The Truth
Here's the truth. Straight from my heart, and I may regret spilling it all out on the blogosphere tomorrow, but tonight it's driving me crazy.
When it comes to relationships, good things don't happen to me. I have hilarious, one-of-a-kind stories about all the bad things that can happen. I can tell you of stalkers from every walk of life. I can tell you about Gerber daises and tulips being delivered from unwanted suitors. I can tell you about random conversations that would make you die from laughter. I can make you gag from the thought of certain guys throwing me a line. That's my life. For the past 6-7 years, my life has been unstable in the relationship category. The only thing I knew for a fact was there was no certainty. Each time I found myself possibly interested, it didn't work out. Sometimes I figured that out quickly, and other times it took me years of hanging on to much of nothing.
I've come to accept it. I walked away from trying to force things to work when clearly it wasn't happening. In the past few weeks, I've once again wore my singleness with pride and confidence. Then cue the new guy, Mr. Amazing. Everything about our meeting has been crazy. Things like this don't happen to me. Guys like him aren't interested in me. Fairy tales don't exist in my life. There is no way that any of this can be real. Could it be that finally, the tables have turned and odds are in my favor?
Every time he text or calls I get all giddy and excited. I want to talk about him to everyone. I want to stare at his picture for hours. I want it to be real, but I can't do that. I can't let myself get all carried away because I've only known him for a week. I only spent 3 days with him. He's 3 hours away about to head back to college, and I'm just some girl who can't compete with all the other girls.
I just don't want another let down. I'd rather be alone then back to the uncertainty of a guy again. I want to rest my head on something real but I'm so terrified in a few days or weeks it will all fade away. And I just don't know that my poor heart can take much more. I wouldn't take back the 3 days I had with him. They were so much fun. He made me feel so beautiful and so wanted, things I haven't felt in such a long time. But I just find it too hard to trust in something so unlikely...
When it comes to relationships, good things don't happen to me. I have hilarious, one-of-a-kind stories about all the bad things that can happen. I can tell you of stalkers from every walk of life. I can tell you about Gerber daises and tulips being delivered from unwanted suitors. I can tell you about random conversations that would make you die from laughter. I can make you gag from the thought of certain guys throwing me a line. That's my life. For the past 6-7 years, my life has been unstable in the relationship category. The only thing I knew for a fact was there was no certainty. Each time I found myself possibly interested, it didn't work out. Sometimes I figured that out quickly, and other times it took me years of hanging on to much of nothing.
I've come to accept it. I walked away from trying to force things to work when clearly it wasn't happening. In the past few weeks, I've once again wore my singleness with pride and confidence. Then cue the new guy, Mr. Amazing. Everything about our meeting has been crazy. Things like this don't happen to me. Guys like him aren't interested in me. Fairy tales don't exist in my life. There is no way that any of this can be real. Could it be that finally, the tables have turned and odds are in my favor?
Every time he text or calls I get all giddy and excited. I want to talk about him to everyone. I want to stare at his picture for hours. I want it to be real, but I can't do that. I can't let myself get all carried away because I've only known him for a week. I only spent 3 days with him. He's 3 hours away about to head back to college, and I'm just some girl who can't compete with all the other girls.
I just don't want another let down. I'd rather be alone then back to the uncertainty of a guy again. I want to rest my head on something real but I'm so terrified in a few days or weeks it will all fade away. And I just don't know that my poor heart can take much more. I wouldn't take back the 3 days I had with him. They were so much fun. He made me feel so beautiful and so wanted, things I haven't felt in such a long time. But I just find it too hard to trust in something so unlikely...
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