Originally Unoriginal

Please pardon my venting, but writing helps me clear my mind... Joyce Meyer says that sometimes the present thing is the greatest enemy to what God has for your future. The problem with this...Is how do you know that the present thing is the enemy. Sometimes you know, but sometimes you don't. There's a certain situation in my life that keeps me confused as all get out. I've prayed so many times that God's will be done. The next day the situation will get better, then a few days later it's down the drain again. I'm constantly going back and forth in my mind trying to figure out if I should even waste my time with the whole ordeal. I'm an over analyzer (if I haven't said that before), and it gets me in a lot of trouble. I was having some prayer time today while driving down the road in my car. I have a few scriptures on a note card on my dash board. They are all about trusting in God, waiting on him, and such. One says..."Lean not to thine own unders...

I was in the classroom all day today. I feel extremely exhausted, but my mind is racing with all the things I learned from the kids today. The funniest situation was a young boy and girl in my class who "like each other a lot", according to them. Brownie (the young girl) got mad at boisterous (the young boy) at the beginning of play time because boisterous was playing with the other boys and was not playing with her. She pouted in the corner while he looked at her rather confused for a second, then he ran off to continue his playing. Then later, brownie looked at boisterous and said, "I'm not your friend anymore." Again, boisterous looked a bit bewildered. Sometime later, when new groups had been formed and new games were underway, boisterous found himself alone. He went and laid down on the pillows, and Brownie came over just to lay beside him. The whole interaction made me question myself. At first I thought it was kind of funny, how Brownie got offended that ...

The love of friends always amazes me. The true friends always step up right when you need them to be by your side. There are some extraordinary people in my life that have helped support me and my family during our loss. I guess you could say this entry is a great big THANK YOU to all that have called, emailed, hugged, laughed, and cried with me. I know that I couldn't have made it without the prayers of my friends behind me. You think you are prepared for something like this....God had given me plenty of warning that this time was coming. Somehow no matter how much you think you are ready, you are still caught so off guard. My family and I are close. My cousins, uncles, and aunts were there giving me their support, hugs and "I love you's." But there is something about that friend, who doesn't have to, but chooses to anyways. Here are some examples of the great friends that I have.... Mrs. Sunshine came home with me, so I wouldn't have to travel the 3 hour tr...

As anyone can infer through reading my blogs, I've been through many changes in the past few months. At times I feel as though my life has been turned upside down. But I was thinking today that nothing has suffered as many changes as my cell phone. I think a cell phone is a good way to measure how much your life has changed. Follow me, if you will. My cell phone is a good indicator of the people I know, at least well enough to talk to pretty regularly. I meet new friends, and I add their name and number into my phone. Here my friends remain stored in my most used gadget. Even though it's just a cell phone or just a name and number, it represents people that mean a lot to me. As friends grow important to me, they may be added to my speed dial list or even gain a special ringtone. Then I know exactly when they're calling or can reach them just a bit faster. But things happen and for whatever reasons, names in my phone have to change. For example, my friend Elizabeth got marri...

There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just say it. My grandmother passed away this morning. As much as I tried to prepare myself for this, it is still very hard to deal with. Keep my family in your prayers.

Have you ever met someone so jaded by life that you almost feel sorry for them. In the movie Hitch , the girl (I can't remember her name) automatically doesn't trust guys. She assumes that they are lying from the start. Though the scenario works just fine for the plot, I really began to contemplate her situation. How sad it must be to go through life waiting for everyone you come in contact with to burn you. I go with my instinct most of the time. There are certain people I will freely open up to, and there are others that I keep at bay. I usually trust people until they prove they can't be trusted. Have I gotten hurt, numerous times. However, I've often benefited more than not. There have been times that I tell myself that I don't trust someone, knowing that deep down, I trust them completely...in order to guard my heart. It's really hard to fool yourself though. Then at times, I try to hide the fact that I trust someone in order to keep them guessing. In the e...

I always thought one of my biggest fears was being out of the will of God. As the days go by, I'm beginning to realize that I'm not afraid to be out of the will of God...I'm afraid of what the will of God may be! Recently I've been learning a whole lot about myself. I'm here in Hot Springs living with friends with no real authority figure but myself and God. I must say it has been very exciting, refreshing, but also tiring. I have to do my own laundry (when I'm not going back to MS for the weekend), I help cook, I go to work, and I've gone grocery shopping. I've learned how to actually cook, and do a decent job at it! I've learned that I am capable of being on my own. I learned how to move on from a big mistake, repent, forgive myself, and most importantly forget that it happened. I'm learning that distance (whether physically or emotionally) can cause a strain on friendships. However, I'm trying my hardest to beat the odds and keep lasting...

It seems my life is nothing but children now a days. I guess the Lord is preparing me for my upcoming profession as a teacher. So hopefully you won't get bored with my stories. I'm not, and there is only more to come for the rest of my life pretty much! Today I worked til 5:30 which was GREAT. I got more hours, which means more money, and I had a good time playing with the kids. Towards the end of the day one of my favorite kids came into my class and was playing with the rest of the kids. He had asked me a few questions, and we all conversed back and forth for a while. Finally he says, "Ms. Kimberly, you're nice. I really like you a lot." Of course, I was flattered and thanked him. Then a little while later he said, "Ms. Kimberly, you're the prettiest teacher in the whole school." Well that had me! This boy is definitely going to be my favorite for the rest of the summer. Jeff (the youth pastor who I'm staying with this summer) tried...

God has a way of keeping me humble. This past Thursday morning was the perfect example. I forgot to set my alarm, and I was home alone. I was suppose to be at work at 7:00 AM, and that morning at about 7:40 one of my co-workers finally called to check on me. I heard the phone ringing, so I jumped out of bed to go answer the phone. Well, my foot was asleep and when I got to my feet, I fell smack down on the carpet. (Have a nice carpet burn on my knee to remind me!) So I got back up and fell right back down again. Well I finally get to the phone, call work and tell them I'm coming. I get all my stuff together and run out the door. I get to my car and remember I left my bag upstairs. I go back in the house, get my stuff, and come back to the car. I get to my car and see that I left my sunroof open over night. Of course, it rained that morning. Needless to say, my day was pretty worthless. So please don't worry if I'm getting to self-assured. God always reminds me that I'm ...

Mistakes. I hate them, but sometimes we make them. Then we have to deal with them. I recently made a big mistake. Then the next day I had to deal with the guilt, and it almost became just a bit too hard to bear. The thing with this mistake is that no one knew I did anything wrong, except for me and God. The two hardest persons to admit to that I was wrong. In myself, I was disappointed and felt stupid. Towards God, I felt completely unworthy and inadequate. I knew God would forgive me, but I felt like such a hypocrite. God must have known my heart. The sincerity of how much I wanted and needed his forgiveness. The next night I attended a youth camp service, and Bro. Calvin Jean preached right to me. He talked about how we all make mistakes, but we have to forget them and move on. Paul says that the only way to press towards the high calling of Jesus is to forget those things which are behind us. You know, I might have messed up, but God doesn't remember it anymore. Neither should I...

Did I ever mention that I'm loving my new job?? Well today, I had another reason to love it. It's beyond freaky how much I'm liking children. I'm worried that God may be preparing me for something I'm not too ready for! One of my best friends always said she couldn't wait to meet the man who would "break" me. I always replied "wild hearts can't be broken." Well I guess she was right, but it's not really a man but a bunch of cute little kiddies! hehe. They made me feel really good today, and it was the little encouragement that I needed. Well you know that I'm the cook. So today one of the kids came up and said, "Ms. Kimberly. You're a good cook. I like everything you make." It was SO super sweet. So he went and sat back down at his table and he kept saying, "Ms. Kimberly's a good cook." Then he said, "Ms. Kimberly, he thinks you're cute." (Pointing to another boy in his class.) So it then ...

I'm enjoying my job so much this summer. I'm not with the kids a whole lot, but I enjoy every minute I get to spend with them. It's been such a "God Thing" being here this summer. I know more than ever that I do want to teach....that God has that plan for my life. (At least for the time being.) So we went on a field trip Wednesday to go rock climbing (which was SOOO fun!). I was driving a van with 9 kids in it, so it was a little noisy. I tuned in the radio to K-LOVE and had it loud enough so I could here it in the front. Well one of the kids heard the radio and asked me to turn it up because it was a good song. So the kids quieted down a bit and started listening to some "Third Day". Well another song came on and the same boy said, "Oh I love this song too." The lead singer of the song was a girl, and one of the other boys said, "That's a girl song." He quickly retorted, "It's not a boy song or a girl song; it's a Je...

I'm big on email. I try to stay in contact with as many friends as possible. So today I was very excited to see that I had emails from several friends. One of those friends I haven't talked to in a long while, an ex-boyfriend named Chris. I must say he has really changed, and I sat reading the email with an open mouth. Before, he wasn't into church, He just went because his dad was the pastor. But now he's a youth pastor in a church in Texas (I think) and He's completely sold out to God. He's email was such an encouragement. It's amazing how God knows exactly who to send your way, exactly at the right time. Chris wrote about being a "lifter" instead of a "leaner". Here's a little bit of what he said... "I have learned that there are two kinds of Christians in this world, there are leaners and there are lifters. The statement itself is pretty explanatory. A church full of leaners will crumble because all that is ever passed is n...

At the church here in Hot Springs, one of the guys sang a song Sunday morning by Clint Brown . It's one of my favorite songs off his new album because it deals with being overwhelmed by God. Recently, God gave me a scripture about being overwhelmed and some great insight to go along with it. Well the song has been stuck in my head all day. Even though I sent my thought out months ago to a bunch of friends, I thought I would share it here on my blog. Here it goes... "When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then you knew my path." Psalms 142:3 At times I get a bit stressed out with school, work and church responsibilities that I forget that God knows my path. He knows where I'm at, and more importantly, He knows where I'm headed. This scripture was such a great reminder to me that when I'm going through my own private darkness God is in me, comforting my spirit. One night during our prayer service at church, I was sitting on the pew just meditating on God bec...

Thankfully a friend called and saved me from myself Friday night. I've also been assured that anytime I'm bored, I'm free to call or come by and just chill. That makes me feel much better. I hate to be a bother to people or invite myself. I hate to feel uncomfortable, so I'm extremely careful not to make others feel that way either. Friends are great. Especially those that are willing to overlook awkwardness that may have existed and just be a friend. Those tend to be the best friends because you end up being really comfortable with each other. I love friends who understand that even though you haven't called them in days, that you haven't forgotten them. They understand that you still love them, you're just busy. And those friends that notice when something's wrong and are there to offer a hug and a kiss on the forehead if need be. My Nanna is doing good. She's back home from the hospital. She's doing ok health-wise, but her mind is still not so...

Well it's been 5 days here in Hot Springs, and things have gone well. I've stayed busy, had tons of fun, and worked, worked, worked. It's been almost a fantasy. Things have been great, and I've had something to do every night. It's been like a vacation, just having a great time. Then comes reality. It's 6:16 on a Friday night, and I'm laying in bed watching Season 1 of One Tree Hill because of a lack of anything better to do. I'm not at home, so I can't just drive over to my best friends and walk in his house and start chillin'. It's not my own house so I can't call over everyone and throw a party. So I'm sitting here, waiting for someone to call and ask me to hang out. Even though this is home for the summer, it's still not my home. I love it here, everyone is been great, but at times like this...I don't really know what to do. I don't do boredom very well. So I may come back periodically through the night and post...agai...

It's been said that You never know what you can do until you have to do it. I proved that saying today. I've never had to cook before at home. So I don't do it. Nor do I feel that just because you are a girl means that you have to be all domestic. Well being here in Hot Springs, living away from my mom, I've had to step up to the plate. This time, the plate was a stove. I cooked my first meal today, well the first meal that I've done completely by myself. I made Chicken Enchiladas, and the couple that I'm living with loved them. I didn't burn anything, not even my hands! I'm sooo super proud! It's such a great feeling to know that I've done something I've never done before. And that I did it well! There is no telling what else I may accomplish this summer.....