Originally Unoriginal

...Can things just get any better?? Seriously, if it's not one thing, it is 10 others. I really, really need a long vacation. Spring break can not come quick enough. Problem is I can't get far away enough. I'm seriously thinking about just moving away and starting all over. It would make things so much easier. I could just live a life uninvolved with the drama that seems to plague my life. BUH !

Have you ever been at a point where you don't even know what to pray. It's kinda like this... God, I'm not sure what I'm suppose to be praying? I don't want to beg, but I want it. But I also want Your will. What I really want, is for what I want to be Your will. And I'd like it to work out sooner than later. But, I'm not stupid enough to think that my ideas would be better than Your ideas. So go ahead and do what You want because that will be better. After a little while, I just sat and cried because I didn't know what else to say. So today I tried again, and I think it came out a little better. I prayed for miracles. Not earth shattering, raising the dead miracles, just small miracles...but miracles nonetheless. I need a few miracles right now. I need to be reminded that I'm not forgotten. I need to know there a few things saved up there for me.

I went to a concert Saturday night. After the concert, this old (60+ year old) guy who seemed a bit drunk came up to me and asked if I had gone to the show and was trying to make conversation. A friend who was a bit inbriated herself tried to help the situation, but really made it worse. It was funny though because, of everyone there, this old guy had to come hit on me. Then I was introduced to a friend's son. I had heard from other mutual friends that they thought the guy was gay. Well after meeting me, he told his mom he was interested in taking me out. When I was told this, I asked, "I thought he was gay!?" Another friend replied, "You're a Christian. I think God would want you to STRAIGHTen him out." Why me Lord??

I bought a "Grow Your Own Valentine" from Wal-Mart. You stick him in water and he's suppose to grow 4 times bigger! Well, I did that. The package didn't say how long to keep him in there. But after a few minutes, he hadn't grown. Just like a man to lie about his size! I can't even get a fake man to do me right! But after talking to a student, she suggested I leave him in water for 24 hours. And finally he GREW! I guess guys are just a bit slow. So after a little waiting, I got my Valentine! He was just a few days late! :)

God I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I totally see what you were keeping me from. I am so glad that didn't work out with him. Yeah, yeah...I know....You're always right. Also, I set myself up for this new development, didn't I. I was just trying to be friendly and nice, and I was feeling a bit vulnerable when I said yes. I mean, he's a nice guy. But I don't want him to want to kiss me. I don't want someone to like me if I don't reciprocate that. I know the feeling, and it's not one I'm fond of. I should definitely follow the golden rule and do unto others as you would have them do unto you, right? Ok, got it! And really, God, haven't you and Gabriel had enough laughs on account of my love life? Isn't it getting old? Yes, sir, I realize that time is irrelevant to you. Yes sir, I realize that nothing grows old in heaven. Ok then, laugh all you wish.... Seriously, I realize that ole boy needs my encouragement, but couldn't I swing him ov...

There is chance I may be making a mistake. There is a chance I may regret things tomorrow night. But there is chance I may be making the right decision. There is a chance everything may be completely fine tomorrow. There is a chance it could all go terribly wrong, but there is chance it may work out just fine. But tonight...I'm not worrying. I'm ready to take a chance!

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. It was one of those days that you wished everday was like. The sun was shining, the temperature was just right. No bugs were biting. The problem is, if everyday was that great, would you enjoy it as much. Maybe the enjoyment doesn't lie fully in the good temperature, but in the fact that it was better than the rainy, cold days before. If we didn't have the bad days, would the good days be as good? Probably not. As in life, I supppose, everyday can't be good. Sometimes, we have to have some bad days so that we can appreciate the good days. I'm ready for the rain to stop. I'm ready for the sun to shine. I'm ready to enjoy my good day!

This is not a pity-party. This is simple a statement of where I am and why I feel the way I feel. I am not depressed, but I am not really satisfied, and that's perfectly ok. I'm a 24 year old single female. I still live at home with my parents. I don't have a husband or kids. I don't have a boyfriend. I have myself. I have my car. I have my iPhone. I realize that paying rent for an apartment would be ridiculous considering that I don't spend that much time at home. Yet sometimes I just wish I had my own place. I love my job, but sometimes I wonder if it's really what I want to do for the rest of my life. I don't want to be the 40 year old teacher that's still single and still in the same place because she was too afraid to strike out on her own. I am great friends with one of the best guys around. But for whatever reasons, we aren't anything more than friends. That really bothers me at times, and then at other times I don't feel like...

This may be old news to some of you, but I'm finally beginning to grasp this concept. God loves me. And there is nothing that I can do to stop that love. He just loves me. I can't earn it or negate it. It's there. All I have to do is accept it. I don't have to do certain things to make him love me. He really just loves me. What's even better is that I can reciprocate that love, not only to Him, but to everyone else. Because God loves, I too can love.

There is so much going on in my life right now, that I haven't been able to blog about it. I always rant and rave on here, and it helps me release all my emotions. Yet, for some reason all of this is just so overwhelming, I didn't even know where to begin. So I'll just start.... There are some certain people in my life that are forcing me to look at some issues. You've already read about the coach that in a round about way got to me admit my fear of rejection. Then there was this whole other conversation with someone else that just met me, that threw me for a loop. How could you tell so much about me in the matter of a week? How do you see the things that I thought I kept hidden so well? But now I'm left to deal with these flaws by myself. Like I said, admitting that they are there is the easy part. But how do I change what I've been for 24 years?? Then there is this new sense of freedom that I have spiritually. I am learning so many new things about G...