I am not afraid to say, "Hey, I feel like I was living under man-made traditions for the past 24 years. I was wrong, and I'm going to change." If that frightens you, then that is your problem, not mine.
I fully understand the concept that God knows what's best for me. But even the most spiritual among us would get a bit disheartened when they see the bad get what they want and the good get nothing. I had the opportunity to do the wrong thing and get revenge, but I chose the high road. So yeah, it stings a bit to see the person that I went out of my way to be nice to, even if that person didn't deserve it, get what I want.
You know what, it sure is easy for people to make comments about other people and what they need to do, when they aren't standing in that particular person's shoes. No one has my answer, except for God, and He hasn't answered yet. It doesn't mean I'm not in His will or that I'm doing something wrong. It just simply means it's not time yet.
So if I decide that I want to make changes to myself, I feel like I'm entitled. I need something, and I'm going to search until I find it. Contrary to what anyone may belief, I talk things over with God, and he'll let me know my boundaries.
Comments
and for a spell, i did. but as i prayed more, as i fasted more, i realized that my standards were two-fold: obedience to my pastor, and about pleasing God.
God called us to be separate, inside and out. we're to separate from the world. and i submit that it is the effects of society that makes you feel this way.
yes, you have liberty in christ. but liberty is not the freedom to do what you want; it is the freedom to do as you ought.
you should call me.
May the tradition in your life always be God painting his brush strokes of grace and love in your life.
Rest assured He is faithful to his promises and will grant you the desires of your heart.
As someone reminded me last night ... God don't make no junk!!!
let god tell you your boundaries-you are not bound by anyone else's, or their interpretation of what you should look like. this is why we aren't catholic-we talk to god directly and don't rely on a third party for our spiritual walk (no offense to catholics!)
"walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, considering the time, for the days are evil." - ephesians 5:15-16
Weird, random story here: I found your site by a google search for the Daft Punk song Stronger Faster Better.
So uh, yeah .... right: sometimes it seems useless; fruitless, pointless. And you want to just give up. Yes. ... Don't. Indeed there are days (and nights) when it would be nice to just toss standards to the wind, and blow where world takes you, living some new-found "adventure." Don't give in.
Just from one twenty-something single wondering the same things at at times to another,
-Cap.