Originally Unoriginal

Romance. I can say that I've dabbled in it a little, but never had the pleasure or misfortune (depending on your view point) to dive head first into it. However, through use of Movies and TV, I got a few glimpses into what I'd certainly like to have. Exhibit A: I just purchased and watched the newest version of "Pride and Prejudice." The story was not new to me, but I did need reminding that Mr. Darcy is one of the greatest, fictitious men ever created. I made the statement to my father, who had the privilege of walking in on the end of the movie, that I would marry a man if he was like Mr. Darcy. What is it about Mr. Darcy?? He pushes Elizabeth; he challenges her. They both make each other see their faults and realize their dreams. Together they are greater than they ever could be apart. He makes her push past all her preconceived notions. He forces her, though without physical force, to trust him. He does things to win her affection, knowing he may actually never ga...

An excerpt from Tommy Tenney's Hadassah: One Night With the King .... "And then Mordecai asked the fateful question. "What was it really like to enter the Holy Place, the dwelling of the Almighty?" "God really does have a presence, do you know?....My whole being would throb with this awareness of His person. I thought I could feel His heart. And at such times I was glad everyone else kept their distance, because often I would dance and laugh and weep and sing and shout all at the same time because my chest felt like it would truly, truly burst if I did not. I felt -- I felt...well, have you ever seen a young child greet a beloved father after a long absence? The little arms pumping, the little legs churning, the leap into his arms, the tears in the father's eyes? I felt like that. A child so overcome with joy at His return that all I wanted to do in this world was to leap as high into His bosom as I could. And I could feel His tears, too. That's the wond...

....Not to rant, rave, or depress with this post today. Today I promise to be uplifting, fun, and possibly even encouraging. Even though I've stated that I'm going down this " dark road " and that I've been a bit aggravated doesn't mean that my whole being is gloomy and melancholy. No actually, I try not to focus on those issues all day, and most of the time I enjoy myself. So here's to a good day! First, interesting news for blog fans out there. 2 bloggers listed under my links, Shana and Robert , will be having an all-out blog war. No date has been scheduled, but it should be coming to a blog near you in the upcoming days or week. They will be taking questions from and moderated by the original ninetyandnine.com blogger Wendy. Shana and Robert will be tackling this subjects from the female and male perspective and giving us all some insight into the minds of the opposite sex. Secondly, my good friend Sunshine should be popping out a baby any day now. We...

You have been warned.... Why are people irresponsible and not dependable?? It's one of the most nerve-racking things to deal with people who are so wishy washy. They can't give you a straight answer, you have to pet them and beg them and remind them of every little thing. GROW UP! Get some accountability about you! I'm about to get down right personal here. Tonight as soon as church service was over I briefly announced in a microphone to the whole entire congregation that all the youth needed to meet with a certain person and let them know if they planned on going to Tupelo for something called "Wintervention." I made the statement that whether you planned on going or not, you needed to meet with her immediately. So the responsible person that I am, I walked over to the lady and told her I was going. She asked me if I would mind rounding up everyone else. I looked at her and I said, "Yes, I would mind. I made the announcement on a mic and everyone heard me. I...

The past 7-8 months have been some of the worst times in my life. I know that some of the greatest things happened to me during this time, including graduating from college, but even those memories are marred by all the bad that took place. To those who have asked, "Are you ok?" I've simply replied that I'm just going down a "dark road." Most everyone around me knows of certain circumstances that have hindered me. I don't wear frustration and anger well. However, I try to cover sadness and loneliness as best as possible. Only a few times during my "dark road" have I broken down, and these times have only been in front of God. I've screamed at him for answers, clarification, justification....All to no avail. Yes I've cried, even spoke in tongues, but when it's all over I still feel as if my prayers were thrown out of heaven and right back at my feet. There is a poem most know by Robert Frost where he says, "I took the road less ...

I pride myself in being balanced. I'm not too liberal or too conservative. I'm not too girly nor too much of a tomboy...etc. Well today I'm throwing my balance to the wind and I'm going to be shallow. I went to the mall in search for a jersey for a friend. Well why I was there, I had to stop by a few stores and check out the clothes. I found not one, not two, but three new skirts. What's even great is that 2 of them are blue jean, and for all of you apostolic girls out there...you know how hard it is to find a good blue jean skirt. One even came with this really trendy scarf belt. I'm very excited about it! I've never noticed how much clothes I actually have. Some of the students have made the comment that I have not worn the same outfit since school started on January 3rd. What's sad, or good, is that they're right. I may have worn a skirt twice, but it was always with a different top. Somehow I still look at my closet and say, "I have nothing ...

I'll admit it; I have no life. No real life that has any purpose. Nope...None. It's ok though because at least I can admit it. Here's the proof.... Tonight was "group night" on American Idol. I cried because my cowboy that I blogged about recently got sent home. He was just so durn precious. Who cares if he couldn't sing. I just have a soft spot for the underdogs....Guess that's why I'm a Mississippi State Fan. What got me was that he was ok with going home. He knew that he wasn't ready; he was just glad to have the experience. SeeI have no life....I rest my case.

I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day for the obvious reasons. I don't have that special love in my life to send me roses or chocolates. Also it bothers me that people give gifts on Valentine's day more out of obligation than because of love. Cultural peer-pressure stinks! Anywaz, I was sitting here at work thinking "Where did this dumb holiday come from??" I was sure it was some plot by a flower shop union and Hallmark, but I was wrong. This holiday goes back all the way to the middle ages... One legend tells the story that Emperor Claudius II made a decree that no young men could marry. He wanted men to join the army without the baggage of a wife and children left at home. The priest, Valentine, would still perform secret marriages for these young men. When the King found out, he had St. Valentine killed and so we celebrate this day in honor of his death. Another theory says that Valentine was put in jail, fell in love with the jailor's daughter, and sent he...

First, I ran across this blog that cracked me up. It's entitled "Insecure People Suck." It's listed with the rest of my links, so feel free to go check it out. Secondly, I'm very exhausted with drama. I hate drama, yet somehow it finds me. I hate being caught in all the mess. Drama is caused by insecure people, and you know what...Insecure People Suck! Maybe that's why I liked that blog so much?? I have a lot that I could say, but I'm afraid of who may read this blog, so I won't say it. However, I will say.... if you feel the need to kiss and hug all over your significant other...GET A ROOM! It's fine if you hold their hand, put your arm around them..ok. It is not ok to blow in their ear, rub all over their neck, face, hair, or kiss numerous times in front of everyone else. That type of PDA is something 15 and 16 year olds do with their first boyfriend/girlfriend b/c they don't know any better. It should not be accepted by 20+ year olds. Sorry....

"Do you know I can't remember the last time we kissed because you never think the last time is the last time. You think you have forever, but you don't." "The truth is -- the truth hurts. So we lie." --Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

After years of putting it off, I finally did it. I broke down, went to the orthodontist, and got braces! I got them put on Tuesday afternoon, so I'm still in a little bit of pain. Previous brace-wearers have assured me that by the end of the week I should be relatively pain free and use to the fact that my mouth feels like it weighs a ton. Right now, I only have the top braces on. I go back in 5 weeks to get the bottom ones on. Along with the braces, I have to have 4 teeth pulled and have my wisdom teeth cut out. I have to go ahead and get my 4 pre-molars removed as soon as possible in order to have room for my other teeth to move. Thankfully, my wisdom teeth don't have to be cut out right now, so I'm going to wait until this summer. Speaking of this summer, I'm going to be spending 2 weeks in England! My mom's mom, my Nanna, was born in England. She met my grandfather during WWII, while he was stationed in England. They fell in love, got married, and a few years af...

If you've read my series on love, you know that I'm in the middle of a deep study on holiness and standards as it pertains to the Apostolic walk of life. With the help of my Sunday School teacher and classmates, I'm writing a book on all our findings and discussions. So far I've gotten the rough draft down, dealing with the foundations of holiness. When I think about it, it all seems extremely overwhelming. I just keep reminding myself that this process can take as long as possible. I don't have any deadline. So I write when I'm in the mood, and for right now, I'm about caught up. If anyone has any research, ideas, or thoughts they would like to share, please do so! I do enjoy writing, but I never really thought about doing something so serious and professional. I'm really taking it a bit overboard I guess, but I just feel really honored. I suppose because this topic is something that is so sensitive to me that I really want everyone to grasp what I have...

Hardly do I ever just long for a guy in my life. As a girl, we all have our moments. Although it may not hurt too bad to have one, there are few times that I ever just cry out for one in desperation. However, there are 2 major times in my life when the urge completely takes over and I give into temptation. One of those times actually occurred last night. When church was over last night, I had to go get my car, in the cold, cold rain and step every so carefully in a huge puddle, just to reach my car. I sat in the car and said, "I really need a man right now!" There is one more time that really gets me, and unfortunately, that time may be later on today. I down right despise pumping gas. I despise it even more when I have to pump it in the cold, rain! Well, I'm almost on "e", and it's cold and rainy outside. I feel the urge to need a man coming on! Oh, well. Spring is coming soon, and maybe I can get victory over the situation!

The story tells of a mountain climber who wanted to climb the highest mountain. He begun his adventure after many years of preparation, but since he wanted the glory just for himself, he decided to climb the mountain alone. The night felt heavy in the heights of the mountain, and the man could not see anything. All was black, zero visibility, and the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds. As he was climbing, only a few feet away from the top of the mountain, he slipped and fell into the air, falling at a great speed. The climber could only see black spots as he went down, and the terrible sensation of being sucked by gravity. He kept falling…and in those moments of great fear, it came to his mind all the good and bad episodes of his life. He was thinking now about how close death was getting, when all of a sudden he felt the rope tied to his waist pull him very hard. His body was hanging in the air. Only the rope was holding him, and in that moment of stillness he had no other ...

I'm an American Idol fan. The first season it was on, I had no clue what it was. Right before the final show, I kept seeing things about "The American Idol" on the internet and such, and I was totally lost. I watched a few episodes of the 2nd season. By the third season, I was hooked. I even had the American Idol hotline number programmed into my cell phone! I wanted Fantasia and Carrie Underwood both to win!! As most of you probably have heard, season 5 of American Idol premiered Tuesday night. Well last night, they were still airing auditions, and I was so touched by this one guy. He lives on a farm/ranch in Colorado and sings to his turkey everyday. He goes to Denver to try out for American Idol. He's so nervous when he gets in front of the judges that he can't remember the name of the song he is going to sing. Paula encourages him to just go ahead and start singing. He does and I was shocked by his voice. It was really full and had tons of potential. Even Simo...

Life hasn't been too eventful lately, but I figured I'd just keep you updated since I have nothing else to blog about. Two weekends ago I went with a friend's College and Career church group to Shepherds of the Ozarks . We stayed in a huge log cabin, went horseback riding, and hiking up a mountain. It was one of the best times I've had in a while. If you live in the Ozarks/Arkansas area, it may be a place for you to look into going, especially with your youth group. Work is doing better. I'm not too excited about my job. I would rather be in a classroom teaching than sitting here in the career center. However, I'm beginning to learn some students' names and find my little niche. I do miss O'Bannon though. I think I bleed green and white! Hope Riverside students don't read this blog! ;-) I'm keeping the drama team at church busy. We are composing an original drama to the song Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. I'm very excited about ...

"Here it is. Your choice. It's simple. Her or me, and I'm sure she's really great. But Derrick, I love you -- in a really, really big - pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me . Choose me . Love me ." Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy I love this show, and I heard this line and it hit me. It's the words that you want to say but don't because you don't want to seem like the desperate chick, even though you are desperate. UGH. I'm glad I'm not at that place right now. I can honestly say that I'd rather be alone than in some love triangle again that's for sure! I was sitting at work today thinking how lame I am. It's no new thing for me to get hit on by the high schooler's I teach, yet I can't get one guy my age to look my way. What's the deal?? There has to be something wrong th...

The greatest commandment of all times is to Love God with all your heart, body, mind, and spirit. Now just watch and see how all of this is connected... When you really love someone, you go out of your way to please them. You do little things that may not necessarily be required, just to show how much you care. You do more than just say you love someone, you show them. Well the same applies with our love from God. When we develop a deep, loving relationship with our Creator, we'll begin to do more and sacrifice more just to please him. One big issue with me is "Standards of Holiness". I began my College and Career Sunday School Class down this trail. I mentioned earlier a guy that was questioning me about my beliefs . Well in a quest to give him the right answers, I began to question myself. Didn't God say that by LOVE people would know we were different. God also said he looked on the heart of a man, not on his outward appearance. So maybe my whole denomination was ...

To recap: We know that God has unconditional love , and that you need to show that love to others. Also, you need to put actions behind your words . God said there are 2 great commandments: 1.) Love God with all your heart, mind, body, and spirit. 2.) Love your neighbor as yourself. Right now let's concentrate on the 2nd commandment. We have to love everyone we come in contact with just as much as we love ourselves. Now, if any of you are like me, I'm pretty darn fond of myself. Therefore, I should be pretty darn fond of everyone else too. I should be one of the biggest "people persons" out there. God goes as far to say that all the law and the prophets hang on those 2 commandments. That means, if you don't grab a hold of this love thing and run with it, you might as well pack up your bags and go home. That's how imporant it is to love other people. Now back to my original theory. It's one thing to say that I love my neighbor, it's another thing to go ...

Anyone who may have anything to add to this next few entries or any questions, please feel free to leave comments or email me. If they add to the posts, I'll add them on. ************************************************************************ I caught sight of God's true love and began to practice it. Then I met another guy who was of a different denomination than me. He began asking me numerous questions about what I believe and how it was different from what he believed. I prayed that God would help me convey my convictions to him in the right way, not in a judgemental spirit. So I began to study God's word. How exactly would this guy and others know that I'm different. The guy acknowledged that people could see my outward apperarnce (skirts and long hair) and visibly notice that I was different. Although that is true and very important, there had to be something deeper. God quickened a verse to my mind. "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ...