Originally Unoriginal

I'm so absolutely bored. I've been in my house since Friday night and haven't gotten out except to run to wal-mart this morning. It was a decent Christmas, but now I'm just plumb bored. Usually we spend Christmas at my Nanna's house with all of my relatives coming in and out. Well of course, since my Nanna is no longer with us, Christmas was a bit different this year. We stayed here at the house and had a big breakfast. Then me, mom, dad, and my brother opened presents. One of my uncles and my aunt came over to visit for about an hour. Then 3 of my cousins came and had Christmas Supper with us. It just wasn't the same. We all got good Christmas presents though. I'm sitting in the living room on my laptop with my new wireless internet. It's great. I get to watch football and blog all at the same time. I got a few new CD's, a book, clothes, and a laptop briefcase. I've watched a ton of movies, checked out every website known to man, and now I'm

I really just cannot seem to get a break! It's absolutely ridiculous. Tonight at church we were doing a repeat of our Sunday Christmas Program. What a complete joke. Everything went wrong. The singing was off, the music was off. It just wasn't good at all. Well I'm in charge of the "drama." (Both literally and figuratively). We had performed 2 songs Sunday. Well in the middle of the first song tonight, I realize that I'm missing a boy for the 2nd song. It was far to late to replace him, so I send a guy down to our pastor to let him know that we were only doing one song. Well for some reason the message doesn't get across. So after the end of the first song, I hightail it down from the balcony where I had been running the spotlight to tell the kids that we aren't doing the 2nd song. I have to then run across the stage and turn all the lights back on. My pastor still doesn't get what's going on, and I'm on the platform in front of the entire

I don't need any encouraging comments to this blog. I don't even want anyone to feel sorry for me. After a good night's sleep, my misery won't be so large. But for right this moment, I just want to wallow just a bit in all of my sad, negative feelings. I am so sick of being the 3rd, 6th, or 9th wheel!! Everyone I hang out with is married or dating, and it's about to drive me to gagging. You know, I'm all glad they have someone, and that they feel all warm and cheery inside, but could you please wait to the privacy of your own backseat, or where ever it is that you are alone and do all that nasty cuddling and "I can't keep my hands off of you" crap! No 22, newly college graduate girl wants to see it especially near the holidays. I'm a very independent, self-confident person; however, I'm not dumb to the obvious. I can realize that I'm the only single person sitting at the table and that my parents are picking up the tab for me. It's

I have a new favorite Christmas CD. It's one by Reliant K! For those of you not familiar with Reliant K, they are a punk rock Christian/crossover band. They take some old Christmas Carols and give them a new flair. There's nothing like "Deck The Halls" with electric guitars. My favorite song is their rendition of "The 12 Days of Christmas." They add in a little riff that says "What's a partridge, and what's a pear tree? I don't know, so please don't ask me. But I can beat they are terrible gifts to get!' For a "small, sleepy town", there is always some type of drama going on. It just never ends, but it's something I've learned to accept. The drama here usually includes others, and I somehow get dragged into it. (I promise to the dear Lord, I am ALWAYS an innocent bystander.) Anywaz, last night at church we had Drama Team practice, getting ready for our Christmas program. I was leaving a friend's house and I said

Only a week has passed, but oh so much has happened. Let me recap.... Thursday was my last day at O'Bannon. I didn't cry contrary to popular belief. We had all our students playing "The Game" which was a jeopardy type trivia game for their 9-weeks test, so everyone was too caught up in the hoopla of the game to really think about missing me. After school, I went with my CT on his bus route, and he made me drive the bus on the way back to the school. Don't worry, all the kids were already safely delivered to their homes. I must say that it was pretty fun to drive the bus, and I did a good job! Thursday night, my CT and his wife came over for dinner and an exchange of presents. All the kids had made me cards telling me goodbye and how much they would miss me. Then I got a Jr. High Football game jersey with my name on the back, a practice t-shirt, a football helmet, and a football signed by my CT. I must say I got a bit teary-eyed reading the cards. Friday was gradua

The trip to Montgomery, AL was a blast. The people that were hosting us, the Children's defense fund, didn't have a clue about what they were doing, but O'Bannon High School had a great time regardless. We were on a charter bus with 3 other schools, but O'Bannon kept the bus CRUNK (as my students would say.) We brought movies to watch and even broke into a rendition of "The Jefferson's" theme song, among other songs. Then we stayed up til 2:30 playing UNO and Spades with the kids in the hotel room. Monday we went to the Rosa Parks museum and the Civil Rights museum. Both of those were pretty cool. We were suppose to go to a re-enactment of the Mass Meeting where Al Sharpton was preaching, but our kids voted to stay at the hotel and play cards. That night one of the students braided my hair. I had corn-rows. It was GREAT! My CT thought I was one of the other students when he first saw me. Anywaz, it was a great time, and I really got to connect with the stu

....and I decided not to go back to Delta State. The most asked question has been, "Do you feel good about your decision?" My answer: Yes I do. In my heart, I knew I didn't want to go back to school (at least not as a student). However, I also knew that my offer was amazing, and therefore extremely hard to walk away from. Yet in the end, I had to take advice from the movie Braveheart as I was reminded by my CT. "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it." Among other encouraging words from others (Thanks to all of you) I was able to make the best choice that would make me the happiest. Let's face it, yes I have the rest of my life to teach, but I also have the rest of my life to go back to school. For now, I'm ready to teach, to change lives, to make an impact. I don't feel like I can do that adequately sitting in a classroom at DSU writing papers. Don't get me wrong, I do want to go back and get my master's and maybe even move up in

Still no answer. Yeah, I know, I'm suppose to tell my professor today, but I don't have anything to tell him. So I'm going to wait until tonight and see if God gives me some sign at church. If not, then I guess I'll cry at my computer screen tonight give my professor an answer and then agonize for a while about making the wrong decision. My CT's tried to give me advice today. They pretty much summed it up as do what you want to do and trust God to take care of the rest. Well I could see myself doing both things. I'd much rather teach, but what if God has something else planned for me. What if I do follow my heart and don't take the offer at DSU. And then I don't get a job this semester or in August. Then I'm just sitting around waiting on nothing when I could have been working on something else. I could technically teach somewhere else, but I don't want to teach anywhere else but O'Bannon or Western Line. At least for right now. But if I do t

No answer yet. I think God is waiting to the last minute. Yet I'm trying really hard to believe that He's going to give me an answer. I have to email my professor tomorrow and let him know for sure what I'm doing. As of right now, it's still a mystery to me. So it's not too late to say a little prayer for me....or just tell me what to do! Nothing new and exciting is really going on. I'm trying to improve myself, emotionally and spiritually. Lately I've been very impatient and easily aggravated. I'm trying to put all the junk behind me and move on. I don't have to like what people do, but I don't have to dwell on it and let it bother me. I'm a fixer, so I try to analyze and fix everyone's mistakes...many times ignoring my own problems. That's the reason why I'm down to my last day without an answer about school. I procrastinated while trying to deal with everyone else's problems. However today, I was able to step back admit def

I think I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather not have options than have options. Of course, I only say that because I have options. If the situation was reversed, I'm sure I would rather have options. What am I babbling about?? What to do next semester. I've written of the offer to go back to school next semester. Sounds great and wonderful. But let's not be fooled. It's going to be very hard work. Graduate school is much more time consuming than Undergraduate school, much tougher, more reading/writing, more thinking. Plus Side of going back to Delta State-- I'll be going to graduate school with endless opportunities to meet new people, further my education, make major connections that could help later in life. Everything will be paid for. I don't have any other option for next semester as of yet except to go to Delta State. I'll get paid more money in the long run for having a master degree. I may decide that I like community development far

I've got a few serious things going on in my head right now. However, to sit down and write about them would cause me to actually give thought to them. I'm avoiding thought on them at the moment, so therefore, I can't write about them. So please forgive me as I avoid the serious and blog about something fun.... We got a new coffee shop in town! This is huge news considering that the only coffee shop we had in G'ville before this past weekend was the coffee maker at the local Conoco gas station! Woo Hoo!! The Delta Grind, the new coffee hangout, is the best thing that's happened to me recently! I went tonight with some friends and had a good time just chillin' drinking my "Heath Bar Heaven" drink and eating a piece of caramel cheesecake and Tuxedo Brownie. This place only has the potential to get better! I'm very excited! And if it doesn't work out as a coffee shop, with it's name, it could also become a sex shop!?! I went to Hot Springs for

It's funny how technology changes things... When I was younger, Sears use to send out a thick, Christmas catalog. My brother and I would spend hours going through the toy section making out our own wish list for the holidays. These lists would include every new toy that sparked our interest. We would even help out the 'rents by including prices and page numbers. Sometimes my list was 2 pages long. As the years have gone by, our lists have gotten shorter, and they don't include items from the toy section of the Sears' Christmas Catalog. Mine usually consists of some new fangled electronic gadget and clothes. This year, in the spirit of things, I decided to provide my family a Christmas wish list for me. Howerver, instead of handwriting a list with page numbers, I've typed out a list, including hyperlinks and pictures for easy access to my potential presents. I saved the document on our computer's desktop, so that at any time, my family may access these items. **S

I wrote a little while back that Delta State had offered me a GA position working in the college of Education next semester. Well, I go Wednesday to talk over details with the lady that asked me about the job. Sounds great right? Today I received an email from an old professor (also the head of the Social Science Dept.). He is offering me a fellowship that will pay $10,000 a semester. The fellowship will include payment for tuition, books, insurance, and a $900 a month stipend. All I have to do is work 20 hours a week with another faculty member on some research about community development. Sounds even better right?? Here in lies the problem. I already told the first people, that I would work for them. However, I don't know yet how good the first offer is going to be. Somehow I'm doubting that it will be for as much as the Fellowship is for. So, I'm going to talk with the College of Education and see if there is anyway that I can work both places. Instead of College of Ed.

I have been well introduced to the everyday antics of O'Bannon High School as a student teacher this semester. Today was another eventful day... First period began as any normal day. However, about half way through the period, one of my student's, CareBear, came up to and said she felt funny. She said that she was dizzy and was having problems seeing. CareBear has complained of feeling dizzy before, but she always refuses to see the nurse because most of the time she is just pretending. Well again today I asked her if she wanted to go see the nurse. She refused, so I told her to just go sit back down in her seat. A few minutes later she began to act as if she were high, began slurring her speech, and stumbling around her desk. Coach CT sent another student to see if the nurse was in and began to call CareBear's grandmother. About this time, CareBear had stumbled back up to my desk, and I had her sit down in a chair beside the desk. Coach CT got in touch with her grandmother

Remember that stupid guy I blogged about recently. Well, he's still stupid, but he may have a legitimate reason for it now, and I almost feel bad. First off, he didn't tell me this. So it's not like it's some bogus excuse for his actions. I've actually pieced all of this together from very reliable sources... 13 years ago, stupid guy's brother died. Stupid guy was only about 17 and took it extremely hard as he was very close to his brother. After the brother died, stupid guy became a loner of sorts. He was in a relationship with a girl at one time, and he slowly stopped wanting to go out. He just wanted to stay at home and only do things occasionally. (I don't know if that's the only reason why the relationship ended, but it's the only information pertinentto my story.) Anywaz, stupid guy just recently said (like a day or so ago) that he's finally beginning to let his brother's death go. So obviously stupid guy has real issues with becoming c

Have you ever watched someone make a mistake, and despite all your yelling, you couldn't stop them from doing so?? I'm in that situation right now. It's actually been going on for about a year now, but it's just getting worse. I know this person, and when I say know them, I mean I know just about every single thing there is to know. This person is making the biggest mistake of his/her life and knows it but is just to caught up to make the right choice. What's sad is there are several people in the background yelling the right answer, and he/she just want make the right choice. Now, to make matters worse is that I have to sit by, not say anything, and watch it all happen. Of course, I could be messy, get some other people involved, and watch the poo hit the fan. But in the end, the poo could just some how get slung all over me. Then I would look like the bad person and have this friend hate me forever. If I leave it alone, the friend may get hurt, but in the

Do I still think guys are dumb, liars? Yes. But instead of finding it aggravating, I find it funny. It's the same song; it's just a different genre now. No more Avril Lavigne punk rock. Now it's more of a country Brad Paisley song. Instead of screaming over the agonies of figuring out a guy, I'm singing about it in a very satirical manner. As many of you know, the guys in my life are always messed up in some way. Usually they just sell me some story, and then go on their ways. Well this time, I've got a guy who I don't think has lied to me yet, but he just can't seem to get his act together. Here's the run down of how it went.... Him: "Hey, are you going to the b-ball game tonight?" Me: "I thought about it. Are you?" Him: "Yeah." **Long pause, me waiting for the reason why he asked me if I was going to the game. No reply** Me: "You don't coach b-ball do you? Are you just going for the kids?" Him: "No, I do

I work at a public school, so things get a little rowdy sometimes. This afternoon a few kids got into a fight, there was yelling going on down the hallway, and such. I looked over at one of the students who lives down the street from me, and said "Diva, let's just go home to our quiet street." And I did just that. Then I had plans to go out with a friend and her sister tonight. Before I left, I shook my head at my mother who was laying on the couch as my dad proceeded to watch some dumb Jet Li movie. I turned to her and asked, "Is this what I have to look forward to?? Sitting on the couch on a Friday night watching some movie I have no interest in??" Mom just replied, "Maybe when you're 50...." I wished them a nice night and headed out. So my friend is driving me home, and we turn down my nice, quiet street. Only, my nice, quiet street now has 3-4 police cars and 2 firetrucks parked right near my house. All I can think is, "Is that MY house??&

I stole this quote from someone else's blog . Seemed kinda fitting for my present situations... "Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of progress." ~ Thomas A. Edison Just wondering how long it takes the discontentment to move into progress?? Hopefully real soon!!

I'm the type of person, when I'm upset, everyone knows it. I hate that about myself, but I can't help it. Not all my emotions are worn on my sleeve, but anger is. Most especially it shows when I'm at church. Sorry, call me wrong, but I can't act like I'm all spiritual when I'm fuming. It's just not going to happen. So what's the big deal about it?? Well, you're like me, everyone knows you're upset, and they start asking you questions. Then they think you are mad at them because you don't respond to their questioning or whatever. It's not that you are mad at them, they just happened to be in your path when the snap hit. God tells us to be angry and sin not. Very, very hard to do. At least it is for me. What's worse is when that anger is mixed with sadness, guilt, frustration, and confusion. Then you've got one messy, messy situation. Well that's where I was Sunday night and pretty much still am today, and everyone knows it.

First, if you don't like my blog, don't read it! I got the dumbest comment from an anonymous reader on my "Am I that Transparent" post. Some people are rather ridiculous! Anywaz, here's some details of my uneventful life... I got a call today from someone at Delta State, and they would like me to come work at Delta State in the College of Education as a Graduate Assistant . That means that I would be in Graduate School . That means DSU may be paying my tuition to get my MASTERS! I'm very excited about that! Secondly, I had to write a teaching philosophy. I got really into it, so I thought I would share it with you all. I must admit I had some help, but once I got my "theme" I jumped in!! Here goes.. The United Stats is at war. It is a war based upon culture, race, and socio-economics. Caught somewhere in the middle of this war are precious children, and if adults are not careful, the children will become the casualties of war. Teachers are the soldie

Well it's been about 2 days since my resolve to really let God be in control. I think I've done a great job so far. Nothing has had me too worked up or worried. I even had a situation that I could have over-analyzed, and I didn't. I just carried on with my life and didn't think twice about it. I think I deserve a cookie!! Other than that, I'm helping my junior high football team! Get that...I'm not only Ms. Rigney but Coach Rigney! The guys only have 2 games left, but I'm going to be on the sidelines and "assist" for both of those games. I went out to practice today from 9-12. I know the kids enjoyed the extra attention. Also, I have a hideous sinus infection. I take sinus/allergy medicine everyday, but a few times a year I get a nice infection. Thank God it hasn't been too painful. One night I did wake up thinking my head was going to explode, but 5 pills later, I wasn't feeling too bad. It's just that nasty taste in your mouth that y

I have a "promise box" that I draw scriptures out of occasionally, when I need some encouragement from the Lord. Today I drew a great promise; they are: "I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not." Isaiah 41:13 "For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Matthew 7:8 Both scriptures were very uplifting and right on time. Everyone knows I have trust issues, even when it comes to God Himself. I'm independent and want to work it out all by myself. That I'm an over-analyzer is an understatement. I've been a complete jerk lately, acting like I can make it on my own, although I know that I'm so incapable. Today, I had to spend some time apologizing to God for acting the way I have. It all boils down to some previous posts. I'm afraid of failure. Therefore I try to find every angel of every situation and protect myself against that failure. Deep

He didn't walk me to the door last night after the date. It's just bad etiquette. Yeah, he took me to a nice restaurant. Yes, we had good conversation. So what!! Manners are manners...right?? Another insight to myself... I look for faults in guys. I look for something, anything to be wrong. I nit-pick until I find a shred of imperfection and then I magnify it to outlandish degrees. Why do I do that? I think in most cases, I do it to spare my heart. I've had enough bad experiences to assume that a guy is going to screw up and break my heart. So if he's wrong right from the start, I won't get my hopes up. It's often been said to keep low expectations, that way when things fail, you won't be hurt. That is how I handle relationships with guys. I'm going to try and give this guy another chance, if he asks for one that is. Maybe he'll prove me wrong, but then again...

Lately, people have been noticing things about me. Things that I wasn't really even aware of myself. Once they point it out though, I see that it is so obvious. Today I was talking to my CT about a guy. I made the comment, "He seems really sincere." My CT quickly picked up on the word "seems." Coach CT asked, "Have you had a lot of bad experiences with guys?" I chuckled and said, "What girl hasn't?? But, yeah, I've been around some liars in my time." Coach CT replied, "I could tell because you said that this guy 'seems' sincere. You must have trust issues when it comes to guys." He basically told me to keep my heart guarded but not to push everyone away. Now I know that I can be a big guy basher, but I always felt that I trusted someone until they proved they couldn't be trusted. I guess when it comes to potential boyfriends (or whatever), it's a different story. Maybe I am untrusting of guys, looking for the

...Where you felt the need to tell people exactly how you feel even if it was with little or NO tact?? I've been in one of those moods lately, so fair warning...Stay far away from me. Unless, of course, you want to know how I really feel about you. I guess this is where I always get confused with "Christianity." We aren't suppose to lie, yet we cover up how we really feel about situations, smile, and act fake towards someone, thinking that we did the "Christian" thing by keeping our mouths shut. But isn't that lying?? Isn't being fake a sin?? Well if it isn't, it should be. I've always heard, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Then 99% of the time, I should just keep my mouth shut. **sigh** Things have just been not so hot around here, and I'm tired of trying to pretend that the situations don't exist. If someone is acting like a hypocrite, then I'm going to call them out on

So things have been a little down for me lately. Problem after problem, disappointment after disappointment has hit me lately, one right after the other. I was extremely dishearted and frustrated with it all. Several times I flat out asked, "God, when is it MY turn to have something absolutely great happen??" Well, I haven't gotten a complete definite "great thing", but it's possible that it may just be on the way. I promise that I'll give details as soon as I have some to give, but things may start to look up. I'm just trying my best to trust God....cuz He's working all things for my good!

Just how stupid do I look?? I must look like the most naive person that ever existed. Why? Because people will tell me LIES -- Straight out LIES-- and expect me to believe them. And then I'm suppose to be the good Christian and just accept that person. I'm SO tired of being the one who is suppose to walk away and pretend that I'm not hurt, that I'm not affected. When do I ever get rewarded for this?? When does something good happen to me and something bad happen to them. When do they get a taste of their own medicine?? I know the Bible says when you've done all you can to stand, to just stand. Well I feel like sitting down and crying for a while. Is that legal?? I'm tired of being used, talked about, and lied to. UGH!!!!!!

Someone who is much wiser than he seems and much wiser than anyone would ever give him credit for called me out the other day. He didn't even know he was speaking right to the black pit of my soul. At first I just looked at him, denying that his description was in anyway accurate. No, he had me all wrong I was sure. There is no way that I could possibly be that .... The more I thought about his words, the more truth I began to discover. Maybe I was that . Perhaps, he had labeled me correctly. Possibly I was hiding the real me beneath all of that .... The Bible says that we would know the truth, and the truth would make us free. However, knowing the truth now, I don't feel the least bit liberated. I feel ashamed. I feel inadequate. I feel exactly what the wise one called me.... Am I less of a person because I feel that ? Or does realizing I am that make me more of a person. Maybe everyone is that at one time or another. Maybe we are all that in some aspect of our lives every

That's the question I asked my students at the beginning of class one day last week. Answers varied throughout my 7th grade classes. Most popular was snakes, spiders, and report card day. A few students admitted they were afraid of the dark or even clowns. Some boys proudly proclaimed that they were not afraid of anyone or anything. It's amazing how quickly new epiphanies come to me, especially when I'm teaching. But as I began to hear the student's responses to my fear question, this thought came to mind. Many students kept asking, "What's your greatest fear, Ms. Rigney?" My reply is this... No, I don't like snakes, spiders, and other creepy, crawly insects or rodents. If there were one in the room, I may freak out and be very frightful. However, they are not my greatest fears. I don't live every day terrified that a bug or rat may be lurking around a dark corner awaiting me. I hardly ever think of them at all, as a matter of fact. So even though

....and I promise I'll blog some thoughts. I've actually got about 4 things rolling around in my head right now, but unfortunately I don't have the time to type them out right now. Let me get through the next few days, and as soon as I get some spare time, I'll jot them down for ya. Until then...keep the faith!

I can't believe that I haven't been keeping everyone posted on all of my teaching stories. I started teaching by myself Tuesday and ended up giving a test Friday. Here are some of my many stories... First you must know that 90% of my students are African-American living in low economic area. I'm a white middle-class lady. So some of my adventures are quite cultural. My schedule for the week was suppose to be very light. I was going to do a warm-up activity with the students for the first few minutes of class, then my cooperating teacher (Coach CT) would teach the actual lesson. Well, first period Tuesday, I do the warm-up activity. When I got done I told the kids Coach CT was coming to finish up, and the kids said, "No, we want you to finish teaching us." So I ended up teaching the whole lesson for all four, 7th grade classes. Later, I was going around the classroom trying to learn the students' names. After attempting several of the names, one boy said. "

10 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME... 10. I have horrid sinus problems 9. I've spent the whole afternoon reading a book written by a friend 8. My room is "heartbreak" red. 7. I look younger than I am, but feel much older. 6. I despise dishonesty. 5. I still crawl up in my mom/dad's lap and watch tv. 4. I haven't dated anyone in almost 5 years. 3. I hate feet. 2. I love Harry Potter. 1. I'm graduating college in December. 9 PLACES I'VE VISITED... 9. Denver, CO 8. Houston, TX 7. Tampa, FL 6. Columbus, OH 5. Nashville, TN 4. St. Paul, MN 3. Atlanta, GA 2. Gulf Shores, AL 1. Hot Springs, AR 8 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE... 8. Travel the world 7. Make a difference in a child's life 6. Marry the man God designed just for me 5. Go skydiving 4. Have my own home 3. Raise a family 2. Own a convertible 1. Get my master's/PHD 7 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART... 7. Challenge me to be a better person 6. Sing to me 5. Pray for me 4. Look me in the eye when we have a conversati

Nature's first green is gold. Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower, But only so an hour. As leaf subsides to leaf, So Eden sinks to grief, As dawn goes down today, Nothing gold can stay. --Robert Frost Is this poem true?? Can anything gold stay with?? I'd like to think that maybe Mr. Frost was wrong. I know that nothing physically gold can stay, but what about the spiritual gold? The freshness of life?? Just something to think about --

Living up to my blog's name, this original thought is really compliments of my oh, so wise Asst. Pastor, Bro. Steven Cantu.... Most of the time when we come to God for healing, it's for the physical things. Examples: headaches, backache, diseases. Then there are times that we ask God to heal our finances, our broken heart, maybe even our marriage. We ask God to heal the things that are hurting us. However, we hardly ever ask God to heal the things in us that may be hurting others. Example: our personality, bad attitudes, hypocritical character. We are always so quick to judge others and pray for others who have the wrong spirit. Yet we forget that sometimes we ourselves may be in the wrong and in need of healing. Thought #2 As a result of Hurricane Katrina, my best friends are housing their nephew, his wife, and three sons. One of their precious children has a lung deformity. If I have this all correctly, Cheese boy has had over 15 surgeries in his short 4 years of life, and be

Friday was my first day at O'Bannon High School as a Student Teacher. Not too much eventful things occurred, but I do believe it's going to be an interesting year for me. The first rule of being a new teacher is not to smile until November. Veterans say that it's good for you to be stern and strict your first years of teaching so that the students don't take advantage of you. Well I realized Friday that not smiling is going to be extremely hard for me! One of the teacher's I was observing had a student who wouldn't quit talking. Finally he asked the student to take a note to another teacher, advising him to take the long way and to walk very slowly. About 5-10 minutes later, I saw the boy walking down the hall. In the front of every class at the very top of the wall, there are several windows. The student climbed on top of the lockers and got up in the window and started waving at the class. I instantly fell out laughing. I'm going to have a hard time stayin

The Shane and Shane concert was great! I had great seats and the unmarried Shane stared at me the whole night! I think I'm in love!! *sigh* My friend reminded me that the only reason it looked as though the unmarried Shane was staring at me all night was because I was sitting directly in the middle of the audience. But a girl can dream can't she?? In all seriousness though, the concert was good. A duo named Monk & Neagle opened up for Shane and Shane and did a very good job. Check out their websites for more info. I went to the Mississippi State Bulldogs football game last night. Big shout out to my dawgs for pulling a good win of 38-6 over Murray State. For all of those of you who know that it is nothing to boost about when one beats Murray State....Shut Up! ;-) Hurricane victims still need all the help you can get. Our church is setting up a relief fund that will go directly to UPC church's in Mississippi. We are collecting anything that people wish to donate, not jus

Bad news first.... Things are still terrible here. As many of you may already know, gas is going sky-high and is becoming very scarce. Many gas stations around here are simply running out of gas. The UPC MS District campgrounds were used as a shelter for some people. We heard tonight at church that some elderly people there died from the heat and conditions. Another friend of mine is trying to head home to Texas, and I'm praying he has enough gas to get there. Good news... The family I told you about from Biloxi finally got intouch with my friend today. They had a 3 story house on the beach. They had to be rescued from their ROOF! Thankfully they are ok. Most importantly, the only good news I can hold to is that God has EVERYTHING in control! He's working everything out for our good! Besides Katrina, life is going on as usual for me. My last day of "block" is tomorrow and then Friday I'll be heading to my public school to begin my student teaching. The school is l

The stories keeping getting worse and worse, and unfortunately the situation seems to get worse and worse. New Orleans is getting more damage everyday as levees continue to break. I have numerous friends that I've been able to talk to. Some still don't have power, some got some last night. One of my good friends have family that live in Biloxi right on the coast, and they can't get in touch with them at all. We are praying they are ok. Cell phone towers are down, so it's impossible to get through to some people. There is a large UPC church in Biloxi pastored by Bro. Springer. I don't know anyone down their personally, but I have no idea what condition the church is in or how their congregation is. Gas is a huge issue here in Mississippi. Many counties aren't able to pump it b/c of the loss of electricity, and some fear they may be running out. Last night the gas stations here in Greenville were packed as everyone made mad dashes to the pumps. It was rumored that

First, I want to tell all of those who've called and emailed, I'm doing just fine. The hurricane's path was not in the line of my city, so thankfully, all we got was rain and wind. It is actually a beautiful day outside today, which is bit unkind considering many areas have been devastated here in Mississippi. The path of the hurricane did hit many parts of Mississippi, and as you can read from all the news reports was the worst storm since 1969. What was so bad is that the meterologists all expected the storm to hit New Orleans and go up the Mississippi River. Many were not prepared in Biloxi and Gulfport for the storm. But also many people in Hattiesburg (3 hrs. Southeast of my home) and Jackson (2 hours southeast of my home) were hit with 100+ MPH winds. I do know of one death that is directly connected to me. A girl that I grew up going to church with lives in Jackson. Her boyfriends parents live in Laurel, MS, (near Jackson). They were sitting in their home watching TV

So I was feeling the stress from my first few days of "block class" before I go out to do my student teaching. We had discussed horror stories, been given a load of work, and been confused beyond belief. And then the real discussion begins... We were having a class discussion about establishing rules in the classroom. Many of us were sharing our fears of inadequacy we may have once we actually begin teaching. One fellow classmate asked, "How do I get the students (especially young black males) to take what they've learned out of the classroom. How do I get them to forget their surroundings and take pride in who they are?" This question got the discussion rolling. Many began to share the same question about how are we to reach the kids. We discussed positive reinforcement, personal time with students, and extra-curricular activities. Our teacher called on "the art major" to add a comment into the discussion. She's a quiet girl who doesn't say mu

I've only been back to school 3 days, and I'm already exhausted, phsyically and mentally! Here goes a recap... I had to report to school at 7:45 Monday morning for a student teacher's meeting. I arrived, received a schedule that was all messed up, and found out my first class wasn't until 10 am. So I went to pay my tuition fee. $1956 for one semester that I'm only taking 9 days of classes for to turn around and go teach for FREE! So then, without thinking, I buy a parking decal for $15. I realize too late that my old decal doesn't expire until the 31st of August. My last day of class is the 1st of September. I could have not bought a parking decal, parked at the library for one day, and saved $15. Then I had to buy a thin, paperback book for a 9 day class that cost me $51.50. On top of that, they told us that we had to subscribe to a new online site for the semester called "Taskstream", which we will use to keep record of our STAI assessment and grades

I just finished the 6th Harry Potter book. Man oh man was I left just a bit depressed. Now, here's fair warning, if you are planning on reading the book, you may want to skip this blog entry.... Now call me dumb if you want, but the end of the book just hurt my feelings. Harry finally starts dating Ginny (who has liked Harry since the 1st book), but at the end of the book He tells her they "just can't be together." Harry is afraid that the evil Lord Voldermort will hurt Ginny in order to get to Harry, and he doesn't want to risk her dying. Well what's it matter if she's dead, you're poor heart is still aching because you aren't with her!!?? It's like the stupid Spiderman movie all over again. I just can't tolerate these people who like people, probably even love them, but aren't willing to risk it to be with that person. Life is short, people are going to get hurt, bad things are going to happen. It doesn't mean that you s

I absolutely adore Tyler Perry. I'm such a big fan of his work, thanks to Buffalo Penny. Every time I see one of his plays, I crack up. What's so great though is the fact that his underlying messages are SO true. I just got finished watching "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." Although I've never been through a divorce, or any break up of that magnitude, I know what it's like to want to be so angry with someone, yet have something within you forcing you to do the "Christian" thing. Forgiveness is such a powerful, liberating action. I highly recommend it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hershey's has a new candy bar out. It's called caramel cappuccino. Oh my word, it's soo good. Go out and try it! It's amazing how it taste like Hershey chocolate and a caramel cappuccino all at the same time. (Hence, the name!) It's seriously heavenly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm adjusting to being back home. It's home, so I

Last night I felt so special. The youth group here in Hot Springs threw me a surprise going away/birthday party. My Birthday is tomorrow (Deuces are Wild, the big 22!), but I also leave tomorrow going back to Greenville for good. So after Youth Prayer, we all met up at McAlister's, and they came bearing cheesecake and gifts. It was one of the sweetest things in the world! So girls, are you ready to melt?? There is a super special guy at HS that is always there for a hug and a laugh. Well last night, he came and sat down beside me and said, "I got something for ya." He said, "Since I won't be around to protect you anymore, I got you this." He proceeds to pull out a toy army man from his pocket. I started crying. I'm going to miss my soldier boy oh so much. I'm so glad for the opportunity I had to spend this season of my life here with such a great church and youth group. The people of Cornerstone UPC are so easy to love. I'm going to miss them all

I'm sitting at a friend's house downloading updates to his computer all alone. So of course, thousands of thoughts are running through my mind, and you know that means a nice blog entry. As previously noted, my days have been beyond hectic (I love it that way!), so I'm finally getting a moment of downtime to gather my thoughts and come up with some type of clarity in the madness. Out of all the negative, I wish to blog on the positive...God's blessings. Now, I am quite aware that there are many people who may think my summer dumb and dull, but I've immensely enjoyed every minute and have had such adventures. I spent a summer living with a super couple that were extremely generous. I had a great job and met new people and of course gained new friendships. Then, I spent 2 weeks in Denver, Colorado. Again, meeting new people and developing new relationships. Now, I'm fixing to head to Columbus, Ohio for National Youth Congress, and God only knows what lies in store

One reader commented that my last blog entry was promoting someone who was a mockery to "The Church." I wish to reply to his comment. Natala's story was anything but a mockery. She stated the bold truth that a lot of Christians become extremely judgmental of sinners. I am even guilty of being so "saved" that I don't reach out to others as I should. There is a difference in setting oneself apart from the world and totally ignoring their needs. Maybe Marie did have numerous opportunities to turn to God. However, it is a normal reaction for people to turn against God when they are hurt. We all feel abandoned at one time or the other, even us Christians. Many times I've asked "Why God?? Why did you leave me alone??" It makes us human, not hideous. I'm sorry if anyone did not find this story as intriguing as I did. I'm aware that everyone can interpret the same thing in different manners. Hopefully many of you will see that this story is a w

http://heretogoal.blogspot.com/2005/08/lessons-from-writing-about-marie.html Whether you really have time for it or not, you should really go read this collection of blog entries. It's a story about a girl and her friendship with a porn star. It sounds crazy, but at the end of the story, I just sat crying. It really speaks volumes. The following is a quote from her story that really stuck out to me... "i still had my faith, but it was not the way i wanted it, it wasn't happy, it wasn't encouraging, it wasn't like they told me it should be at church. it was messy, it was sad, it was angry, it was real." This really gives you an insight on how to really love sinners. So go check it out. You will not be disappointed.

God has been so good to me. I've been greatly enjoying my stay here in Denver. The Mile High Conference was awesome. I've heard so many good sermons that I can't even begin to tell you all the things God has been stirring within me. I guess the best thing to do is just give you an update for the time being. It's going to take me a while to gather all my thoughts about this conference.... I got to spend some time with an extremely good friend, and I must say that I miss him terribly bad now. It's amazing how you can have such a great relationship with someone that you hardly ever get to see. I hope it's not a year before we get to see each other again. I've bonded so quickly with several people here. It's amazing how you can feel as if you've known someone forever and just known them a few days. Not only have I been to church tons, I got to go to Six Flags and Starbucks on numerous occasions (which is a big treat since I don't have one in G'vi

I'm in Denver, CO for 2 weeks. I'm visiting one of my best friends in the world. The church here is having their yearly "Mile High Conference." So I'm sure I'll be blogging lots of things I'll be hearing in the sermons. More to come later...

The Singer/Songwriter/Reverend (and all around good guy) Timothy Spell told a story the other night. It went kinda like this... A while back there was a boy in Florida who was attacked by an alligator. His mother stepped in and saved him by pulling the alligator off of the boy. The boy almost died, but thankfully survived. He was going back to the doctor for a check-up, and the doctor asked him to show him his scars. The little boy innocently asked, "Which ones? The good ones or the bad ones?" The doctor said, "What do you mean the good ones or the bad ones?" The little boy replied, "The ones that the alligator gave me are the bad ones, but the ones my mom gave me trying to save me are the good ones." Sometimes we get ourselves caught in huge messes, and it's impossible to come out without scars. Sometimes those scars are caused when God has to step in and rescue us. Those scars are good scars though, reminding us of God's love and devotion. Rememb

I'm at home (Greenville) tonight. I'm here for the weekend, packing, and heading to Denver, CO for 2 weeks. I'm so excited. Yet, it's all bitter-sweet because it means that my summer is quickly coming to an end, which means that I'll be bidding farewell to Hot Springs in the near future. I was saying goodbye to all my kiddies today, telling them to be good while I'm gone for a few weeks. They all started coming up and hugging me, and one precious little boy even cried. It was all I could do not to bust out crying with him. I thought to myself, what am I going to do when I leave Hot Springs for good. I have plenty to blog about...experiences and lessons learned over the course of 2 months, but I'll save that for later. Tonight, all I have is this song to wrap up my emotions... when pain turns to years it goes away a memory far gone so bitter sweet and sweet it is to taste recover the loss of my friend and why haunts this hunger to love her my ship set its sai

A co-worker shared this analogy with me, and I had to blog about it... A college professor suspects that a student is breaking into his office and stealing money and messing with test grades. He sets a camera up in the office and catches a student in the act. The student readily confesses of both stealing money and changing all of his grades and is ready to receive his just punishment. The student goes on and on about how wrong he has been and how he deserves to be reprimanded. The professor looks at the student and says, "Here's $1000; spend it as needed. I'm also going to keep your grades changed to A's. I'm glad you apologized, and I forgive you. If you ever need anything else, I'm here for you. Just never let this happen again." You are sitting there saying, "Yeah Right! That would never happen." Physically speaking, it wouldn't happen because we are human. However, spiritually speaking, it's exactly what God does for us everyday. We

Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try, life just kicks ya in the butt. You try to do what's right, you make mistakes, you apologize, you move on, then you kicked down so hard you think...what's the sense in even getting back up. It's really hard to be that good person all the time to everyone, especially at times like this. It'd be super easy to walk up to someone and tell them how unworthy they are of you and your friendship. How their actions and lack of respect for your feelings speaks so much louder than any words they ever spoke to you. I don't know who I'm more angry with, the person for being so rude and inconsiderate, or myself for allowing myself to trust them. I guess what really makes me sad is that I have no one to blame but myself really. I'm an intelligent person, I should have known better. I should have changed the situation months ago, but for some dumb reason I let it linger. Now I'm aggravated beyond belief. Oh yeah, and my

I was reading through old emails and I ran across one I had written to some friends almost 2 years ago. It's been doing some raining here, both physically and emotionally, so I thought this would be a perfect blog entry. Enjoy.... It had been storming all day. I had youth choir practice at church, and while I was there, it started raining again. After choir it was still raining, and I was standing at the door trying to figure out the best way to get to my car without getting too wet. I came to the conclusion that there was really no way that I could get there without getting somewhat wet...So I might as well just enjoy it. I walked very slowly to my car in the pouring down rain. Then a friend and I started jumping up and down in a small puddle. Then another friend and I began running, jumping and splashing in the rain. We both got completely soaked! So afterwards, I got some "motherish" chiding of how I was going to get myself sick, but I just replied..."Oh it was wo