Let's Rephrase All This!

In the past few weeks I have admitted my willingness to begin dating and even confessed interest in a guy. As all of this has come to light, the discussion of successful women being intimidating has come to play. To all of this, here is my reply.

I've always been hard line when it came to guys and relationships. No one was good enough to stop me from achieving my goals. I'm very careful on who I let pass my walls; I don't do close relationships well, even with just friends. I despise clingy, needy people. I cannot tolerate girls who totally lose their identities when dating a guy. I'm not a girly, mushy girl. I know what I want. I have my own opinions, and I'm not timid about sharing them, although I'll never force them on anyone. That's me....take me or leave me.

I'm the guys' girl. The girl that doesn't really hang out with the girls. I spend my Saturday afternoons watching football and actually enjoying it. I'm the bridesmaid who is the friend of the groom. Guys become comfortable with me, but they are afraid of dating me.

This is intimidating to many people, especially guys. To guys it seems as if I have everything I need, what could a guy possibly offer me? And on the surface, I can identify with that idea. I'm sure for a guy to see a girl who seems so secure is odd and therefore scary. But there is a whole other side that I would like to present.

I'm not looking for a guy to pay my bills, provide for me financially, or buy me expensive gifts (although all of those would be nice). When it comes to material things, I am secure for the time being. However, there is something I need and desperately want that can only come from that special guy. I need his affection, his love, his reassurance, and his time. None of those things require anything from the guy except to be who he is, and that's all I and other "successful" girls are looking for.

So I'm not taking back anything I've said in previous posts. However, I'm not going to sit away and pine for unconquerable boy if he is not willing to get over his preconceived notions and take a risk on me. My best guy friend, DS, swears that he's not good enough for me and I should forget him. DS can't understand what it is about unconquerable boy that I can't get over. Maybe it's the fact that I can't have him; maybe it's the fact that I see him for who he is and for all the potential that he posses. Maybe I'm just crazy.

But no matter the reason, I have to realize that life is not a fairytale. Yes, I do cling to hope that he'll take a chance on me. However I have to wake up to reality! He's never made a move towards anything but friendship, and so I must assume that is all he wants. And being the person that I am, I will be the best friend he's ever had. I will not lose myself for a guy.

So yes, I'm Kimberly. The same opinionated, not to girly, girl who is not settling for just any old guy. Yes I'm settled and satisfied, but I'm also needy and desiring. If that makes me intimidating, well, I'll just have to be intimidating.