Originally Unoriginal

I work at a public school, so things get a little rowdy sometimes. This afternoon a few kids got into a fight, there was yelling going on down the hallway, and such. I looked over at one of the students who lives down the street from me, and said "Diva, let's just go home to our quiet street." And I did just that. Then I had plans to go out with a friend and her sister tonight. Before I left, I shook my head at my mother who was laying on the couch as my dad proceeded to watch some dumb Jet Li movie. I turned to her and asked, "Is this what I have to look forward to?? Sitting on the couch on a Friday night watching some movie I have no interest in??" Mom just replied, "Maybe when you're 50...." I wished them a nice night and headed out. So my friend is driving me home, and we turn down my nice, quiet street. Only, my nice, quiet street now has 3-4 police cars and 2 firetrucks parked right near my house. All I can think is, "Is that MY house??...

I stole this quote from someone else's blog . Seemed kinda fitting for my present situations... "Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress." ~ Thomas A. Edison Just wondering how long it takes the discontentment to move into progress?? Hopefully real soon!!

I'm the type of person, when I'm upset, everyone knows it. I hate that about myself, but I can't help it. Not all my emotions are worn on my sleeve, but anger is. Most especially it shows when I'm at church. Sorry, call me wrong, but I can't act like I'm all spiritual when I'm fuming. It's just not going to happen. So what's the big deal about it?? Well, you're like me, everyone knows you're upset, and they start asking you questions. Then they think you are mad at them because you don't respond to their questioning or whatever. It's not that you are mad at them, they just happened to be in your path when the snap hit. God tells us to be angry and sin not. Very, very hard to do. At least it is for me. What's worse is when that anger is mixed with sadness, guilt, frustration, and confusion. Then you've got one messy, messy situation. Well that's where I was Sunday night and pretty much still am today, and everyone knows it....

First, if you don't like my blog, don't read it! I got the dumbest comment from an anonymous reader on my "Am I that Transparent" post. Some people are rather ridiculous! Anywaz, here's some details of my uneventful life... I got a call today from someone at Delta State, and they would like me to come work at Delta State in the College of Education as a Graduate Assistant . That means that I would be in Graduate School . That means DSU may be paying my tuition to get my MASTERS! I'm very excited about that! Secondly, I had to write a teaching philosophy. I got really into it, so I thought I would share it with you all. I must admit I had some help, but once I got my "theme" I jumped in!! Here goes.. The United Stats is at war. It is a war based upon culture, race, and socio-economics. Caught somewhere in the middle of this war are precious children, and if adults are not careful, the children will become the casualties of war. Teachers are the soldie...

Well it's been about 2 days since my resolve to really let God be in control. I think I've done a great job so far. Nothing has had me too worked up or worried. I even had a situation that I could have over-analyzed, and I didn't. I just carried on with my life and didn't think twice about it. I think I deserve a cookie!! Other than that, I'm helping my junior high football team! Get that...I'm not only Ms. Rigney but Coach Rigney! The guys only have 2 games left, but I'm going to be on the sidelines and "assist" for both of those games. I went out to practice today from 9-12. I know the kids enjoyed the extra attention. Also, I have a hideous sinus infection. I take sinus/allergy medicine everyday, but a few times a year I get a nice infection. Thank God it hasn't been too painful. One night I did wake up thinking my head was going to explode, but 5 pills later, I wasn't feeling too bad. It's just that nasty taste in your mouth that y...

I have a "promise box" that I draw scriptures out of occasionally, when I need some encouragement from the Lord. Today I drew a great promise; they are: "I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not." Isaiah 41:13 "For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Matthew 7:8 Both scriptures were very uplifting and right on time. Everyone knows I have trust issues, even when it comes to God Himself. I'm independent and want to work it out all by myself. That I'm an over-analyzer is an understatement. I've been a complete jerk lately, acting like I can make it on my own, although I know that I'm so incapable. Today, I had to spend some time apologizing to God for acting the way I have. It all boils down to some previous posts. I'm afraid of failure. Therefore I try to find every angel of every situation and protect myself against that failure. Deep...

He didn't walk me to the door last night after the date. It's just bad etiquette. Yeah, he took me to a nice restaurant. Yes, we had good conversation. So what!! Manners are manners...right?? Another insight to myself... I look for faults in guys. I look for something, anything to be wrong. I nit-pick until I find a shred of imperfection and then I magnify it to outlandish degrees. Why do I do that? I think in most cases, I do it to spare my heart. I've had enough bad experiences to assume that a guy is going to screw up and break my heart. So if he's wrong right from the start, I won't get my hopes up. It's often been said to keep low expectations, that way when things fail, you won't be hurt. That is how I handle relationships with guys. I'm going to try and give this guy another chance, if he asks for one that is. Maybe he'll prove me wrong, but then again...

Lately, people have been noticing things about me. Things that I wasn't really even aware of myself. Once they point it out though, I see that it is so obvious. Today I was talking to my CT about a guy. I made the comment, "He seems really sincere." My CT quickly picked up on the word "seems." Coach CT asked, "Have you had a lot of bad experiences with guys?" I chuckled and said, "What girl hasn't?? But, yeah, I've been around some liars in my time." Coach CT replied, "I could tell because you said that this guy 'seems' sincere. You must have trust issues when it comes to guys." He basically told me to keep my heart guarded but not to push everyone away. Now I know that I can be a big guy basher, but I always felt that I trusted someone until they proved they couldn't be trusted. I guess when it comes to potential boyfriends (or whatever), it's a different story. Maybe I am untrusting of guys, looking for the...

...Where you felt the need to tell people exactly how you feel even if it was with little or NO tact?? I've been in one of those moods lately, so fair warning...Stay far away from me. Unless, of course, you want to know how I really feel about you. I guess this is where I always get confused with "Christianity." We aren't suppose to lie, yet we cover up how we really feel about situations, smile, and act fake towards someone, thinking that we did the "Christian" thing by keeping our mouths shut. But isn't that lying?? Isn't being fake a sin?? Well if it isn't, it should be. I've always heard, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Then 99% of the time, I should just keep my mouth shut. **sigh** Things have just been not so hot around here, and I'm tired of trying to pretend that the situations don't exist. If someone is acting like a hypocrite, then I'm going to call them out on...

So things have been a little down for me lately. Problem after problem, disappointment after disappointment has hit me lately, one right after the other. I was extremely dishearted and frustrated with it all. Several times I flat out asked, "God, when is it MY turn to have something absolutely great happen??" Well, I haven't gotten a complete definite "great thing", but it's possible that it may just be on the way. I promise that I'll give details as soon as I have some to give, but things may start to look up. I'm just trying my best to trust God....cuz He's working all things for my good!

Just how stupid do I look?? I must look like the most naive person that ever existed. Why? Because people will tell me LIES -- Straight out LIES-- and expect me to believe them. And then I'm suppose to be the good Christian and just accept that person. I'm SO tired of being the one who is suppose to walk away and pretend that I'm not hurt, that I'm not affected. When do I ever get rewarded for this?? When does something good happen to me and something bad happen to them. When do they get a taste of their own medicine?? I know the Bible says when you've done all you can to stand, to just stand. Well I feel like sitting down and crying for a while. Is that legal?? I'm tired of being used, talked about, and lied to. UGH!!!!!!

Someone who is much wiser than he seems and much wiser than anyone would ever give him credit for called me out the other day. He didn't even know he was speaking right to the black pit of my soul. At first I just looked at him, denying that his description was in anyway accurate. No, he had me all wrong I was sure. There is no way that I could possibly be that .... The more I thought about his words, the more truth I began to discover. Maybe I was that . Perhaps, he had labeled me correctly. Possibly I was hiding the real me beneath all of that .... The Bible says that we would know the truth, and the truth would make us free. However, knowing the truth now, I don't feel the least bit liberated. I feel ashamed. I feel inadequate. I feel exactly what the wise one called me.... Am I less of a person because I feel that ? Or does realizing I am that make me more of a person. Maybe everyone is that at one time or another. Maybe we are all that in some aspect of our lives every...

That's the question I asked my students at the beginning of class one day last week. Answers varied throughout my 7th grade classes. Most popular was snakes, spiders, and report card day. A few students admitted they were afraid of the dark or even clowns. Some boys proudly proclaimed that they were not afraid of anyone or anything. It's amazing how quickly new epiphanies come to me, especially when I'm teaching. But as I began to hear the student's responses to my fear question, this thought came to mind. Many students kept asking, "What's your greatest fear, Ms. Rigney?" My reply is this... No, I don't like snakes, spiders, and other creepy, crawly insects or rodents. If there were one in the room, I may freak out and be very frightful. However, they are not my greatest fears. I don't live every day terrified that a bug or rat may be lurking around a dark corner awaiting me. I hardly ever think of them at all, as a matter of fact. So even though ...

....and I promise I'll blog some thoughts. I've actually got about 4 things rolling around in my head right now, but unfortunately I don't have the time to type them out right now. Let me get through the next few days, and as soon as I get some spare time, I'll jot them down for ya. Until then...keep the faith!

I can't believe that I haven't been keeping everyone posted on all of my teaching stories. I started teaching by myself Tuesday and ended up giving a test Friday. Here are some of my many stories... First you must know that 90% of my students are African-American living in low economic area. I'm a white middle-class lady. So some of my adventures are quite cultural. My schedule for the week was suppose to be very light. I was going to do a warm-up activity with the students for the first few minutes of class, then my cooperating teacher (Coach CT) would teach the actual lesson. Well, first period Tuesday, I do the warm-up activity. When I got done I told the kids Coach CT was coming to finish up, and the kids said, "No, we want you to finish teaching us." So I ended up teaching the whole lesson for all four, 7th grade classes. Later, I was going around the classroom trying to learn the students' names. After attempting several of the names, one boy said. ...

10 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME... 10. I have horrid sinus problems 9. I've spent the whole afternoon reading a book written by a friend 8. My room is "heartbreak" red. 7. I look younger than I am, but feel much older. 6. I despise dishonesty. 5. I still crawl up in my mom/dad's lap and watch tv. 4. I haven't dated anyone in almost 5 years. 3. I hate feet. 2. I love Harry Potter. 1. I'm graduating college in December. 9 PLACES I'VE VISITED... 9. Denver, CO 8. Houston, TX 7. Tampa, FL 6. Columbus, OH 5. Nashville, TN 4. St. Paul, MN 3. Atlanta, GA 2. Gulf Shores, AL 1. Hot Springs, AR 8 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE... 8. Travel the world 7. Make a difference in a child's life 6. Marry the man God designed just for me 5. Go skydiving 4. Have my own home 3. Raise a family 2. Own a convertible 1. Get my master's/PHD 7 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART... 7. Challenge me to be a better person 6. Sing to me 5. Pray for me 4. Look me in the eye when we have a conversati...

Nature's first green is gold. Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower, But only so an hour. As leaf subsides to leaf, So Eden sinks to grief, As dawn goes down today, Nothing gold can stay. --Robert Frost Is this poem true?? Can anything gold stay with?? I'd like to think that maybe Mr. Frost was wrong. I know that nothing physically gold can stay, but what about the spiritual gold? The freshness of life?? Just something to think about --

Living up to my blog's name, this original thought is really compliments of my oh, so wise Asst. Pastor, Bro. Steven Cantu.... Most of the time when we come to God for healing, it's for the physical things. Examples: headaches, backache, diseases. Then there are times that we ask God to heal our finances, our broken heart, maybe even our marriage. We ask God to heal the things that are hurting us. However, we hardly ever ask God to heal the things in us that may be hurting others. Example: our personality, bad attitudes, hypocritical character. We are always so quick to judge others and pray for others who have the wrong spirit. Yet we forget that sometimes we ourselves may be in the wrong and in need of healing. Thought #2 As a result of Hurricane Katrina, my best friends are housing their nephew, his wife, and three sons. One of their precious children has a lung deformity. If I have this all correctly, Cheese boy has had over 15 surgeries in his short 4 years of life, and be...

Friday was my first day at O'Bannon High School as a Student Teacher. Not too much eventful things occurred, but I do believe it's going to be an interesting year for me. The first rule of being a new teacher is not to smile until November. Veterans say that it's good for you to be stern and strict your first years of teaching so that the students don't take advantage of you. Well I realized Friday that not smiling is going to be extremely hard for me! One of the teacher's I was observing had a student who wouldn't quit talking. Finally he asked the student to take a note to another teacher, advising him to take the long way and to walk very slowly. About 5-10 minutes later, I saw the boy walking down the hall. In the front of every class at the very top of the wall, there are several windows. The student climbed on top of the lockers and got up in the window and started waving at the class. I instantly fell out laughing. I'm going to have a hard time stayin...

The Shane and Shane concert was great! I had great seats and the unmarried Shane stared at me the whole night! I think I'm in love!! *sigh* My friend reminded me that the only reason it looked as though the unmarried Shane was staring at me all night was because I was sitting directly in the middle of the audience. But a girl can dream can't she?? In all seriousness though, the concert was good. A duo named Monk & Neagle opened up for Shane and Shane and did a very good job. Check out their websites for more info. I went to the Mississippi State Bulldogs football game last night. Big shout out to my dawgs for pulling a good win of 38-6 over Murray State. For all of those of you who know that it is nothing to boost about when one beats Murray State....Shut Up! ;-) Hurricane victims still need all the help you can get. Our church is setting up a relief fund that will go directly to UPC church's in Mississippi. We are collecting anything that people wish to donate, not jus...