Originally Unoriginal

My pastor decided to resign this morning. Instead of forcing anyone to vote yes or no against the ministry, he resigned. Those of us in support of his ministry left the Greenville United Pentecostal Church and are starting a new work, Grace Apostolic Fellowship. Our first service this morning was held at a local funeral home. After all the jokes about raising the dead, etc, we ended up having a great service with 97 people in attendance. We are believing God for a permanent home in the next 30 days. I am sad to leave UPC. That church was a haven to me during a hard time in my life. I wouldn't be the person I am today without many of the people there. Numerous people invested in me, and I am grateful. I will never forget the love, friendships, and lessons I learned while a member there. I will not belittle my past with bitterness and act as if it means nothing to me. There will always be fond memories. My leadership began at that church, and I do not take it for granted. There are ...

Dear Jesus Christ, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you do this. For years you have shown us the wicked ways these people. You have shown us their vanity. You have shown us their jealousy, You have shown us their contempt for for anyone they view as a threat. You have shown us their lies. You have shown us their hate. You have shown us the the length they will go to to destroy lives, families, reputations, credibility, trust, love for your brother and sister, and most of all faith. You have shown us we needed to leave for years. It took you revealing all that is in their heart for us to to see clearly that we must go and work for you somewhere else. I'm sorry Jesus for forcing you to do what you have had to do. Please forgive me. No more will we sit under leadership that put themselves before You. No longer will we abide in the house that is consumed my backbiting and iniquity. Who knows if any of what they say about the man of God is true. The vast majority of all they say ...

I am so sick of receiving stupid letters in the mail from people in my church. Today, I even received one from someone who doesn't even attend my church. It is so disheartening to see people stoop this low to remove someone as pastor. I can understand if these people had a problem about the way he ran the church or his standpoint against organizational issues, etc. However there is no need to bring out information about things my pastor did 20+ years ago. No one needs to know how his personal business was handled before he became pastor. Here's my question: If he has always been so bad, why did everyone vote him in as pastor to begin with? Didn't people that knew of his horrible character deceive us by withholding that information for years? If he was so terrible, why was he allowed to be our Asst. Pastor for 20 years? I think this makes about 10 letters that I received in the past 2 weeks. And every time I receive one I become more angry at the senselessness of it all. I...

I have blogged for 2.5 years. Through those years I have shared just about all of my emotions, my concerns, my joys, and my triumphs. This has been all about me. It's my blog where I can write about whatever is affecting me. It's not a place of slander or gossip. Yes, I write to encourage others, but mainly I do it to encourage myself. I can look back on previous posts and see how far I've come. It's a testament of my journey through life. With all that said, I do apologize if anyone has read my blog and thought of it as anything other than what I just described. I realize that several people have only in the past few weeks begun reading my blog, but in order to get a feel of who I am, you can't look at just the latest blogs, but all of them. This blog was not started to cause trouble, but for me and those readers who may be interested enough in my life. I've looked back over my posts to see if I've said anything hurtful or rude about the current situation a...

The following are a few scriptures that the Lord gave me for our Youth prayer tonight. They really spoke to my heart and to our present situation... We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us -- trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us -- he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best! 2 Corinthians 4: 8-12 (The Message: REMIX) God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil t...

The cool guy, KC , told me about this poem. He said it always helped to keep him focused. If by Rudyard Kipling If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master; If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginn...

I know God has a plan, but it doesn't mean that people won't get hurt in the process. Tonight was not good at church. The crap hit the fan in the middle of the service. Several people got up and walked out as a result. I really wanted to join them, but running away is not an option for me. I am watching families torn apart. I am seeing friends doubt one another and relationships waiver. I am trying to keep a right spirit, but it's hard. If my pastor was wrong, (not that I think he is), how do I continue with those that are against him? They have handled this situation in a poor manner. People have spread rumors about me and any of you can take a look at some of the comments left on my blog lately. Why do I want to turn to people that are against me? But they say they love me? I can't comprehend that kind of love. Yes, I wish them the best, and I pray no harm comes their way. I've left a church before and am still able to speak to those people in public, so I'll ...

Orlando, Florida was a blast! The only set back was that we didn't have enough time to spend there. A friend of mine and her family were planning a trip to FL. My friend wanted me to meet her cousin who was going to be meeting them there in Florida. So she asked me if I wanted to go, I said yeah, and so at 11 PM Sunday night, I began packing for Florida. We left Monday morning at 6:30 AM! We stayed at the Nickelodeon Hotel, which was actually tons of fun even for us older folks. We went to Epcot, Downtown Disney, and did a little shopping also. ***************** The whole church split thing is going full force. It's gotten really ugly actually. Several people have begun posting comments anonymously on my blog and other friends blogs with rude comments. I feel really bad for these people. I know they are frustrated and angry and haven't learned how to channel those feelings in a positive way. So if you feel the need to call me names or criticize my actions or those of my fri...

Forget the blahs! I'm heading to Orlando, FL for a few days! Long, weird story about that, but I'll be sure to fill you in!

I feel blah. I'm not sad or depressed; I'm just blah. Most of the time my world is going 100 miles per hour. So when I have too much down time, I tend to get the blahs. It's probably the fact that school starts back in 2.5 weeks for me, and my summer will be over. I did have a nice vacation in Branson , and got to spend some time on the lake, but other than that, this summer hasn't been too exciting. I always have such high expectations. I plan to really accomplish something over the summer, and before I know it, it's over and I've accomplished nothing. So here I am blogging with the blahs. There's still a small chance to redeem the summer, but I'm thinking there are probably just going to be 2 more weeks of blah...

I could focus on the lies. I could concentrate on the negative. I could worry and try to figure out the next step. Instead, I'm trusting God. I know that this is all coming to an end. So instead, I'll focus on the positive. Being a youth leader is one of the hardest tasks I've ever took on. Some days it stresses me out, and the kids worry me to no end. Then there are days like today. Times that I am so proud that I remember what I'm fighting for. One of the members of our youth group called a meeting. Me and three other youth members. He poured out his heart to those other three kids. He cried as he told of the burden God had placed upon him. He urged the others that it was now or never for them to step out. He stated that if those 4 didn't step out and make revival happen, it never would. I could feel his sincerity as he spoke. As a youth leader, I live for those moments. My desire is that a burden falls on every young person like it has on this special child. I kn...

So some friends of mine invited me to go on vacation with them and their children to Branson , MO for a week. I'm always up for travel and fun, so of course I jumped at the chance. Here's what we did and few stories to go along with it... Saturday: Mini-Golf, Grand Jubilee show. Sunday: Laser Tag, Legends in Concert , Shanghai Circus Monday: Table Rock Lake Tuesday: Parasailing , IMax Theater , The Best of Motown , The Presley's Wednesday: Lambert's , Tony Roi's Elvis Experience , Six Thursday: Shopping, Mini-Golf Friday: Silver Dollar City The Story (There's always got to be one) We were at the Best of Motown show, just having a great time. We had front row seats, and although the kids with us didn't know most of the music, I had been raised listening to 50's and 60's music. I was clapping and snapping my fingers and singing along to almost every song. If you've ever been to one of these type shows, there is usually a lot of audience participat...

After traveling all day, I just wanted to get my suitcases back in my car and head home. I had a wonderful time on my trip, but I was tired. So I walked over to where my car had been sitting for the past week, and unlocked the doors. I had noticed some bird poo on the hood of my car and ants crawling around it, but that is nothing unusual for me. However when I opened my door, I discovered the ants weren't just on the outside but all over the inside as well. My door was almost black, covered with ants. Ants were crawling in my seat, on my console, and all in my stereo. I opened up the door to the backseat and there were more. They were even in my trunk! I did the only thing a independent, single young lady would do. I called my dad! His cell phone went straight to his voice mail. I called the house. The phone rang and rang but no answer. I called my mom's cell phone, and still no answer. So I called my second mom, thinking she would know where my parents were. She...

Vacation was great. I do have a few funny stories to share, but they must wait until tomorrow. I'm pretty tired, and I have a headache from wearing a headband all day long! However, I did want you all to know that I'm still alive and raring to get back to blogging! Talk to you tomorrow!

I had to post tonight before I left for vacation. I doubt very seriously I'll have any access to the internet while I'm away, so it will be next Saturday or Sunday at the earliest that you'll hear from me. How will we ever make it?! I just spent the last hour packing! I despise packing! I love to travel, but I hate to prepare for a trip. I always over analyze everything I take. I bring things I don't need, and I usually forget at least one thing that I should have brought. At least this time I'm driving, so hopefully there won't be any lost luggage ! Another crazy thing about traveling is that I'm always a tad sad/worrisome about leaving. Of course, it's never enough to make me stay, but I do have a moment of hesitation in me. That feeling, whatever it may be, is my fear that I may miss something important or life changing while I'm away. It's not that I'm a control freak, but I do like the feeling of helping people out when in need. For a b...

The world is full of cliche's. The biggest one among Christians, especially A/ Ps ( Aposotlics /Pentecostals) is "pray for me." How many times has someone asked you to pray for someone. Or how many times have you heard some news to which you replied, "I'll pray for you." Sometimes our conversations are so cliche'. "Hey, how are you?" "Good. How are you?" "I'm ok , but my sister is back in the hospital ." "Oh dear, well I'll be sure to pray for her." "Thanks, she needs it. " "See ya later." I mean, there's nothing wrong with that conversation. But how much of it do we really mean? Do we really pray for people when we say we will or is it just another catch phrase in our daily conversations. Have we gotten so use to saying it that it just comes out without a real thought? I want my words to mean something. I especially want my promises to mean something. I've been guilty of saying...

It's amazing where one can get spiritual inspiration. Today, it came from the new movie, Evan Almighty . For those of you good people who refrain from movies, here's the 411 on the movie. Evan runs for Congress with a campaign promising to "change the world." Life seems to be going good. He wins the election, moves into a new house, and is getting royal treatment at the capitol. His family thought they would have more family time; his wife even prays that their family would draw closer. Yet, Evan is staying really busy. During all of this, Evan is visited by God, who tells him to build an Ark. The movie is basically Evan trying to avoid his calling, and everyone thinking Evan is crazy for hearing from God. Evan's wife and kids turn their back on him at one point. They also think he's crazy; going through a mid-life crisis. God (disguised as a random waiter) speaks to Evan's wife and offers this advice: When someone prays for patience, does God automatical...

I wish I could write tonight and say that everything is right with the world. I wish I could type out a glorious report of how all the bad has been wiped away and replaced with nothing but good. I can't do that. Trouble still lurks. Chaos still ensues. Offenses are still coming. I can write and tell you that God is still good. He is still on the throne; still in control. I can tell you that despite the drama, I still trust in God. I am able to say that even though a storm rages around me, it is not raging inside of me. Yes, there is peace in my heart. There is assurance in my soul that God is working it all out for our good. I know it seems I've been blogging in riddles lately. I keep referring to this almost war-like situation. Well yes, I am in the throws of a war, spiritually. The devil is violently attacking my Pastor and my church. It may very well come down to a church split, and it is weighing hard on many. I can honestly say that I'm not taking a man's side. I ...

I do apologize for the lack of communication. I took the girls in the youth group to stay at the lake house in Hot Springs, AR. We had a great time swimming, jet skiing, and riding around on the party barge. I got some sun and worked on my tan a little! We had a good time, but I'm glad to be home. Girls are girls, so of course we had our run-ins, but I think overall it was a success. I am glad to be home and in my own room again though! Not too much is happening right now. I turned a previous blog post "Music-less Revival" into an article for 90&9. If you want to check it out, do so here . My friend's mother is doing much better. The doctors say she has a good possibility of fully recovering from her stroke. I'm so glad God answers prayers. Every day I'm amazed at His greatness!

My friend's father got really sick last Friday night. He's 86 and has had a hard time breathing for years. The ambulance came and got him, and he was placed on life support. The doctors basically told them that he would die soon. The family had to make the decision to pull him off the life support, or to keep him on permanently . Her father answered the question for them. On Wednesday, he pulled out the tubes himself, sat up on the side of the bed, and asked for water! He lived for 3 more days; he passed away early Saturday morning. Even though they are mourning their loss, they feel blessed that they had the chance to say goodbye. Another friend's mother had a stroke Thursday. I talked to him today, and he was feeling down. He told me "I trust God, but what if God takes her away?" I instantly felt his pain. Just because you trust God, it doesn't stop it from hurting. Even though God's ways are better than ours, sometimes it takes years to understand and y...