Originally Unoriginal

...there was huge change! For the past month or so I've been referring to changes going on my life, mainly at church, with a promise to explain it all later. Well finally I feel like I can explain it all. The reason for my hesitation in blogging about the whole situation was fear. In the past year, this blog has become my reality. The inner beings of my mind are recorded here, for the most part, and when I hit the "publish post" button, I am releasing my brutal honesty out into the open. These new changes have stretched me and required more responsibility than ever before that writing about them would only make it more real. But like it or not, the time is upon me, and so in order to prepare myself for the extremely near future, I'm going to let it all out. As our Associate Pastor has stepped into the full-time Pastoral role, a total revamp of our church services has taken place. Beginning tomorrow morning, our church will offer Sunday School from 9:30 - 10:30 ...

Well my friend Country Gal got married this weekend. I drove down to Hattiesburg for the wedding and stayed with a friend, Kountry Boy . And for any of you that know me, the problem with the story starts here. I had a wonderful time down in South Mississippi hanging out with Kountry Boy and his family and friends. They are just simple, country folks. I sat and laughed for hours at their banter and accents. Imagine me, a southern girl laughing at another southerner's accent...it was bad, trust me! (Think Larry the Cable Guy) Anyways, I had a good time. We went horseback riding and sat around and talked. It was a good time. Nothing happened between us; there is absolutely no regrets. No one took things to far or assumed anything. We were just friends. It was very nice. The problem arose on my way home. I'm thinking that I could possibly like this guy. But then I go back to the same ordeal. He's a great guy, but I'm just not sure I can get past the extreme c...

I got to church tonight at 7 to practice for Praise and Worship. I sang and then I had to get the computer working for my pastor to use the powerpoint for his bible lesson. I was the only one there to work the computer. I don't ever mind doing it, but tonight it was just too much. The computer acts so dumb so times and you have to restart it to work. I couldn't deal with it if it broke. I set everything up and hoped it would make it through the sermon. I was about to break out in tears; I just couldn't deal with anything else tonight. So I got up and left. I got in my car and cried. I drove home crying. I got home and took a shower, all the time crying. I finished making out a test for my 7th graders, fighting back tears. I'm sitting here blogging trying not to short circuit the laptop with my tears. I realize that this is mostly hormones and that in 5-7 days I should be just fine, but I'm so stressed out I can't stand to be in my own skin. I'm ...

They're invading the whole area! Get out while you can! It's like one of the plagues from Egypt! There is NO escaping! What use to be color is now covered in black. I suspect will lose sight of the sun in a few more days. I'm safely blogging from inside my classroom, but I don't know how long I'll be safe here. Soon the whole place may be overtaken! Crickets! They are everywhere!!! Living in a rural area is not always the best scenario, especially during harvesting season. All the bugs living in the crops invade human territory when the reapers come out! Now the whole school which is practically located between some cotton fields is invested with crickets. Literally, you cannot even walk through the doorways going outside because they are full of crickets. They are even coming into the building. Thankfully they are in the high school hall and not the junior high all where I'm located!

I'm really trying to accept people for who they are. Yet some people just seem unlikeable. I realize that it's not necessarily their fault for being who they are, but someone needs to tell them they're dirty so they can go get cleaned up! Just because you accept someone for who they are, does it mean that you have to like them? Some people just make it impossible for you to like them. It doesn't matter what you do or how much you stick your neck out for them, they find a reason to turn on ya. It just doesn't make any sense. Also, while I'm all about acceptance and honesty, let's clarify something else. Why do we as Pentecostals force everyone into the music ministry. Some folks just ain't got musical talent. I can carry a tune, harmonize a bit, and even play a tiny bit of piano. I love music, and I love to sing. However, I realize that music isn't my ministry. I will never be the music director of some big church. I came to grips with tha...

I had a parent conference the other day about one of my students. The boy is honestly not too bad in my class, occasionally I correct him but he's an angel compared to some. However, his grade is one of my worst. He doesn't take notes; he doesn't study. His step-mom came to the conference. The step-mom and his dad are in the middle of getting a divorce. Even though this woman is not his biological mom, she's been his mom for the past 6 years. The step-mom broke down crying in the meeting because she cares for this boy so much. However, after the divorce is final, she won't have any say in this boy's education. I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed myself. It's so sad that this boy is hurting, and there are countless others broken just like him. I just want to take that poor boy and hug him. *************************** Today the Guitar Man sent me a link to a free download . It should be my theme song as I try to change who I am . Read ...

Acceptance is so important. It's vital to growth. People have to know that you accept them for who they are. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with them, just agree to disagree in a civilized way. Those were some of the main ideas we discussed in last week's leadership class. I'm learning that sometimes things just aren't your fault. It's not always someone's fault that they have certain character flaws. It's a result of their surroundings and their childhood development. That is why we must accept them for who they are, faults and all. Now, on the flip side, although it may not be your fault, you are responsible for yourself. Does that sound like a contradiction?? Then please let me explain. My Pastor gave this analogy. He's dressed for church, Sunday suit. He walks out to the mailbox before service and while he's at the road, an 18-wheeler drives by and splashes mud/water all over him. He's filthy. It's not his fault...

I've discovered a new talent! I have this inane ability to pick the wrong checkout line at Wal-mart! It never fails, the line I get in will need a price check or have a bad check, etc. I'm not too sure why God has shown down His great blessings in my life and given me this gift, but I certainly believe that I am not worthy for such great an honor! ************* I received an extremely random text message today. It said "I'm getting married September 23rd." I replied "What!? Where!? Why!?" She replied back, "In Hattiesburg because I love him!" I chuckled. Pretty good answer. I was going for, "why so suddenly", but that will work! A friend of mine has been dating this guy for several months or more. He's going to be sent back to Iraq pretty soon, so they decided to go ahead and get married before he leaves. I'm wishing the best for both of them. ...

In this week's installment of my leadership class, my pastor talked about seeing ourselves in honest light. Sometimes we see reflections of ourselves that aren't true because we are looking through mirrors that are distorted, reflecting an unhonest light. However when we look through a regular mirror, we see our true reflection. It is the same in life. People tell us who we are because they are seeing us through unhonest light. However, when God looks at us--He is the truth! We are seeing our true ourselves when we look through the eyes of Jesus. Really, really good stuff there! That's why we should pray to have the mind of Christ and see people as Jesus sees them. So with all this honesty going around, I thought it would be best to just get real with God, myself, and why not the blogosphere! So to be completely predictable, I'm going to go with the topic that everyone assumes I'm "fronting" about anywayz, guys! I dated a guy, who I thought was th...